A question for Christians...

[Anonymous]

I apologize ahead of time for upsetting anyone, or making anyone feel bad. I'm probably in the wrong place, but I've needed to ask this for a long time, but I don't know where to go.
First of all, is self-destruction a sin? Something such as cutting... Does God understand that it is something that helps get rid of pain, and is an alternitive for suicide?
Also, is suicide a sin? Would you go straight to hell? Is there anything you could do, or a special prayer or preperation thing you could do, before commiting suicide, that would save you soul? Is it possible to still go to heaven?
I have more questions, but they are too deep to ask all in one thread. Thanks to anyone who will answer.

[August]

Hi Marie, welcome to the forum.

Trust me, you are not in the wrong place. If God lead you to come here, who are we to say that you are in the wrong place?

First of all, is self-destruction a sin? Something such as cutting... Does God understand that it is something that helps get rid of pain, and is an alternitive for suicide?

Also, is suicide a sin? Would you go straight to hell? Is there anything you could do, or a special prayer or preperation thing you could do, before commiting suicide, that would save you soul? Is it possible to still go to heaven?

I assume you are asking these questions on behalf of yourself? It does not really matter, since the answer is the same.

I won't presume to understand anyone's circumstances that leads them to the point where they feel it necessary to even contemplate doing these things to their own self. Before we get to the direct answers to yuor questions, I would like to say that the things you mentioned are radical reactions to something that has happened and caused great unhappiness. The cause of the unhappiness should be addressed, and the person should not take it upon him or herself to punish themselves. If God can forgive us for the most serious of sins, why can we not forgive ourselves? It may sound cliched and hollow to someone desperate, but my first advice is to find the origin of the problem and work through that. Forget for the moment about punising oneself, and concentrate, focus on the problem. Analyze it, research it and then put it in your own context, take an outsiders view for a second, and then internalize the solution.

Most importantly, know that God loves you no matter what, and all He asks is that you love Him back. Punishing oneself is not something that God would want to see, He wants to see us happy and at peace with Him and ourselves. Our bodies are temples of God. Remember that we are not bodies, we are spirits that live in bodies, and this body is co-inhabited by the Holy Spirit, so in destroying our bodies, we are also destroying the place where the Holy Spirit lives. We are made by God, and he alone should have the power over our lives. Even though you have a choice in the matter, consider that God is the one that ultimately decides where you spend eternity. We should therefore respect His jurisdiction over our bodies too.

God made the ultimate sacrifice so that we don't have to accept punishment of any sort, much less self-inflicted, with suicide as the ultimate self-punishment. One should not reject His grace by trying to meet out punishment to oneself.

“Your life is precious, because to God you are precious.”

Zephaniah 3:17

I strongly recommend visiting this website too:
http://www.walking-wounded.net/html/chr ... cidal.html[/quote]

[Felgar]

Most importantly, know that God loves you no matter what, and all He asks is that you love Him back. Punishing oneself is not something that God would want to see, He wants to see us happy and at peace with Him and ourselves. Our bodies are temples of God.

Yup, I agree completely.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

I think as far as being self-destructive is concerned, this is a direct attack from Satan. Realize that by harming oneself, they have made the choice to walk away from the purpose that God has for them. I can personally attest to the fact that if we step out in faith and accept Jesus, understanding that He has a plan for our lives, and if we submit to that plan, then the result has more meaning and more impact than anything we can imagine.

It seems to me that being self-destructive can come from hopelessness and from lack of meaning on one's life. Jesus provides both the hope and the meaning - we need only turn to him.

John 4:13-14
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

[Anonymous]

hmmm... Well by what you have said, I am guessing that suicide and self-destruction is a sin. But even if you know it is bad, and want to stop, but can't? (for self-destruction) But I do understand what you were saying about the body being "a temple of God" But if God wants us to be happy, then why is the world so terrible? If that is the case, then why is it better to be dead than alive? I picked up a book a couple weeks ago about Christianity. I just thought I'd flip through it. I read the back, and it said something about how we are to worship God and how he should be our entire lives. I do not understand why we are supposed to worship him, if he has not answered any prayers.
It used to be that when things were bad, I would cry, and even try praying for things to get better. Today, I can't even cry. I feel dead already, only I am still alive. Things only got worse. There are so many problems that are so deep within my family, and my own life. There are so many things to think about, and when I think about them, it is overwhelming. It almost hurts me physically to think. My mother has had an entire life of pain, and I know she has prayed and prayed. Still, nothing has improved. What do I have to worship God for? Pain? I don't see how anyone can actually make it to heaven when they are under such circumstances. I do believe in God and Jesus (though I've never been sure which one to pray to...), but I don't think he really cares. And if he does, then he is not very good at helping, or maybe he just chooses to watch people hurting.

[Felgar]

What do I have to worship God for? Pain? I don't see how anyone can actually make it to heaven when they are under such circumstances. I do believe in God and Jesus

To understand salvation is to necessarily praise the Lord. We praise Him because we love Him. And we love Him because we have been redeemed by the sacrifice that He made for us. That is the price referenced in the Corinthian's passage.

