PLEASE PRAY FOR ME - URGENT!!!

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 6:25 pm

ADMINISTRATORS: I DON'T KNOW IF THIS THREAD BELONGS HERE, BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT.

POSSESSIONS & EXORCISMS

Okay, I am having a hard time with life right now. I have mood swings on and off, I am on the same medication every day at every time, and I don't experience different outside stuff than I usually do. That means I am not sure what is triggering my good mood swings and my bad mood swings. Sometimes I feel suicidal, worthless, hating, etc..., and sometimes I feel really good. Here is the deal, I have been having more frequent divine dreams and visions lately, I don't want to give them unless requested, otherwise I will feel bad because some might not have what I have been having. I don't have nightmares. Lately because of this I have been feeling VERY prideful telling people, and this isn't right, it is a sin. I will mention one thing about my more frequent dreams, so you can help me, in that I have actually seen Jesus and He has spoken to me, but in my sleep, I believe I have been yelling profanity at Him and blaspheming and calling Him the devil in my dream transitioning out of my dream, and then waking up. When I wake up is when He goes away, this will happen usually a few hours after I have been asleep or at any time really. I do my own dream interpretations and research, and I can say these can't be faked fabricated dreams as they have become very real and personalized to me. I don't usually read my Bible and go to church, but I do pray and talk about God and science a lot in the house. Now, I know I can't really all the time control my dreams, but this thing towards God/Jesus is absolutely terrible! I know I for some reason have been connected to the divine, but don't know why, it is just more frequent. When I see Jesus, he doesn't look really like any Jesus I have ever seen on t.v., or my portrait of Him, these are all "what I think He looked like" artist renderings from what they think based on the people's look during His ministry, but I do admit He does show some similarities to what artists thinks He looks like. I also feel typically like I am going to hell. I don't feel "on-fire" for God or that constant love for Him. I do have mental diseases, medication doesn't really help all that much. I have been doing things that are kind of out of the ordinary, demon like possibly, and I don't know if I may be borderline possessed, but I know something is stirring in my body and mind. I do still have the ability to type this dont I?

Please, for all committed and strong believers in God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, please pray I get delivered from all demonic things, please pray that I can have a renewal of the Holy Spirit in me, please pray for God to bring me love for Him and His Son, lease pray for my salvation, please pray for faith, please pray for my heart to be more softened, please pray for a peace of mind, please pray that I can pray myself genuinely, please pray that I wont hate people or God/Jesus/Holy Spirit and whoever and whatever else, please pray for freedom from the demonic things and diseases in my body/mind (I found this can be linked to demonic possession), please pray for everything for me, not material things, just spiritual and physical healings. My name is Brian (obviously). I don't request these things that often or hardly ever, but I really need this. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, pray for me, more often if you want! Thank You!

P.S. What is the sinners prayer? Where can I find it? Can you post it here?

jakelo · Post by **jakelo** » Fri Sep 09, 2005 8:43 pm

Brian,

You have my prayers and my thoughts. I hope that the Lord will bring peace into your heart. Hold on to your faith! God bless.

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:59 pm

Last night, 9/9/05, I saw an apparition of a tall possibly bulky man pass through my closed door and floated towards my treadmill which I think is about 7 feet away from my door. As he got to the treadmill, he vanished. All I could make out was an outline of him and a little bit of features. I'm not sure exactly on this, but looked like he had flowing robes on, you may think Jesus, I would too, but I couldn't tell. The last time I saw three black apparitions together was ten years ago.

I also wanted to mention, my parents have been noticing something wrong with me, I am not acting like I used to. Two nights ago around 1:30 A.M., I had a feeling/thought that I was going to die in my sleep. It was a very sharp feeling/thought, but I drifted into sleep anyways, I didn't even think much about that feeling/thought. I told my psychiatrist in the morning about that and the divine dreams I have been having. I kept telling him "I am not crazy, I know what I experienced was real", and he looked at me most likely thinking I was crazy. He cut the session short, called my Dad's (my dad is a doctor) P.A. (Physicians Assistant), and I was called on my cell phone as I was driving home to go right to my dad's doctor's office to see my dad's P.A. which is also helping me. It was then confirmed, they think I am crazy. She didn't say I was crazy, but I knew what she was thinking in the way she spoke to me, and she knew I was crazy. So now my entire family thinks I am crazy, and when I talk to them, they go away.

