Bad couple of days

[mum1983]

Hi guys,
I've just been struggling this week and I need to get a few things off my chest. I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and this summer I finally got the courage to start my course of anti-depressants to combat the panic attacks I suffer from. During the darkest days of my anxiety, I turned back to God and started attending a local church and it has helped me a lot. A couple months later, I felt God was telling me to see if I could take make it without the anti-depressants. I had a few trusted members of my church pray with me over this and I did get off the pills. I weaned myself off over a month, and I was anxiety free for 10 days until a couple little setbacks came my way. My husband and daughter got the flu and I had a couple sleepless nights and when I asked a church leader for her prayers, she ended up scaring me more. Something she said to me about "spiritual warfare" upset me terribly. She said that as a Christian I would have to be on my guard because "The Enemy" is angry that I'm on Christ's side now. She said that I will especially have to watch out after I've been baptized because that is when I will find a lot of temptations will be put in my way (because immdiately after Jesus' baptism, he had those days of temptation by the devil.). My already vulnerable mind went overboard and I ended up having a panic attack that night thinking that maybe the devil is causing my anxiety, therefore he could make me go mad. (That is my big fear and the fear of a lot of people who suffer from panic attacks which can strike with no warning) I feel so upset because my religion was a big part of my recovery (at least in my mind) because turning to Christ to me meant living without fear. I wanted to approach my baptism wholeheartedly and without fear. I felt so incredibly sad too because the thought of my baptism was keeping me going in a way. I felt I could get through the next few months and the Baptism would make things alright so to speak. After having the panic attack, I went back on my medication. I feel so let down by this. 1) because God didnt' "cure" my anxiety like I thought he had 2)because I was doing so well without my medication and I feel like I've let myself down 3)because although I know what the church leader said was rubbish, I still believed her at the time because I was in a vulnerable state of mind. I'm learning that the church isn't all it's cracked up to be and it's only as strong as it's human members. It's a let down.

[StMonicaGuideMe]

I am so sorry you're going through this. But, may I recommend something to you? I advise you pick up a book on Discerning the Spirits, Ignatius Press has a good line. There are good spirits and bad (angels and demons) who have the power to influence us, and this book describes how to discern who's influencing you quite well. It has helped me through my own difficulties.
Based on the fact you said you felt "let down" because "God didn't cure your anxiety", chances are this is a "bad angel" influence. A good angel would never, ever display anything as "God's fault" in your mind. This bad angel is now also telling you that "church isn't all it's cracked up to be" which is removing you from a few potential good seeds of influence.

It is not a sin for you to use medication if you truly suffer from a biological disorder. I'm not certain what the problem taking them would be - you're not abusing them in any way. Why exactly did you feel the need to remove yourself from them?

Also, THE DEVIL CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO YOU UNLESS YOU PERMIT IT. Don't you see what he's trying to do? He's wanting to stop you from being baptized and it's WORKING. Don't let him win this! Being a Christian doesn't mean you won't have the temptations, but guess what darlin, you're going to have the tools and spiritual grace to combat him much better when it happens.
In any moment of fear or terror that you're about to do the wrong thing, CALL FOR GOD. He will not abandon you or let the devil tempt you away in your weakest moments. Ask your angel to help you, as well. The devil is a coward, and attacks us the hardest when we are weakened. Put on the armor of God and will the devil away from you. He hates the name of Jesus and Mary, so pray aloud if that helps you. Ask your husband and children to pray for your protection.

[mum1983]

Hello StMonica,
To be honest, that "bad angel" theory frightens me because if I start to think there's a bad angel lurking around every corner, capable of interfering with my thought processes, that is going to make me crazy! I don't say this to offend you, it's just that I feel uncomfortable with the idea that spirits cause mental anguish or illness of any kind. I never said anything was God's fault, but I think it is human to feel let down when something we earnestly pray for doesn't happen. We all feel let down by God at some point. I let myself down by panicking and getting carried away, but it's very hard to let go of this condition I have where I do obsess over things and feel anxious a lot. I am learning that it's an emotional disorder which can be helped by faith in God, medication and therapy. I thought faith alone could cure me but maybe I'm just not ready yet.

I felt the need to stop taking the medicine because a lot of people with my condition, or people with depression start to feel good after a few weeks of treatment and begin to think they've conquered their problems. This is how I felt, but like I said, I now think it's wise to follow my doctor's orders and stay on this medicine for at least 6 months.

I'm not as good as I should be but I'm a lot better than I was, and I see God's grace in that. I'm not giving up on God, or on my church, I just wish my church leader had been a bit more discerning in what she said to me at a vulnerable moment.

[StMonicaGuideMe]

I'm not offended, and of course I understand how terrifying that could be. I think it's very wise that you follow your doctors orders and perhaps that will help you a lot Just keep praying, find support in loving friends and family, and know that God will protect you if you ask him to. When you're ready, you can tackle the notion of those nasty spirits trying to woo us all the time (that is what temptation is after all!) and I'm sure you'll be okay with handling it!If you ever want to talk about it, please feel free to PM me! God bless you abundantly!

