The damaging effects of bullies.

[RickD]

I wish you could block from seeing a particular persons posts, like on FB.

Daniel,

You can ignore a specific member's posts. Go to the control panel, manage foes, and enter a member's name. You cannot ignore moderators or administrators.

[RickD]

daniel wrote:
Rick I am not jumping to conclusions, I am just taking your arguments to their logical conclusions.

No Daniel. The only thing you're taking, is too much flu medication.

People who have been bullied will never recover, it changes the mind in a physical way and emotionally damages the person for good.

What? This is ridiculous Daniel. When I was a teenager, I had severe acne, and I was teased mercilessly. And guess what? I'm ok now. That was almost 30 years ago. People have the capability to overcome obstacles in their lives.

By you saying he should just get over it, is basically diminishing the sin that was done against him and saying it is ok.

No Daniel. I'm not talking about telling a 15 year old kid to just get over it when it's still happening to him. The guy in the video is 38 years old. There's no reason he shouldn't be over it by now. Dwelling on bullying that happened 20-25 years ago is absurd. But I understand it. Some people like to play the victim card their whole lives. Maybe it helps them so they don't have to deal with reality, and work through obstacles.

If your going to do that then you have to apply your logic to all sin, like rape, victims of war, incest, murder, violent crime, according to your logic all these people should just get over it and go quietly into the night.

Daniel,
You just took a straw man argument to an extremely illogical conclusion.

[RickD]

Well I will take my baloney and weak faith out of your face FL. I will not be bothering you or anyone on this forum ever again.

I am with you Silver, it's unfortunate that we have to take these measures but I don't see what other choice there is.

You guys want some cheese with that whine?

You know, there are people who believe that things that don't kill them, make them stronger. They realize that there are certain things in life that happen to them, that they have no control over. They deal with obstacles, and become better because they can adjust to whatever crap life throws at them.

Then there are others who cry "woe is me" everytime something bad happens. They don't face issues head on, and won't find a way to work through difficulties. They play the victim their entire lives, and lead a miserable existence.

You have the choice to take either path. Deal with what life throws at you. Or be a miserable wretch for the rest of your life.

[1over137]

FL when you have had 4 years of teacher training then I might even consider listening to you on how to deal with bullies.

Your teacher's training is worthless insofar as dealing with bullies is concerned. Sorry. Do you have enough insight to see that your methods are inadequate and that the problem is getting worse? I don't think so, I really don't. You are blind and proud of it! Open your Bible and read : things will get worse and worse until Messiah comes. The methods we are now using to ''improve'' our lot are doomed to failure. This was prophesied centuries ago and none of your ''teacher's training'' will make anything better. Do you want to make things better, albeit temporarily? Then, look at what was done in the past. In the past, before all of our modern perversions: before abortion, disavowal of God, sexual liberation, pornography, strip clubs, drugs, gay rights/marriage/adoption. The past, when people married and when their marriage lasted! the past, when you didn't need a written contract to trust someone! the past, when we said we trusted in God instead of the government and the ''inherent goodness of man.''

Yes we tell them to come to us and we deal with them and the bulling does stop in most cases. I do not have a problem with people standing up to bullies, but your naievity in suggesting that it has no effect, even lasting affect is just plain wrong,

You even believe your own propaganda! Even Goebbles knew he was lying! You tell me ''the bullying stops'' yet never before modern times have people committed suicide over bullying! Sorry, but the bullying doesn't stop, it just takes another form. You are amazingly blind: you really believe that evil just goes away if you tell it to.

Be careful with your language FL, your comments are coming close to insults and will warrant a ban.

I'm not insulting you, Silver. I'm telling you plainly and in unmistakable language that you are full of baloney on this topic. I understand that current secular wisdom validates your baloney.

As far as banning me is concerned, are you morally qualified to do so? Just a very short time ago you were doubting the very existence of God! Over some man-made theory, you wondered about God's very existence! Is your faith that weak?

FL

FL, do you have more insight to practically tell Silver he does not have? Do you have right to tell Silver: you are blind and proud of it? What are you thinking?

What is your problem FL with Silver? That he is a mod and may go through a period when his faith is weakened? Or that he does not know how to deal with you? Are you taking advantage of it? Tell me, cause I may be wrong.

What do you expect from a moderator? Not being moderate?

I believe that your intentions are good FL. That you wish to teach certain folks something. But please consider whether you are achieving your goals or whether you managed to achieve the opposite.

Every person is unique. And while for someone it may be sufficient to be told: don't cry and be man, others may need more time and mainly more understanding and love. The aim is same: help them to recover from bullying. But while something may work for someone it does not have to work for others.