I have been under mild-heavy demonic attacks for months. I started reading Genesis again, and because I have the Students Life Application New Living Translation Bible, commentary is added from real life people with inquiring minds. So I was reading Genesis, and the commentary I was reading was that God put together 66 books. My mind whether I did it intentionally or not, automatically thought 666 and then I was "hearing" in my head that God is Satan, that is blasphemy, I am going to hell, I know, I haven't felt guilty, should I? But I have had these thoughts for a while like this among other crude things that stir in my head. It really feels like I have been mildly demonically possessed, in that I can still be aware of things and function "normally" in my perception, but many ungodly things are stirring in my mind and that I for some reason like evil over good, but I don't put evil out in physical action, only in my head. I have intrusive thoughts, for every positive thing I do, mostly in thoughts or words, a negative and opposite side of that happens immediately after the positive. I keep getting nudity thoughts, I get blasphemous thoughts, I keep having a mild urge to curse out people for no reason, I curse in my head excessively. I think the deal is that if I had to go to a priest or pastor or whatever, from what I have seen on t.v., I believe I would start thrashing and saying really blasphemous and vulgar language out loud. I can feel it in me that I would do such a thing, but I am suppressing it. If I let go, I would be in a really bad condition. Also, I have been for some reason, which I don't know, interested in demonic things, like for months since I heard about it, I have been waiting to go see The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, I have not seen it, and it is best I do not see it, but I have a strong urge to see it. I have seen other Exorcist movies I regret seeing before. I also have not been feeling like myself lately, my parents have seen this. Like for instance, I feel that I want power, I feel that I have too much pride, I feel like spiders or spider webs are all over me, I feel that I am not completely in sync with my body in that I don't feel a part of my body, don't ask me why, it has just been happening. No, I don't dabble in Wicca or witchcraft. What is going on with me? Any thoughts? I don't attend church, but I think I might have to go to one for the reason I am telling you now in this post and the very first post of mine on this thread.

I was believed to be saved on 2/11/95, and every once and a while, I keep asking for Jesus to enter my life, but it feels denied, I also had another powerful experience in March of 2004 and also about a week and a half ago. If I am mildly possessed, does that mean I was never saved to begin with? I always keep dwelling on the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit I did last year for 1-2 weeks consistently in my head, this was unintentionally after reading an article about it because I wasn't aware of any sin that was unforgivable in this age or the age to come. I also, because of the thought pressure, said it out loud with my mouth only once. I did feel guilty, but if anyone does this for some reason and they are not saved, can they be saved and be forgiven of and have eternal life, or is it once you screw up, you're doomed?

I do have mental illnesses that seem to not make up their mind whether they are going to go or not, I am one 2 prescription medications and brain vitamins. I was told to go back on a medication that knocks me out cold, and supposedly helps my brain get better.

Please pray for me and ask anything you like, I just need help, and more of it. Since on this medication that knocks me out cold, I take more naps. It is 25mg and it goes all the way up to I think 400-500mg. Do I need to see a priest, pastor, something? Please answer my bolded and underlined questions and any other questions. Thanks!

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sat Sep 10, 2005 9:04 pm

Brian, I honestly think the best person you need to be talking with is your psychiatrist.

Although all these unusual things are somehow happening and are puzzling and even disturbing to you, as they would be to anyone experiencing them, you are still coherent with what you write, and have a realization of what is appropriate versus not appropriate behaviour in spite of them.
In other words, you have not fallen apart completely like some folks who go "crazy" but it definitely is quite concerning that you are experiencing these things. Also, it must be pretty unpleasant for you to feel under attack in this way, and that sharp feeling that you could die in your sleep sounds quite a horrible experience.

Brian, it really is your psychiatrist who is best positioned to help you most, more so than any of us on here.
Folks here can pray for you, but that is not instead of appropriate medical help when that is required.

Sometimes a person's brain can get a bit over-active and hyped up, especially with these kinds of experiences which often stimulate increasing amounts of anxiety/excitement and further questioning. It is easy then to get caught in a kind of feedback loop and have difficulty dealing with it all.
So it doesn't hurt for your brain to be given a little bit of enforced rest... the being "knocked out cold" from the medication as you have mentioned.
In a way, it is not unlike rebooting a computer when the software gets a bit tangled up with itself.
Afterwards you will be better able to understand what is happening and what it all means. But just now it sounds as though things are getting a little away on you... just a bit. Would that be fair to say?