I'm not sure if you have it, but "The Purpose Driven Life" is a book by Rick Warren that I feel could be a blessing to you. I think you should read it.

[August]

Marie,

The questions you ask are all good questions, and we will continue to attempt to answer them as good as as we can. However, I would strongly advise anyone in this position to seek personal help, because the anonymous mechanism on a website is not suited for providing the type of personal interaction needed.

But even if you know it is bad, and want to stop, but can't? (for self-destruction)

It is like any addiction, and has to go through a process of healing. Every time one chooses to do something bad, it is by choice, not by neccesity, so we can choose not to do it.

The following steps are generic, but may help:

1. You need to want to change. The ingredient most crucial to changing is motivation, the desire to change.
2. The main sources of the motivation to quit an addiction are the things that are important for your life. Work, family, pride, religion, health,- any and all values that contradict the urge to be.
3. Improve your skills and your confidence. Learning to do things well, to deal better with problem areas, and to see yourself as a competent person are crucial links in overcoming addiction.
4. Invest in the key building blocks of your life- friends, family, job, career, hobbies, healthful activities. Having the ingredients of a successful life in place is the best antidote to addiction. These things give you the reasons not to be addicted, the motivation to cease addiction, and the strength to quit and stay unhooked.
5. The strongest answer to addiction is the community. Belonging to a supportive social group — one with pro-social values that do not support addictive excesses - makes it unlikely to make you addicted. Social support is also useful for overcoming addiction, provided the support focuses on something more than the addiction. Real community reinforces the entire fabric of your life, where as support predicated on sharing an addiction hold to the danger of becoming a preoccupation not unlike the addiction itself.

But if God wants us to be happy, then why is the world so terrible?

The world is terrible despite God, not because of Him. There cannot be true love if it is forced, so we get to choose. Those who choose not to love God are responsible for the terrible world, along with the father of evil. God created the possibility for evil and terrible things, but not the things themselves. I have more on this, but it's already a long post. Let me know if we need to discuss this further.

If that is the case, then why is it better to be dead than alive?

I guess you meant it the other way around, i.e. why is live worth living in this terrible world? Your life is a great gift, you only have one life to live here on earth, to experience all that is earthly life. It is also your one opportunity to make a commitment to God from free choice.

I do not understand why we are supposed to worship him, if he has not answered any prayers.

Marie, do you know why God put you on earth? Do you have a close personal relationship with Him? Have you ever bowed down and made a 100% commitment to God? Have you ever just praised Him, without blaming or asking? I'm sorry for the questions, but many times we ask for things, even as Christians, that does not fir with God's plan or purpose for us, and He cannot give us what we ask for. Also, you have to remember that "No" is also an answer, it won't always be "yes", since we as humans cannot know what is best for us from God's perspective. Know ing God's purpose for you will help you focus prayer on that, and not just our own wishes and desires.

It used to be that when things were bad, I would cry, and even try praying for things to get better. Today, I can't even cry. I feel dead already, only I am still alive.

Once again, I can't presume to know what would bring you to this point. I can only offer you this, you are not dead. I would recommend getting personal attention to your situation. Yopu don't say where you are from, if you want, send me a pm and I can help you find someone in your area.

There are so many problems that are so deep within my family, and my own life. There are so many things to think about, and when I think about them, it is overwhelming.

Of course it can be overwhelming, but God does not want you to carry the burden on your own. Not only does He help you carry the burden, but He also instructs fellow Christians to help each other in these times of difficulty. We are all here to help each other.

My mother has had an entire life of pain, and I know she has prayed and prayed. Still, nothing has improved.

I don't know the specifics, but can't comment too much. However, sometimes God gives us an answer which we don't want to hear, like getting out of an abusive relationship even if we love the person.

What do I have to worship God for? Pain? I don't see how anyone can actually make it to heaven when they are under such circumstances.

Read the book of Job in the Bible, and see how he suffered while still worshipping God. Sometimes we feel that God has something against us, otherwise why would He let bad things happen to us? God has His own motives, and we can ask for His strength and love to guide us through that. I heard a good saying once: You don't know that God is all you need, until God is all you have.

I do believe in God and Jesus (though I've never been sure which one to pray to...), but I don't think he really cares. And if he does, then he is not very good at helping, or maybe he just chooses to watch people hurting.

Marie, you are obviously hurting and angry at God, and it happens to all of us sometimes. I can see from your writing that you are confused and want help. Pray to God in the name of Jesus to intercede in your life, know that it will happen, and accept it.[/quote]

[Kurieuo]

My sister has also cut herself in the past being unable to properly cope with certain pains in her life, although I believe that has changed today. I I too can understand where you're coming from, and to share something that broke me out of a suicide spell, it was coming across a passage written by Paul at a time when he was in chains. He was deciding whether to just give up and allow his life to be taken for Christ by those persecuting him (something he would have preferred), or whether to strive on. It deeply encouraged me just knowing someone like the Apostle Paul felt in a similar way I did. He writes:

• 20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me. (Philippians 1)

Seeing this passage opened my eyes up to a purpose. I could stay here and try to help others see the light I had come to see (as Paul had done), or I could end my life and pray God would understand my pain. Being here today obviously reveals I chose the latter, but thankfully God also protected me from myself during the two main times I tried. As time has gone on, and although I never would have thought it at the time, it seems like a phase I went through which lasted several years. I've also noticed it is a phase that others seem to go through. So whether you are given hope or not here, I would at least advise waiting it out a couple of years before commiting yourself to the option of suicide. If it is a phase, it will certainly pass. What can it hurt?