I am thinking what would happen if I met you in the period of life when I as weak. Hmm, I may have some insight cause I had one friend.

God was being patient with me. How am I not to be patient with others?

[1over137]

Well I will take my baloney and weak faith out of your face FL. I will not be bothering you or anyone on this forum ever again.

I am with you Silver, it's unfortunate that we have to take these measures but I don't see what other choice there is.

You guys want some cheese with that whine?

You know, there are people who believe that things that don't kill them, make them stronger. They realize that there are certain things in life that happen to them, that they have no control over. They deal with obstacles, and become better because they can adjust to whatever crap life throws at them.

Then there are others who cry "woe is me" everytime something bad happens. They don't face issues head on, and won't find a way to work through difficulties. They play the victim their entire lives, and lead a miserable existence.

You have the choice to take either path. Deal with what life throws at you. Or be a miserable wretch for the rest of your life.

Rick, those others might need some more help. And with such approach as required by their personalities. Well, if wrong approach is taken I can imagine how frustrating it can be and worsen their situation. Instead of getting slowly from their situation, they can be sinking deeper and deeper into their frustration.

Only God knows them and their situation entirely. I may not know the reason why in the age of forty one can still feel effects of bullying but I know I would constantly try to help them.

[1over137]

Well I will take my baloney and weak faith out of your face FL. I will not be bothering you or anyone on this forum ever again.

FL, i am very curious about your reaction after reading the Silver's post above.

[neo-x]

Well I will take my baloney and weak faith out of your face FL. I will not be bothering you or anyone on this forum ever again.

FL, i am very curious about your reaction after reading the Silver's post above.

Silver left.

[neo-x]

No Daniel. I'm not talking about telling a 15 year old kid to just get over it when it's still happening to him. The guy in the video is 38 years old. There's no reason he shouldn't be over it by now. Dwelling on bullying that happened 20-25 years ago is absurd. But I understand it. Some people like to play the victim card their whole lives. Maybe it helps them so they don't have to deal with reality, and work through obstacles.

This is a very shallow view of life Rick. Sure some people always play the victim but some scars never heal. Go ask a holocaust victim if they have been over what was done to thme 70 years ago. Go ask you own nation, tell them to get over what happened at 9/11. Cause that happened 14 years ago. I know rape victims how shudder at the sight of men even 20 years after.

Whatever your intentions are, and I don't doubt they are good, you are not helping.

[1over137]

Well I will take my baloney and weak faith out of your face FL. I will not be bothering you or anyone on this forum ever again.

FL, i am very curious about your reaction after reading the Silver's post above.

Silver left.

I know John.

[RickD]

No Daniel. I'm not talking about telling a 15 year old kid to just get over it when it's still happening to him. The guy in the video is 38 years old. There's no reason he shouldn't be over it by now. Dwelling on bullying that happened 20-25 years ago is absurd. But I understand it. Some people like to play the victim card their whole lives. Maybe it helps them so they don't have to deal with reality, and work through obstacles.

This is a very shallow view of life Rick. Sure some people always play the victim but some scars never heal. Go ask a holocaust victim if they have been over what was done to thme 70 years ago. Go ask you own nation, tell them to get over what happened at 9/11. Cause that happened 14 years ago. I know rape victims how shudder at the sight of men even 20 years after.

Whatever your intentions are, and I don't doubt they are good, you are not helping.

Neo,

You do know what a red herring is don't you? This thread is full of them, including your post.
FOR THE LAST TIME, LET ME BE CLEAR: I AM SPECIFICALLY AND ONLY TALKING ABOUT GROWN MEN COMPLAINING ABOUT CHILDHOOD BULLYING THAT HAPPENED DECADES AGO!!!

My opinion that they should've gotten over something that probably every boy goes through, does not mean I think rape victims, people affected by murder, holocaust victims, people directly affected by 9/11, should just get over it.

Why is that so difficult to understand?

Daniel's illogical conclusion was basically that I was condoning sin, and ignoring rape and murder, because I think a 38 year old man shouldn't be dwelling on childhood bullying. That is ridiculous.

Now, if there's a deeper issue in this man's life, then that's a completely different issue. Say hypothetically, he was sexually abused as a child, had no father present growing up, and then he was bullied. He may, hypothetically, be dwelling on the bullying, so he can avoid dealing with the REAL issues. Then that isn't really a bullying issue.

So, to sum it up, childhood bullying in itself, is not something that ANY 38 year old man should still be whining about.


Got it?

[RickD]

Hana wrote:
Rick, those others might need some more help. And with such approach as required by their personalities. Well, if wrong approach is taken I can imagine how frustrating it can be and worsen their situation. Instead of getting slowly from their situation, they can be sinking deeper and deeper into their frustration.