Regarding your question...

Romans 8:35
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

Romans 8:39
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 1:03 am

The following post is a reply by me to a member from a different forum that we are both members of, as well as others, and he is trying to help me. I just wanted to pass this along here and see if I can gain any additional help from this. This is essentially a continuation from the same posts that I have made above based on my problem - blasphemy of the Holy Spirit - and have received different replies to, both here, and on the other forum I am a member of.

Brian I just posted Dr. Stanleys messages on how we cannot blaspheme the Holy Spirit in this day and age. Sound wrong or impossible? I urge you to go to
www intouch org /intouch/site.show_page?p_id=76096&p_monthyear=092005 and read the messages from 9/8 and 9/9/05 titled the unpardonable sin and the impossible sin.

Well, I'm not sure on this. My dad's brother is a pastor, and my mom asked for me to him if I had committed the unpardonable sin, and he said according to my mom, "If you felt guilty, you did not commit it", I did feel horribly guilty, but I question if it was real guilt or fabricated guilt I experienced, because I knew it was wrong. This weblink - http://christiananswers.net/q-eden/unpardonablesin.html - also is the one that started my whole problem with blasphemy of the Holy Spirit in combination with mental illness, and also talks about guilt. These articles which you linked me - The Unpardonable Sin and The Impossible Sin - explain it cannot be committed period. But after looking at their Bible references, they used the NASB version and the scripture is as follows:

Matthew 12:32 (New American Standard Bible)

32"(M)Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in (N)this age or in the age to come.

Or the popular NIV version can be used as well:

Matthew 12:32 (New International Version)

32Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

But the NLT version speaks different (the Bible I have):

Matthew 12:32 (New Living Translation)

32Anyone who blasphemes against me, the Son of Man, can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven, either in this world or in the world to come.

So you see from the NASB and NIV versions, it mentions age, but in the NLT version, it mentions world. Some other versions mention both world and age, and some other versions take it out of context by not even using those words. Either and all ways, it has the same meaning universally in all Bible versions, this time and the time Jesus Christ comes back. Now, why would I feel guilty then if the sin can't be committed today by Christians and non-believers alike? Clearly Jesus back in His day, was complete human and complete God, so He knew this message would still be valid before and after His crucifixion even though He knew He was going to be crucified. I don't see why only something past tense would be recorded if it was of this magnitude of sin that it is unpardonable. Also, Jesus, pre-crucifixion, still deemed all sins forgivable, just not the one against the Holy Spirit. So if all sins were forgivable pre-crucifixion and post-crucifixion, then where does the unforgivable sin lie in all of this? People (theologians) say you can still be forgiven of this unpardonable sin whether you are saved or not, only if you ask for forgiveness, you admit you are a sinner, and in need of a savior (Jesus Christ). But this falls within fallible human beings vs. The Bible (Gods' Word). Which is right?

Over a year now since this thing happened, and still bothered by it, I have all these "what ifs". The main ones are, "what if I wasn't saved to begin with?", "what if the guilt I experienced was fabricated?", "what if it is a one time sin and you are damned for all eternity?", "can an unsaved person who commits the unpardonable sin for whatever reason, still be forgiven and saved if he/she calls upon the Lord?". Those are my main questions, that I still have not received answers to. Also to note, the whole time I was having this problem, I kept asking for forgiveness. Nearing the end of my problem, I kept thinking to myself, "You're forgiven", over and over again in my head. I took a nap and was woken up by an audible voice not of mine that said, "You're forgiven", and this was last year. Sometime during the beginning of this year, again, I kept thinking to myself for some reason,"You're not saved", over and over again in my head. I took a nap and was woken up by an audible voice not of mine, that was the same as the last one, and said, "You're not saved", this second audible voice seemed to have a problem at the word "not" in the "You're not saved", as it seemed a little scrambled, but I am not entirely sure if it was scrambled. God is not of confusion, so either it was me or satan. Now, I wouldn't say God would say these things to me audibly, but it is possible He could have. I don't know. Besides that, I rely upon my feelings a lot, and most of the time, my feelings confirm that I am going to hell. Now, the Bible instructs us not to rely upon feelings, but God gives us feelings of comfort, joy, guilt, confirmation, etc..., so should we ignore those feelings He puts in us as well because His Word tells us not to rely upon feelings? Help?

