My Testimony

[KARAN]

My Testimony
My life is a testimony to HIS power of deliverance. Born in an orthodox Hindu family; grew up in those traditions and culture including idol worship of all kinds- Worship of idols made out of metal, stones, wood and paper. Meticulous in all rituals and traditions. Days have gone by. I took to drinking alcohol in a very young age of 16 itself. Started smoking too immediately thereafter. Soon I found a job in Air Force and obviously I began drinking more and like a fish; became a chain smoker and picked up the new habit of chewing raw tobacco ( Zarda ) to get a faster and stronger kick. Years rolled by. I became an addict to alcohol and tobacco. I have also begun to abuse some of the across the counter drugs to pull a few hours sleep and to take care of my depression. All these habits eventually broke me down financially. I started borrowing left, right and centre to pay for my addictions and at times steal money from friends and colleagues. I got married and immediately there after got discharged from Air Force. With the grace of GOD I could get a decent job in civil side with good salary. This situation further enabled me to drink more, smoke more and chew more of tobacco. In the mean time, I became the father of 2 sons. Even the children could not change my habits- I continued drink, smoke and borrowed to meet the expenses. I had no time for my wife or for my children. My priority was my addiction. Time passed by. Life became miserable. Hardly people will lend money. It became difficult to pay for my habits. I found that my family is a burden to me. I thought if I could get rid of them may be that whatever I earn could take care of my habits. When this thought became stronger, I deserted my wife and my 2 sons and started living separately; started spending not only all my earnings but also borrowed heavily to take care of my addiction. I have even started misusing office money to cater to my addiction. But somewhere in the corner of my heart I had a feeling that I am ruining my life. How long will I be able to sustain all these habits? How long will my friends lend me money?? Will they not start asking me to refund the money??? If so what will I do??? All my thoughts came true and my friends started pressing me to repay the money that they have lent. As I could not pay back they started humiliating me in public and in front of others. Pressure also started building to repay the money taken out from office. Friends, just imagine the pathetic condition that I would have been in such a situation; No one to support, cannot give up the habits, unbearable pressure to pay back the money, insulted and humiliated and in fear of losing the job I could not find a solution. I therefore took the extreme step of committing suicide and I made a serious attempt to kill myself but failed miserably as I failed in my life.

At this crucial stage of my life one of colleagues advised me to pray and to pray to JESUS to get rid of myself from the horrible situation that I was in. Initially I could not accept her advice. How can a Hindu man go to a church and pray? There were Hindu fanatic friends who advised me to rather hit the bottle and die than going to a church! I was in utter confusion but with the grace of God I could muster some courage and ask my christian colleague to help me know Jesus. She gave me the address and the necessary details about Divine Retreat Centre at Kerala. One fine Saturday evening I took the bus from my place to Chalakkudy in Kerala with a suit case full of liquor, cigarettes and Paan parag and 3 pairs of dress. I registered myself the next day morning in the centre. Totally different experience in a christian set up. This is my first visit to any christian worship place. Everything looked funny and crazy. The noise of Hallelujah sounded similar to the noise of Arogara the Hindus make while visiting temples. Sat and slept through the worship and prayer sessions for 4 days. I could not feel interested; I felt absolutely bored and sleepy. But something was happening silently inside me. My suit case had full of liquor bottles and cigarettes but I did not feel like drinking or smoking. After almost 25 years that I have spent 3 nights without drinking and smoking. It took 4 days for me to realise this change. Next day the Thursday was a fasting prayer day. Having realised the change that I was going through I took little interest to involve myself in the worship and prayer on that day. The prayer began at 6 in the morning. As I closed my eyes to pray, I saw Jesus playing with a baby. I thought it was just a fantasy as I heard a lot about Jesus for the last 4 days. I opened my eyes and again closed them. Again I saw Jesus along with the same baby. It was similar to as if I was watching a show in TV. This vision lasted the whole day. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw Jesus along with the child. I saw Jesus was doing all things that a mother will do for a baby; HE was feeding the baby, holding the hand of the child and walking through an awesome and beautiful garden, playing with the child, making him to sleep and I saw in the end that both Jesus and the child were sitting in an excellent lawn of completely green grass underneath an extra ordinarily huge pair of legs of someone who was sitting on a throne. I could see only those huge legs below the knee covered with a flowing white robe and not the face. But I could see that JESUS was in conversation with HIM often. I could feel that I was trembling seeing this. Immediately we were called to go for a cup of tea and re assemble for the final prayers. It was 6 in the evening. I could not move away from there. I was like a stone after what I had seen in the vision. People re assembled after having a cup of tea. We were about 3000 people attending the English language session.