Only God knows them and their situation entirely. I may not know the reason why in the age of forty one can still feel effects of bullying but I know I would constantly try to help them.

Hana,

I would contend that if someone is 38 years old, and is still complaining about his childhood bullying, there's a much deeper issue that needs to be dealt with. Maybe he needs to stop hiding behind the bullying issue, and deal with the real problem.

If not, he's going to be hiding, and making excuses his whole life.

[neo-x]

FOR THE LAST TIME, LET ME BE CLEAR: I AM SPECIFICALLY AND ONLY TALKING ABOUT GROWN MEN COMPLAINING ABOUT CHILDHOOD BULLYING THAT HAPPENED DECADES AGO!!!

My opinion that they should've gotten over something that probably every boy goes through, does not mean I think rape victims, people affected by murder, holocaust victims, people directly affected by 9/11, should just get over it.

And I am not saying you are condoning sin. I made it pretty clear in my statement. I am sure you are trying to add a positive angle to the whole thing. I contention is this is not the way to do it. People just don't get over things. Child hood bullying is no different than rape, murder, 9/11 etc. The point is not the event but the injustice. The sense of fear that can shape people's life, and destroy it. Don't try to oversimplify the fact that each child is very unique. If you got over what happened to you in your childhood does not mean that everyone HAS THE SAME CAPACITY to do so. Everyone is not that blessed Rick.

If you put a pigeon in a cage with electric fence, just after 3-4 electric shocks the pigeon learns not to go near the fences and you can even de-electrify the fences and your pigeon won't touch the fence. What happens in childhood is quite similar. Bullies can sometimes introduce barriers which can stop normal social and mental growth of a person's nature or personality. Even when there is no bully in the scene, the victim does not cross the barrier, it doesn't approach the fence. Its always afraid.

What you are saying is that they should get over it and this is at this point as much helpful if you can burn me severely, leave me traumatized and then ask me to be a fire man. It doesn't work. This "macho persona" doesn't work. There is something missing. If you want to help you have to help them gain trust before you can just tell them to get over it. And its not easy. And even if you said it in humour, it was very insensitive to say "I wasted 12 minutes of my life." It reflects you more and I don't think you mean bad. You obviously mean good. But your statement didn't help.

Don't take this the wrong way, Rick. I am not trying to corner you or anything. Just trying to help.

[RickD]

Neo wrote:
And I am not saying you are condoning sin. I made it pretty clear in my statement. I am sure you are trying to add a positive angle to the whole thing. I contention is this is not the way to do it. People just don't get over things. Child hood bullying is no different than rape, murder, 9/11 etc. The point is not the event but the injustice. The sense of fear that can shape people's life, and destroy it. Don't try to oversimplify the fact that each child is very unique. If you got over what happened to you in your childhood does not mean that everyone HAS THE SAME CAPACITY to do so. Everyone is not that blessed Rick.

Someone who was bullied as a child is no different than someone who was raped? No different than someone who had a family member murdered? No different than someone who lost a loved one on 9/11?

Are you serious? Are we talking about the same thing?

A fat kid was picked on, and he still should be dwelling on it 20 plus years later? Are you kidding me? I think the issue must go deeper than mere childhood bullying. Maybe there's a real issue to why he's fat. Maybe he used overrating to hide the pain of abuse. I don't know. But then like I said, the real issue isn't bullying. It's something much deeper.

I'm pretty sure the guy in the video has other issues he needs to deal with. Not bullying.

[Seraph]

Rick, why must you white knight FL? He has shown time and again that he is an out of touch cruel hearted person and the antithesis of what a Christian or loving person ought to strive to be. He's taking the side of bullies over terrorized children for goodness sake, out of some delusion that children now are weak. What does a middle aged man know about life through the eyes of a young person in today's world?

Seriously, posts here make me livid sometimes.

[RickD]

Rick, why must you white knight FL? He has shown time and again that he is an out of touch cruel hearted person and the antithesis of what a Christian or loving person ought to strive to be. He's taking the side of bullies over terrorized children for goodness sake, out of some delusion that children now are weak. What does a middle aged man know about life through the eyes of a young person in today's world?

Seriously, posts here make me livid sometimes.

I'm not taking anyone's side in this. I have my own opinions.

Out of touch and cruel hearted? That's a bit harsh. Do you know FL well enough to make that judgement?

And your point about a middle aged man not knowing enough through the eyes of a young person, is not accurate either. I'm middle aged with a 15 year old son that just a little while back went through some bullying issues.

FL is the antithesis of what a Christian should strive to be? Who are you to judge him?