Just died..

[Tina]

My foster dad just died....I don't feel sad that he's gone but sad for the people here who love him and are morning.....why do I not mourn the same? Why am I not really upset about it? Wheres my compassion...........does this make me a terrible person? ..........( he just died as in he's still in the living room and family are here mourning.......I feel terrible about myself......

[B. W.]

My foster dad just died....I don't feel sad that he's gone but sad for the people here who love him and are morning.....why do I not mourn the same? Why am I not really upset about it? Wheres my compassion...........does this make me a terrible person? ..........( he just died as in he's still in the living room and family are here mourning.......I feel terrible about myself......

No, please Tina, do not feel bad and do not condemn yoursel if you do not morn like others. This often happens with family members and is a normal experience. Grief may come later but sometimes a numbness sets in for a while then you might later morn - or not. Please realize, what you feel is normal and says nothing about your character.

God Bless!

[Danieltwotwenty]

Hi Tina

I have never dealt with a family member dying but my thoughts and prayers will be with you in this difficult time.


Dan

[neo-x]

Tina, I have the same thing at times...I have only cried on 2 funerals (attended about 2 dozens) in my life, one of my pastor and the other of my grandfather, but when my mom's brother died, i didn't mourn, nor did at times when someone close in the family died...Its a strange feeling and I cant help but have guilt of not being sorry or feeling sorry but I don't know. Thats the way it is, though I do know that ppl have lost someone and I try to console them. So if you are not feeling that sorry, try consoling the ppl who are, you will feel better.

[wrain62]

During my grandmother's I only cried by myself because I did not have the great feeling of greif. Then I was caught and now my family thinks I cried because of grief and it is fustrating.

[jlay]

Everyone processes grief differently. I've seen people go into hysteria. I'm pretty stoic. When my father-n-law died I wasn't overwhelmed with grief. He had a great walk with the Lord and had suffered for many years. It was actually a bit of a relief. I didn't cry till the played taps at his service. That was two years ago. But at times, I will suddenly be hit with a sense of loss, missing him dearly. My daughter was much the same way. They were extremely close. She never showed much emotion. But one day I found her in her closest crying her eyes out. I didn't have to say anything. I just picked her up and held her for what seemed like 20 minutes. We never said a word.

[Canuckster1127]

Tina,

What you're experiencing is probably shock. It's a defense of the body and mind that allows us to cope with things that are overwhelming.

I don't know what your relationship with your foster dad was. If it was complicated with some difficulty it might even mean that some of that is entering in.

It is very, very normal to be feeling numb right now. It's normal to feel that way even between now and the funeral. Many, many people don't have the ability to begin to feel and process the intense feelings that come with something until after everything is done and then there's no demands. If the feelings don't begin to process by then, then it might be good to talk with someone or find a grief group to help move through things.

Don't beat yourself up. Be gentle with yourself and with others. Give others and yourself grace during this time and when things have settled down and you need help, feel free to post here or pm me and we'll do what we can.

[CallMeDave]

My foster dad just died....I don't feel sad that he's gone but sad for the people here who love him and are morning.....why do I not mourn the same? Why am I not really upset about it? Wheres my compassion...........does this make me a terrible person? ..........( he just died as in he's still in the living room and family are here mourning.......I feel terrible about myself......

Grief often comes at different times . Maybe you are still in the shock stage. Im sure you will show grief at some point in the future , perhaps when you see pictures of him and you or when you hear a song that reminds you of him. During this immediate time, it would be good for you to offer comfort to those who have reached the grieving point .. and when the time comes, let them offer comfort to you when you get there. Peace.

[Tina]

All of you are so helpful and caring, I thank you so much!

[StMonicaGuideMe]

Tina, my condolences! I hope you are mending relatively well. Allow yourself the chance to grieve. I have lost a parent at a young age thus I can sympathize. You are most likely in the state of shock, or were when you posted this, and maybe now you have moved into another stage of grief. Allow it to be organic -- don't force or hide anything. And pray, pray endlessly. We will all pray for you too, I guarantee it! <3

[Tina]

Tina, my condolences! I hope you are mending relatively well. Allow yourself the chance to grieve. I have lost a parent at a young age thus I can sympathize. You are most likely in the state of shock, or were when you posted this, and maybe now you have moved into another stage of grief. Allow it to be organic -- don't force or hide anything. And pray, pray endlessly. We will all pray for you too, I guarantee it! <3

Thank you =>