[mum1983]

Thank you, St. Monica. I am finding a lot of comfort in my Bible and Christian music. It is SO hard, maybe even impossible for some people to put 100% of their faith in God. I mean really, we all worry about SOMETHING. I am trying. Please pray for me.

[StMonicaGuideMe]

You've got it <3

[jlay]

Mum,

As someone who suffered from panic attacks, I can relate to what you are going through. Anxiety is real and manifest itself physically. For about 18 months I suffered from crippling anxiety attacks. Praise the Lord I was able to avoid being medicated. I can't speak to the source of your attacks. My belief is that anxiety is not ultimately going to be helped by medication. My aunt ended up in terrible condition after years of taking drugs for anxiety and depression, which left her institutionalized for a time. Have you been formally diagnosed with a chemical embalance or pshycological condition?

Going on and off these meds can be very dangerous.

In my case, I attribute my anxiety to being disciplined by the Lord, not attacks by demons. I was a believer and was off the beaten path so to say. I was living outside of what I knew to be the will of God. Due to my choices, and lack in my faith life, I became overwhelmed with 'my' life. Not saying that God gave me anxiety, but living contrary to the truth was having a devistating impact on my life and mental and physical health.

The scripture clearly says that God has not given you a spirit of fear. (2 Tim 1:7) Fear like this is NOT from God.

Not sure I would say the person's advice is wrong, but was perhaps presented in the wrong way. Based on what you typed, I would say they were sincere but probably not fully aware of your vulnerable condidiotn. We are in spiritual warfare. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Eph 6:12
That is not to say that your anxiety is the result of demonic powers. In fact a believer can not be 'possessed' by demons. They certainly can be oppressed. Be thankful for this event. Thank God in all circumstances. Thank Him that this was brought to the surface for a reason. The reason is for you to meet it and face it.

Your baptism has NOTHING to do with whether you will face spiritual attack or not. There simply isn't any scriptural basis for that. It is always important to know that our Lord faced temptation directly from Satan himself. And He armed Himself with nothing more than what we have available to us today. The written word.
I would recommend studying Ehesians 6 on the full armor of God.
Bath your ife in prayer and the study of God's Word. Believing God's Word is the way to see it effectually work in your life.

[Murray]

Depression in a way was the best thing that ever happened to me. It caused to to turn to god and over time I became more and more and more devoted. Now my life is beyond comprehension of good. Ever since I have completely devoted my life to the best of my abilities to the lord life keeps getting better and better. Much more positive outlook on life.

By the way, one thing That has truly helped me is physical fitness. Most bodybuilders and powerlifters are devout Christians and it is interesting to read how they got into it, most of the reasons are depression. Physical fitness gives you a sense of pride in yourself and gives you a sense of self accomplishment and you are serving god by honoring the temple (your body) that he has given you.

[narnia4]

Depression in a way was the best thing that ever happened to me. It caused to to turn to god and over time I became more and more and more devoted. Now my life is beyond comprehension of good. Ever since I have completely devoted my life to the best of my abilities to the lord life keeps getting better and better. Much more positive outlook on life.

By the way, one thing That has truly helped me is physical fitness. Most bodybuilders and powerlifters are devout Christians and it is interesting to read how they got into it, most of the reasons are depression. Physical fitness gives you a sense of pride in yourself and gives you a sense of self accomplishment and you are serving god by honoring the temple (your body) that he has given you.

There are certainly many things that can point to God, depression being one of thing. All things work together to the glory of God... you know I don't think we (or at least I) think about that enough. We give it lip service, but do we really believe it? ALL things work together to the glory of God. Sometimes Christians sound kind of flippant about it like a way to write off your feelings or suffering... and it is tough, but God wants to be a part of your life.

I've always been interested in fitness, although I tend to focus more on distance running (stamina and agility I like to try to keep up) and comparatively little weight training. Do you have a source on most bodybuilders and powerlifters being devout Christians? I have noticed that there does seem to be enough Christian gyms and stuff, it seems like a nice little niche for Christians with a common interest there. And you know that's a nice way to help if you're sad/depressed, it might not solve everything but if you have or can find a small group of strong Christian friends with common interests its just a real blessing.

[Reactionary]

Depression in a way was the best thing that ever happened to me. It caused to to turn to god and over time I became more and more and more devoted. Now my life is beyond comprehension of good. Ever since I have completely devoted my life to the best of my abilities to the lord life keeps getting better and better. Much more positive outlook on life.

There is truth in what you write. I never suffered from depression, but I experienced a nasty chain of events (involving mostly malnutrition) that caused some mental problems to me. Among other things I became aware of my mortality, which motivated me to seek the truth about who I am and what my purpose is. It happened a year ago and it took me about 9 months to recover (I still have a few bad days here and there, but I know the cause so I deal with it easily), but when I reflect, I realize that it happened at the right time. I was on my way to becoming agnostic, but to be honest I had never thought about the big questions, so I guess this event was necessary to shake me up and return me to the right path.

