Hmm, Jac, I really do not think what I wrote was intended to address your points in particular. My only contention was that masturbating is not always a sin. Of course I'll take exceptions to that. The point about love is something that should not be taken alone but I don't think we can automatically label masturbation as sin too. The context matters greatly in any case. I do wanted to point out the element of love as something that should be factored in when it comes to exploring the issue. It is something that we can not alienate where it might be a genuine cause. Though I would not presume to overrule anything out of love i.e sex outside of marriage, as okay. why? because that would not be consistent with the rest of scriptures but I also find it very hard to assume that Masturbation is a sin if you really love someone, under the right conditions that is. The act of thinking and the act to happen physically, these are two different things. One may lead to the other but one doesn't actually equate the other. Not in all cases, anyway.
suppose this girl you really love is married? Or what if you are married and the girl you are thinking about isn't your wife (but suppose you really love her!)?
Of course that's a sin. But I think you either have gotten the wrong impression or I may have given the wrong impression but regardless of it, if you look at the OP, the boy was having trouble, as its coming to him naturally at an age where it may be more because of his hormones kicking in rather than lust. Not that any of this can be called as an excuse to sin, like pre-marital sex or anything for that matter. But it is vital to approach the issue with gentle open mindedness, so to speak, rather than start labeling him a sinner and making him guilty (which was Gman's post that implied such), where we know that he is most likely to masturbate through that age. The only difference is if we convince him its a sin no exceptions and if he got a heart which is guilt conscious more than necessary; it will be a hard time for him and he will go though mental anguish, fighting and doubting and probably cursing himself for not being able to resist the desire and in his mind sinning and sinning often, labeling himself as a sinner more often and even thinking himself "less holy" than others around him, until he gets married or has sex.
I'd just caution against this line of thought. The presence or lack of love doesn't make a sexual act good or bad. What makes it good or bad is the psycho-social context in which it occurs.
I am aware Jac of what you are trying to caution against and I agree with perhaps an exception. I may not fully agree on the point of love to be totally left out of the equation. It may be left out if we are going to brand the deed of sex outside marriage or pre-marital sex as sin or not - as in that context love would be irrelevant but on a more subtle point, when it comes to masturbation I really do not see the objection in this particular case of love.
To be frank I do not think God is going to be angry because you are thinking intimately about someone you love. Unless you are thinking outside of love,that is rape or forced sex or even paid sex, OR you are thinking in love about someone's wife or someone other than the girl you love - then Yes I would agree with you that it is the kind of thing Jesus warned to not think, as it would be a sin.
I think this leads to one more important thing. I think sex without love is also a sin even if it is in the marriage bed. What if someone is having sex with his wife he doesn't love and the wife doesn't love him (careful, I am not saying he or she love someones else , they just do not love each other, lets suppose they had a arrange marriage), but they seem to cope with with their dislike without showing, and rather than going out and having sex, it is just better to do it with your "lawful wedded husband/wife" with whom you are a complete stranger at heart, but still you are married, so its okay and not worth the risk to cheat, right?
I find it as sinful as premarital sex. Your thoughts would be more than welcome.
only because i felt like if i didn't i"d break down and explode 
