Relatives and Family Members in Hell

...In Heaven... · Post by **...In Heaven...** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 1:52 am

When you are in deep discussion about God and Christianity with people, you will eventually have to tell them that good works cannot save people and only by accepting the sacrifice of Christ can they enter the gates of heaven. However, that same person informs you that he/she had an unsaved relative or friend who perished, and they desire to know where they went after death. What would you tell them?

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 2:35 am

You will need to be quite gentle and compassionate but still tell the truth.
You may get quite an adverse reaction, but the truth about salvation cannot be changed to suit people's feelings.
There may be some reassurance and hope in the idea that we have no absolute certainty that anyone was not saved as that is up to God, not us, to decide... and who knows what happened in that person's final moments around death?
I think it is important to emphasize that we do have a loving Father, more loving than anyone can ever fathom, and we do not know everything in any one particular case.

Both my parents have died, and neither of them (as far as I know) were believers. This is something that has troubled me too. In fact, I asked Randy Alcorn of Eternal Perspective Ministries about this very same thing, and you may be interested to read his reply to me.
Here it is here.

Nothing really lessens the pain of full realization that one's loved one may be condemned to hell, although it can become strong motivation for prayer and evangelism so that no other loved person goes the same path.
I see it as a very hard fact that must be accepted, trusting in God's love, as part of one's spiritual growth and maturity.

Mastermind · Post by **Mastermind** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:59 am

As an Eastern Orthodox, I can pray most people out of hell. Sucks to be protestant or Catholic.

AttentionKMartShoppers · Sun Aug 14, 2005 10:40 am

Mastermind wrote:As an Eastern Orthodox, I can pray most people out of hell. Sucks to be protestant or Catholic.

Sucks to be unbiblical

ochotseat · Post by **ochotseat** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 1:48 pm

Mastermind wrote:As an Eastern Orthodox, I can pray most people out of hell.

That's untrue according to what I found on Eastern Orthodoxy on beliefnet:

After Death
God immediately judges who will experience happiness or unhappiness or temporary punishment. Those who kept faith in Christ, didn't sin after baptized or repented before death, and did good works will find happiness after death. Those whose faith in Christ was lacking or corrupt, or sinned after baptism without repentance before death, or didn't do good deeds will find unhappiness after death. Those whose only transgression was not performing good deeds may be punished temporarily. Christ will return to resurrect and judge all for eternity in either heaven or hell. Level of reward is relative to one's deeds in life.

Sucks to be protestant or Catholic.

But you Orthodox and Catholic Christians don't have the Protestant Work Ethic. Plus, most Americans are Protestants, TBN is dominated by Protestants, and Protestant church services are much more exciting.

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 2:10 pm

OK, you three bright cookies...

Now come up with a worthwhile constructive response to the original post.

I think In Heaven has raised a very good question as it certainly deals with a sensitive issue that can be a stumbling block to those new to Christianity, and painful to anyone whose family and friends resist the Gospel message.

Prodigal Son · Post by **Prodigal Son** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 5:26 pm

i think i'd tell them that no ones who will get into heaven. that's really just up to God. trying to determine or tell someone their family member(s) didn't get there isn't really right.

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:14 pm

Prodigal Son wrote:i think i'd tell them that no ones who will get into heaven. that's really just up to God. trying to determine or tell someone their family member(s) didn't get there isn't really right.

That does sound the kinder way to go, PS, but when you are discussing matters of salvation and eternal life, it is very difficult to hold to such a position while still maintaining that "the wages of sin is death" and the reasons for accepting Christ as one's saviour.
If no one has any certainty about these things, then how can we be sure that it matters enough to believe and accept Christ in the first place?

I think we can know - well, we say that we do - but I agree that allowing some uncertainty on the basis that, among those we don't know to be believers or not, God has the final say anyway.
The uncertainty is based on whether or not the person believed and accepted Christ, but not on any uncertainty that we are justified and saved by our belief.

I think that is the distinction that is important to make when answering such a question.

ochotseat · Post by **ochotseat** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 12:56 am

Judah wrote: Now come up with a worthwhile constructive response to the original post.
.

It's simple. You just tell them that God wasn't responsible for their choices that led to eternal damnation.

j316 · Post by **j316** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 4:44 am

I believe that based on our ability to bind and release that we can claim a soul, ask God to give it special consideration in effect. I can't tell you if it is effective, I won't find out for a while yet , I hope.

Prodigal Son · Post by **Prodigal Son** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:42 am

you're right, judah. i suppose we need to mention that. what about something to the effect of: no one really knows who's going to heaven, only God knows our hearts. but, the bible teaches that Jesus is the way to salvation; that He will lead us there... ?

truly, i mean, there are many evil people who go to church. i think it goes both ways. assuring people that their loved ones (who could be picture perfect outside, and totally different inside) are going to heaven is also false. after all, look at all these priests molesting little kids. that messes people up, those kids are thinking, "this guy is good, he's going to heaven and i'm not." sort of, you know, because everyone is telling them the priests are good. we don't know. we don't know anyone. we only know what people tell us and every single one of us keeps secrets.

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 3:14 pm

I think you are spot-on there, PS.
Only God knows what is in our innermost hearts, and it is His judgement we receive in the end.
That is the thought I find most comforting when I think of my late parents. It is consistent with Scripture and it has an essence of humility whereby we are not to judge others. Only God may do that.

We do not know everything... not yet, anyway.

1 Corinthians 13:12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

ochotseat · Post by **ochotseat** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:34 pm

Prodigal Son wrote: after all, look at all these priests molesting little kids. .

If they repent, they're going to heaven.

Deborah · Post by **Deborah** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:59 pm

ochotseat wrote:
Prodigal Son wrote: after all, look at all these priests molesting little kids. .
If they repent, they're going to heaven.

they have to mean it in their heart. Not just say I repent.

ochotseat · Post by **ochotseat** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 2:10 am

Deborah wrote: they have to mean it in their heart. Not just say I repent.

If they're praying to God, they probably will. It won't hurt to encourage them by isolating them from boys either.