Since then, my outlook on life has become more positive as well - I'm more grateful for everything I have, and I don't fret about trivial everyday issues that so many people around me find stressful.

[Murray]

Depression in a way was the best thing that ever happened to me. It caused to to turn to god and over time I became more and more and more devoted. Now my life is beyond comprehension of good. Ever since I have completely devoted my life to the best of my abilities to the lord life keeps getting better and better. Much more positive outlook on life.

By the way, one thing That has truly helped me is physical fitness. Most bodybuilders and powerlifters are devout Christians and it is interesting to read how they got into it, most of the reasons are depression. Physical fitness gives you a sense of pride in yourself and gives you a sense of self accomplishment and you are serving god by honoring the temple (your body) that he has given you.

There are certainly many things that can point to God, depression being one of thing. All things work together to the glory of God... you know I don't think we (or at least I) think about that enough. We give it lip service, but do we really believe it? ALL things work together to the glory of God. Sometimes Christians sound kind of flippant about it like a way to write off your feelings or suffering... and it is tough, but God wants to be a part of your life.

I've always been interested in fitness, although I tend to focus more on distance running (stamina and agility I like to try to keep up) and comparatively little weight training. Do you have a source on most bodybuilders and powerlifters being devout Christians? I have noticed that there does seem to be enough Christian gyms and stuff, it seems like a nice little niche for Christians with a common interest there. And you know that's a nice way to help if you're sad/depressed, it might not solve everything but if you have or can find a small group of strong Christian friends with common interests its just a real blessing.

http://ABCbodybuilding.com
http://www.christianpowerlifting.com

One of the greatest ever was also a christian, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
If you ever get a chance to talk to a professional body builder you should, most of them are extraordinarily nice people, and one thing I always see at my gym is alot of the serious lifters always saying a prayer before they're workout, kissing their cross before the do a big life, pointing in the sky when they get a big left ect...

[Murray]

when you type in "atheist bodybuilder" on google, on of the first things to come up is "why are so many bodybuilders religous?"

[jlay]

First let me state that I am into fitness. I am not a body builder. And there is a big difference in the two.

Body building is a sport littered with corruption. People who are obsessed, not with fitness, but a twisted self-image. Having been trained by a former 2nd place Mr. Tennessee, I am quite familiar with the perversions and drug use that goes on within this sport. Body building and power lifting are not healthy. They put ridiculous stress on the body. Power lifters suffer from a number of health problems. Hernia, joint deterioration. Body building is over run with steriod abuse. Competitive body builders engage in healthy dieting for a while, and then switch to unhealthy starving and dehydration.

i don't know how anyone can say that most body builders or power lifters are devout Christians. I'm not saying they aren't. I wouldn't, and don't know of any proof for either. It's an assinine statement. Someone kissing a cross or pointing up before or after a lift is, well, IMO, stupid. Sorry if that offends.

Fitness, IMO, can have a LOT to do with mental condition.

One of the greatest ever was also a christian, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

steriod abuser by admission. Wreckless sexual deviant most of his life. Adulterer. And, I've never known of any genuine Christian testimony from this man. Where did you get your info?

[Murray]

Powerlifting and bodybuilding are also 2 extremely separate things.

And perhaps you do not realize that professional bodybuilders that compete take drug tests? I've never heard of Arnold taking steriods, I've read a ton about him and never I have ever heard anything about steroids, he made mistakes in his life no doubt, mistakes which probably haunt him. You also make the mistake of saying that only bad people fall into adutury, which is completely false. Sin works it's way into most people, it is not an instantaneous thing, and he made the mistake of allowing those choices to slowly build up into what he did.

Sterioders are cheater IMO, who deserve no respect, and most powerlifters who earn their accomplishments think the same way.

You lump all powerlifters with a disgraceful few, that is like lumping all Christians with jim jones.

And most of them are not self obsessed and I know a few have even let their body go to partial flab for a few months for missions to africa. Self pride and overly self proud are 2 separate things.

[Murray]

Powerlifting and bodybuilding are also 2 extremely separate things.

And perhaps you do not realize that professional bodybuilders that compete take drug tests? I've never heard of Arnold taking steriods, I've read a ton about him and never I have ever heard anything about steroids, he made mistakes in his life no doubt, mistakes which probably haunt him. You also make the mistake of saying that only bad people fall into adultry, which is completely false. Sin works it's way into most people, it is not an instantaneous thing, and he made the mistake of allowing those choices to slowly build up into what he did.

Sterioders are cheater IMO, who deserve no respect, and most powerlifters who earn their accomplishments think the same way.

You lump all powerlifters with a disgraceful few, that is like lumping all Christians with jim jones.

And most of them are not self obsessed and I know a few have even let their body go to partial flab for a few months for missions to africa. Self pride and overly self proud are 2 separate things.