Big Decisions

[MarcusOfLycia]

I may have mentioned some of this in other posts, so I'll try not to repeat too much.

In middle school and high school, I envisioned a career in ministry or music (or probably both). I thought of myself as someone who would write books and music, lead musicians, and even preach or speak. I job shadowed my dad (an engineer), and while I didn't mind it, it wasn't quite what I was looking for. I job shadowed my pastor a few years later and things seemed to click.

I was talked out of pursuing any sort of religious or musical education by two things. First, a Bible school that I started at when I first entered college gave me more doubt than faith, and it took years (and this forum helped tremendously!) to get a good grounding in why I believed what I believed. Second, my parents talked me into pursuing something that would pay for the student loans I'd need to go to college and help support a family. At the time, I wasn't the most outgoing guy which would have made a ministry or music degree a terrifying prospect. I liked computers and programming, so I jumped for a computer science degree.

I don't regret the decision entirely, but I know its not where I am supposed to be and am reminded of it multiple times a day in different forms.

I'm starting to get much more serious about music (waking up early every day to practice and starting a music writers/players meeting), and ministry (starting an apologetics class with people from a bunch of different churches!)

Has anyone else had a similar experience with any advice to offer? I'm convinced this is the direction I should go, but I'm afraid to pursue it. It will likely mean pay cuts and a lot of uncomfortable experiences. I'm willing to work part time and go to seminary as one option... or just ease into another position over time. Just looking for some advice I guess. And I wanted to thank everyone here for playing a big role in my transformation from a weak Christian who feared apologetics to a weak Christian who at least knows why they believe what they believe.

[jlay]

Has anyone else had a similar experience with any advice to offer? I'm convinced this is the direction I should go, but I'm afraid to pursue it. It will likely mean pay cuts and a lot of uncomfortable experiences. I'm willing to work part time and go to seminary as one option... or just ease into another position over time. Just looking for some advice I guess. And I wanted to thank everyone here for playing a big role in my transformation from a weak Christian who feared apologetics to a weak Christian who at least knows why they believe what they believe.

My experience is a little different, but I've certainly faced those difficulties.

If you KNOW you are not where you are supposed to be, then perhaps God is speaking to you.
The issue is fear. You need to discern whether this is fear of man, or aprehension. Aprehension could be God again speaking to your spirit. God chastens those He loves. If you are called by God toanything and you fail to respond to it, you are likely going to experience chastening. That could be a lack of peace, or interuption of fellowship with God.
Fear of man, well, is fear of man. It is real, and probably the greatest hinderance to minsitry. God prepares all the good works we are to walk in. That is where exercising faith comes in. If God has called you into it, He will provide. That doesn't mean there won't be sacrifice, only that God will not take you into something that He won't equip you for. By the end of Paul's minsitry God had provided Paul the peace to die for the cause. That is a peace that can only come from God. But that is exactly what Paul needed. Often, we want the peace up front. But it just doesn't work that way. God calls, we respond, peace comes.

You might find some counsel by reading testimonies of people who have stepped in faith into various ministries. Also, I would warn you against following modern definitions of ministry. Bart can offer you a lot of insight on this. Some of the greatest ministers I know, have normal secular jobs.

[MarcusOfLycia]

Thanks for the feedback!

I suspect that for a while I will hold a 'secular' job as well. I'm working towards a career in music of some kind. Apologetics, history, theology, and English literature all fascinate me as well and I've learned recently that I really like leading/teaching (I've been a math tutor, and like I said I'm starting an apologetics class). If my ministry were to be one of several things I did, I would not have a complaint. Having a full-time ministry would be great, too.

I definitely appreciate the Computer Science degree I have, the opportunities it has provided, and the work I have now (though I would much rather work for a smaller company). The logic has been very helpful in a lot of areas of my life, and I still like building software (and websites, especially). Getting good with software has helped make maintaining and writing music on my machine much easier. I've known my whole life (almost) that I wanted to do something music-related for a career. I'm pretty bad at worrying about things like this, but recently I've had peace about it, more than normal anyway.