The sermon started. Fr. Augustine Valluran shared the word of GOD. I just closed my eyes and listening to him. Suddenly I saw Jesus and the child standing on my right side in the last step of a very high ladder. Behind them it was full of light; light every where.The child was wearing a crown; the crown had a cross in the centre studded with brilliantly bright red stones. They both were looking at the crowd and waving their hands. Seeing this I could not control myself. I started shouting Jesus, I want to see you closer and experience you more. Come LORD come nearer me. What a miracle. THEY both started climbing down the stairs and walked straight to where I was standing with my eyes closed. Lord was standing on my right so close that I could feel the touch of HIS body and the child on my left. At the same time Fr. Valluran suddenly called out my name. I could hear him clearly telling me ” Prabhakaran, why do you worry and your name is written in my palms”. Immediately LORD touched my shoulders and whispered,” My dear son, why do you worry and I am with thee”; turned around took the crown which was on the head of the child standing on my left, placed it on my head and both of them climbed back to the same place from where they came. I could feel that I was weeping. sobbing and trembling. Perhaps I started jumping and dancing without my knowledge as has been later on confirmed by some of the co re-treatees standing around me. Wow, that was an awesome and never forgettable vision which changed my life for ever.

Dear Brothers and Sisters, I experienced the above vision exactly on 6th November 1997 and it is more than 16 years since this happened. Let us all praise our Lord and Saviour when I say from that day to until today I have not touched even a drop of liquor; not smoked even a cigarette and not chewed even a grain of tobacco. GLORY TO JESUS. Today I feel that I never had any of these habits in my life. HE wiped even the minute traces of those addictions from my thought process. WHAT AN AWESOME GOD WE HAVE; WHO IS ALIVE AND ADVOCATING FOR ALL OF US EVEN TODAY. Friends, scripture says that in Jesus Christ one is a new creature; old things are gone and everything is become new. I am a living example of this promise. The one who was vomiting due to excess drinking, vomit today when ever a person who is drunk comes closer to me. What a change and renewal HE brought in my life, my friends. HE pulled me out of the GUTTER and raised me to the GLACIER; from NOTHING to EVERYTHING; from ADDICTION to ABSOLUTE SOBRIETY. Within next one month by HIS grace I rejoined with my family and came the Christmas day 1997. That was the first Christmas of my life. We celebrated it with all happiness and joy. That was the MOST MEMORABLE CHRISTMAS that I ever celebrated in my life. Later on in March 1998 I got myself baptised in Delhi and formally began my journey as a Christian and I started ministering among alcoholics and drug addicts in a small way with a big dream and desire to start a Spiritual Rehab centre in HIS NAME, in the city of Bangalore, India where I presently stay. Keep me and my dream and desire in your prayers. Pray for every alcoholic, drug addict and smoker of both the sex, residing all over the world for their recovery and rehabilitation.

I always regret even to this day that I could celebrate my first Christmas only when I was 42 years old and 42 years of my life got wasted without knowing HIM. I feel sorry for those innumerable souls who have not known JESUS at all. Therefore I pray especially on every Christmas day for all those who did not yet knew Jesus to know HIM and celebrate their first Christmas soon. I invite all of you to join me in my prayer for all those who did not know Jesus yet, all over the world. Pray in spirit and truth for every single soul born, to be saved by the knowledge of Jesus Christ. PRAISE THE LORD!

[B. W.]

Thank you for sharing Karan,

Very powerful thing the Lord did for you and shows that we serve a living Lord!
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[neo-x]

Nice to have you karan. God bless you.

[Silvertusk]

Karan - You literally have me fighting back tears. That was an incredible testimony. I know I don't know you but would you mind at all if I read that testimony out at my church as an example of one who was saved by the AWESOME power of God?

Welcome to the board and thank you once again for sharing.

God Bless
Silvertusk.

[Danieltwotwenty]

From one former drug addict to another thank you for sharing your story. God bless you

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

[1over137]

Thank you for the testimony. You are not alone in taking the extreme step. I did twice.
I am so glad you wish to help people in the same condition you were. I hope to help people in the condition I was.

God bless you.

[ChristianScientistAnn]

Paul in the New Testament regretted his past, but he accomplished more in Christ's name than any other disciple or apostle. Your extensive and desperately needed work in Christ's name is very inspiring. Thank you, Karan.
Ann

[dand]

this is an interesting story