I've been feeling really depressed the last few days, i've been letting the devil get to me, I've only stood up to his lies once. This evening I was loitering around on atheist sites and there words were really starting to get to me and I've been taking out my anger and frustration at my predicament on people online, feeling really bad about it sometimes during, always after and not turning to Jesus when I should. I've let the devil trample all over me. Anyway I'm sorry to those on here that may have been offended or annoyed with anything that I have posted. I do love you all, in Christ.
I came out to my pastor online tonight, I told him how I was, that I was a "gay". I'm not proud to be this way, i've always felt it wasn't right and abnormal and i've hated it. I've managed to be celibate almost all my life, but i've reached the stage where I am just sick of having the feelings for the same sex. He was surprisingly sympathetic, I was really worried about his reaction but he even told me he had struggled with the same sin in the past (he is now married with 2 children and another one on the way. Praise the Lord!).
Well we said a prayer to God together for my salvation. I submitted myself to him tonight and I am going to truly try to obey him and resist the devil when he attacks and start going to church. This is what I prayed.
Almighty God and our Father
we call upon your Name, the Name of Jesus,
we are desparation Lord
hopelessly lost and unable to save ourselves
Have mercy O God
We have sinned against you
We have errored and gone out of your way
We are guility of great sins against you Lord
We have despised you
hated you
and become your enemy
You are merciful and kind O Holy Father
slow in anger
and have sent your Beloved Son Jesus
Who came down from heaven, proceeding frm You
taking on human flesh
He was obediaent to You
even to the point of dying on the cross
You have made Jesus the sacrifice for our sins Lord
showing us Your love and forgiveness in His blood
O Holy Father
let the blood of Jesus sprinkle my dead and wicked heart
I know Father, that His sacrifice is enough
You have accepted Jesus
Because You raised Him from the dead
showing the whole world that this is Your salvation
I believe Father, with all my heart, that Jesus was raised from the dead
help my unbelief
You have commanded all men Lord to turn away from their sins
and to put their trust in You alone
I do this now God
I am here to obey the Gospel
Take my life O God
Crucufy me with your Son Jesus
that I may be raised new
and walk in the newness of life
Save me O God!
If you do not save, I will not be saved
But if you do Lord, it will be everlasting
And I will be yours
Take my life O Jesus
Thou Son of God
And make me God's holy child
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
It was a very humbling, sobering experience as I prayed out loud. I've realised today that I can't remain a homosexual, even if I don't act on it, it's a barrier between me and God and it's incompatible with Christ and his teachings, there's no getting around what Romans says and mentioning the feeling aswell as the behaviour. I'm hoping now that the Holy Spirit will start softening and working on my heart to change it for the better to heal me of this condition. It's so hard to be a Christian while being this way but submit myself to and obey the Lord God I must, just like everyone else and put my faith in his hands.
I made a commitment to God tonight
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XenonII
- Established Member
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- Location: Australia
I made a commitment to God tonight
Last edited by XenonII on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:43 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Believer
- Advanced Senior Member
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- Location: Oregon
XenonII, you did the right thing brother, welcome to the true family of Christ. We can help you with your struggles. Just remember, even though atheists claim there is nothing supernatural going on, there really is, it is spiritual warfare, satan deceives, destroys, leads people away from Christ, it is very painful. I have much to say, please check your PM.
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Prodigal Son
- Senior Member
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- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:49 pm
- Christian: No
