My faith

[Ryan]

First off, hello. This is my first post here, as well as first post on any Christian forum. There is a reason for that. Ever since I really started to mature and think more deeply about faith, ethics, etc... I've always sort of subscribed to a quote I once heard. I can't remember who said it, or what exactly it said but roughly it was "never believe anything that doesn't agree with your thought and logic." I've always held true to that. I'm a very skeptical person, always considering about any subject that I'm only hearing one side of a story or that it isn't as simple as it is being presented. This causes me to "what if" EVERYTHING that I can't answer myself. I question what isn't concrete.

This has always applied to everything but my faith, which is something I just held exempt, for whatever reason. I really enjoy looking at things this way. It keeps me open, grounded, reasonable and humble.

Recently, I'd say in the past year, this thinking has invaded my faith. I am very skeptical of God, the Bible, Christianity. I constantly "what if" everything I believe. I have problems with talking snakes, pillars of salt, etc... They just don't sound real, like something I could believe in true honesty. That's why this site appeals to me so much, it helps explain that kind of thing through apologetic. Problem is, then I become skeptical of apologetic "what if this whole apologetic thing is wrong, what if I'm disobeying God by not believe all this is true as told" or "what if apologetic is me grasping straws, trying to preserve a faith that deep down I don't believe". It has really become a problem. I have strong social apprehension and haven't made any friends since starting college over a year ago. I spend a lot of time alone. This gives me time to think. I think about God a lot. That leads to skepticism about God.

This process has left my faith weak. I know it is still there. I told myself a couple weeks ago that if my faith was so weak, maybe I was an Atheist, so I tried for a bit thinking about things as if there were no God. That quickly ended. I felt like there would be no point to living, and the entire time it felt like I was spiritually limp, and the only thing holding me up was God. Almost like I was a puppet and the only thing holding me up was the string and puppeteer. If it is any personal consolation, I know I believe in God. I always feel a faint presence. The same one that I felt holding me up, often faint, but ever-present. But being skeptical Him, always questioning myself yet knowing Atheism isn't the answer is making me more miserable than I think just being Atheist would.

It's left me in a very unhappy state. I feel I have a lot left to accomplish in life but being completely skeptical of my faith while knowing denouncing my faith isn't the right thing to do has left me sort of numb. I want to read the Bible and be rejuvenated, but I'm afraid I'll question that also. Same goes for prayer. I haven't had any motivation since this started. I have no confidence in myself, no self esteem. If I can't even figure out my faith, the core of who I want to be, how can I hope to accomplish anything?


I'm tired of being like this and I joined this forum for the sole reason of getting out of this state. I just want to know I'm not alone for once, that someone is praying for me in this situation. Thank you for your support.

[RickD]

Ryan, welcome to the forum. I'm glad you joined. There are some great people here that can help you with questions you have about pretty much anything. I suggest you look over the articles on the homesite, and then ask any questions that are on your heart.
I too, am a skeptical person. I question just about everything. Whether it's how things work, or why we should believe something. 1Thessalonians 5:21 tells us to test everything.

Recently, I'd say in the past year, this thinking has invaded my faith. I am very skeptical of God, the Bible, Christianity. I constantly "what if" everything I believe.

There's nothing wrong with questioning one's own faith. Go to God with any questions you have. If you are sincere, He will show you His will.
If you have any specific questions, we can help here.
I'll be praying for you.

[B. W.]

Ryan,

When you trust in your own created logic and thoughts, you’ll never find peace or rest for your soul. You’ll find doubts and fears plenty but little joy or peace. Please, stop trying to be like the Star Trek character. Mr. Spock, because we are saved by God's grace thru faith and not by our own works.

Proverbs 3:5, 6, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."

please, Ttry that out for awhile…
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[jlay]

"never believe anything that doesn't agree with your thought and logic."

That would be great if we all had sound thinking. However, this fails to agree with the most basic premise of Christianity. That man is fallen. HIs thoughts are evil. (Gen. 6:5, Matt. 15:19) 2ndly, what standard are we using to measure our logic?

If our only compass is internal, then what are we really saying when we say, 'never believe anything that doesn't agre....?' It's arbitrary. However if we are appealing to an external source, then how do we account for it?

BW is right on the money. Relying on our old self, and the wisdom of this world will not lead to peace and answers. Only doubt and frustration.

[StMonicaGuideMe]

We will pray for you, Ryan. Welcome to the boards. You definitely did one thing right -- coming here and talking to people who can help you. If you have even just a little faith left, cry out to the Lord -- "Help me, do not let me lose my faith" and he WILL listen. Just trust Him but also act the way He would want you to act.

Even Saints have gone through "dry spells" in their faith, where the mind knows, but the spirit is weak. Continue to trust God during this trial. It doesn't mean you're an atheist. And you're right. Believing what they believe leaves one feeling empty and miserable and it will only turn you into a self-serving individual.

Charity is the way for the soul to empty itself and there is nothing more Christian-like than acts of charity. Pray more for others in your life and their needs, not just your own; if you have time, volunteer somewhere where people need help; offer to do something for a friend even if you may not have the time. These things put the focus on others and not ourselves, and if you say to God "I'm removing the focus off of me to do good works, please increase my faith" He will eventually answer. Never let Him go!

[Ryan]

Thank you all. It is very appreciated.