Wise Christ - my new poem

[1over137]

Wise Christ

Christ came as a poor, but indeed He was not
He embraced all wisdom, spotted every plot
Pharisee had prepared, tried to find a blame
Their efforts were futile, on them be the shame.

Christ taught people wisely, what is right and wrong,
what pleases his Father, hope also this song
Nobody is wiser, no one has such glory
Being loved by Father, no more need to worry.

P.S.: I just have asked one friend whether he can make a song from it.

[Furstentum Liechtenstein]

Very nice!

May I make these suggestions?

Christ came as a poor,

This sounds odd in English. You may want to rephrase: Christ came as a pauper - or - Christ came as a poor man ...or something else.

Being loved by Father

This also sounds odd in English because you are missing the article the: ''Being loved by the Father''...

Of course, you are entitled to poetic license so if you want to leave your poem as it is, I'll still like it.

FL

[1over137]

Thanks for suggestions. I will think about them.

I change this:

Nobody is wiser, no one has such glory
am loved by the Father, no more need to worry.

[1over137]

Hey, FL, I fixed it.

Wise Christ

Christ came and was poor, but indeed He was not
He embraced all wisdom, spotted every plot
Pharisee had prepared, tried to find a blame
Their efforts were futile, on them be the shame.

Christ taught people wisely, what is right and wrong,
what pleases his Father, hope also this song
Nobody is wiser, no one has such glory
Am loved by the Father, no more need to worry.

---
Thank you for your suggestions.

[GreyDeSilvisanctis]

This is nice. Hana.

Praise be to our God and Savior.

~Grey

[1over137]

This is nice. Hana.

Praise be to our God and Savior.

~Grey

Thank you.