Now something else I'd like to briefly touch on is if there is no God, then there really isn't any meaning to whether you commit suicide or not. But if God does exist, and He created us, then we don't just have a responsibility to ourselves, but a responsibility to our Creator. If we are created for a purpose in this life, then it would seem foolish for us to end our lives before knowing that purpose...

Kurieuo.

[Anonymous]

Marie, do you know why God put you on earth?

Not exactly, but I'm guessing that it was to praise him, or serve.


You've both made good points, and definately given me some things to think about. There are still things that I do not understand, like why prayers go unanswered. (unless that's an answer....) And some get help, some don't.... As long as I am sinning (which, I think I am) it will be hard. But if you become a Christian, then what exactly must you do? I live with my family, and we do not go to church a lot. And if you end up sinning, while hoping God is .. in your heart.. or something, then are you not Christian anymore? Or, at least until you beg forgiveness? ((sorry for all the questions))

[Kurieuo]

Marie, do you know why God put you on earth?

Not exactly, but I'm guessing that it was to praise him, or serve.


You've both made good points, and definately given me some things to think about. There are still things that I do not understand, like why prayers go unanswered. (unless that's an answer....) And some get help, some don't....

Even Christians battle with these questions, and I think it safe to say that every Christian at some point experiences their prayers going unanswered, and wonders why God isn't helping at some point with a particular issue. I think it is because while God loves us and will be by our side, He is not going to constantly intervene as such would override the purpose of His creating our world.

Irenaeus (c. 130-c. 202 AD), an early Christian Father, saw two stages to God's creation of human beings. In the first stage, Irenaeus saw human beings as being brought into existence as immature intelligent creatures with the capacity for immense moral and spiritual growth and development. The second stage of creation he believed consisted of gradually being transformed through their own free responses into "children of God." As such, God's purpose in creating this world was not to construct a hedonistic paradise whose inhabitants would experience a maximum of pleasure and minimum of pain. Rather this world is to be viewed as a place of "soul making," where free beings can still enjoy life's pleasures, while having to grapple with life's pitfalls in order to become be furnished into "children of God." Now while Irenaeus appears to get a little extreme with some of his concepts, I think he hits the nail right on with all I've mentioned of him here.

Why do we tend to admire and respect people who have been through a lot, and have come out the other side? I think it is because we see their character has been tried, and their victory shows a real strenth of character. Spiritual growth and maturing appears to be possible because of pain and suffering. As a parent would know, there are many cases where allowing pain and suffering to occur in their child's life is beneficial in order to bring about some greater good, or because there is some sufficient reason for allowing it. In James 1:2-4 we are told perseverance through trials matures us and makes us complete. Additionally, 1 Peter 1:6-7 acknowledges some as suffering all sorts of grief, because they are being refined as though by fire, to prove their faith is pure and genuine towards God.

God may therefore permit the process of suffering in our lives to mature us or to test us, or for some overriding end. C.S. Lewis on the death of his wife discovered this process can be very painful, and reflecting upon these concepts of a good God allowing pain and suffering mused:

The terrible thing is that a perfectly good God is… hardly less formidable than a Cosmic Sadist. The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. A cruel man might be bribed—might grow tired of his vile sport—might have temporary fit of mercy, as alcoholics have fits of sobriety. But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless.

What do people mean when they say, “I am not afraid of God because I know He is good”? Have they never even been to a dentist?

Within Christianity, it is believed this process of maturing and testing will come to an end when this temporary world passes away. We aren't meant to experience a heaven on earth. Yet, God promises to set up a new world wherein He will dwell with His people, and "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4)

Kurieuo.

[Kurieuo]

As long as I am sinning (which, I think I am) it will be hard. But if you become a Christian, then what exactly must you do? I live with my family, and we do not go to church a lot. And if you end up sinning, while hoping God is .. in your heart.. or something, then are you not Christian anymore? Or, at least until you beg forgiveness? ((sorry for all the questions))

Marie, I'd recommend taking a look at the page at http://www.711.net/gospel/doyouknow.html for brief introduction as to what it means to become a Christian and especially how to become one. We are all imperfect and will continue to be in this life, therefore it is not possible we can be saved by our own strength. This is why the path God opened to us was one out of mercy where our sins are washed away, which enables us to have a relationship with a holy God on a personal level rather, than on an impersonal legal level. Anyway, check out the page.

Kurieuo.

[Anonymous]

thank you.

[Forge]

If you're the more logically minded type of person (like me) Try looking at apologetics with an open heart. You might be surprised.