Dallas,
Your profile info says that you're 17. It wasn't long ago when I was that age as well. Problems that you describe are not uncommon among late teens, especially in these times. Young people are under pressure - there is always this invisible standard, invented by the consumerist/hedonist society, that you allegedly have to satisfy. There is the age when you're supposed to get drunk for the first time, smoke your first cigarette, have your first kiss, first sex, first relationship, etc. Otherwise you're considered a weirdo by the "society", but the very people who may mock you for being such, are only doing so in order to hide their own insecurities. There is a considerable number of people, like you, or me, or anyone else who may recognize him/herself in a similar situation, who just don't function that way - which is good, because this standard of superficiality and "live-every-day-as-if-it's-the-last-one" mentality, isn't right. Now the main thing here is, that you have to build your self-confidence. You need it to outgrow any standards or prejudices made by the society (as those change every once in a while) and focus on the eternal Standard, provided by God. The truth never grows old, and if you live it proudly and consistently, believe it, people
will appreciate you for it.
OK, I digressed a bit. About friendship... don't believe everything you see. Things may seem ideal on the first sight, but I assure you that many "friendships" are no stronger than those you've developed. I used to ask myself the same thing, I wondered why I could feel a certain distance between me and the people I've communicated with, and then I observed interpersonal relationships between others, and found that it isn't much different between them either. People are afraid to open up, because they fear you may find out that they don't satisfy the "standards" I've mentioned above. At least that's my view on the situation.
Regarding girls... You're only 17, it's too early to expect anything serious IMO, there are couples who make it at that age, but such are rare. I understand your loneliness, I'm single too and I sometimes feel lonely as well. Do things that you enjoy, find a new hobby, meet new people, just
keep yourself busy. Don't spend too much time alone with your thoughts, because they may drag you down if you do so. Another positive of being active is, that you may find a new (girl)friend...
I hope I've helped. If you need anymore advice, send me a PM and I'll do my best to find time for you. Good luck.
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