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Sep 11, 2005 4:23 am

You are asking for help from so many different people everywhere, hassling over every tiny detail of everything, and not paying heed to anything for more than a moment without hassling some more.

I have no response further than that which I made in my previous post, and on other past occasions.

Let the medication work to settle things down, and stay in contact with your psychiatrist.

God is far more understanding of all your problems than you could possibly imagine, and He is merciful and incredibly loving.

Kurieuo · Post by **Kurieuo** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:17 pm

This is what I strongly believe happens to us as Christians. When we make the decision to seek out God, and we come to Him, the Holy Spirit reveals Himself to us often through a changing experience. This experience changes a lot of our affections (e.g., likes and dislikes, wants and desires), and even corrects our thinking (things we once may have scoffed at, we now see great significance to). In addition, our spirit comes alive, and it has been my experience with other Christians that they also have an awareness that God is just there—they can feel Him in their spirit even just by thinking about Him (although I think this perception can still be clouded by our sins).

Now if a Christian turns their back on what the Holy Spirit has revealed, I believe this it the most insulting one could ever get to Him—throwing back in God's face His revelation. Although a person may get to this point of turning their back on God, I believe such a person can still believe God exists even though they deny His existence and try to convince themselves otherwise (even play down the Holy Spirit's revelatory experience as irrational since it wasn't measurable via our physical five senses). Thus, they effectively insult and I believe blaspheme the Holy Spirit. For such a person there is no return, and God takes away any forgiveness for such an insult.

Is this you? No. Your pastor is correct that you have not commited this sin of blasphemy, for you are still feeling remorse for your sins. In order to commit this blasphemy sin I believe one has to remain continually and obstinately against God. The person who blasphemes the Holy Spirit has made their final decision like Satan and those angels who have fallen. For such a person who has tasted God, and decided they did not want any part of Him, they won't return nor can they. The fact you keep returning to God reveals you have not commited this sin of blasphemy.

Yet, I do believe there is another way that one can blaspheme the Holy Spirit. As Christians, we are given two commandments—to love Christ, and love others. The Holy Spirit's role is to encourage and try to produce this change within us from the inside-out. Yet, like the wicked servant in Christ's parable (Matthew 18:23-35), though we belong to our master Christ who has forgiven us our debts, we can still choose to be bitter towards those who have sinned against us—not showing the same forgiveness and love for even petty things. Thus, we may shut the door on the Holy Spirit working Christ's love and forgiveness through our own lives and therefore we become a wicked servant. So what right do we have to God's great gift of forgiveness if we prefer to hang onto our grudges against others for even minute sins? Indeed, Christ says we won't be forgiven if we don't show forgiveness to others. (Matthew 6:14-15)

Kurieuo

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:31 pm

Well, am I bothered all the time, of course, over a year since this happened to be exact. Do I show forgiveness for others in my house and not hold grudges, yes, I do for everyone, but I still have grudges against atheists. I don't know how to break that, it is a work in progress. Since my acceptance of Christ on 2/11/95, why didn't I start showing the "fruit" of the Holy Spirit? This was a decade ago. I just think I am cooked and damned to hell. My pastor is actually my dad's brother who lives a state away, so officially, he isn't MY pastor, I don't go to church either, but I want to, it's just hard for me to do it even when I am with my parents.

Kurieuo · Post by **Kurieuo** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:44 pm

I think you're safe. And to not hold grudges against people you live with, well that is a big one. From experience, I know it is so easy to get petty with people we live with, especially family

. But what I think God desires is our trying to be forgiving. Yet, if a Christian has no evidence of forgiveness working through their lives, then I think they ought to be concerned that they aren't just being plain selfish and wicked against God.

Kurieuo

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:58 pm

I need God, plain and simple. I have tried to run, but only in confusion did I have to come back. I don't understand why, like I said, that I did not bear "fruit" of the Holy Spirit when I accepted Christ on 2/11/95. I don't know. March 2004 was the turning point when I first started to get into God stuff like I am now, I believe the Holy Spirit transformed me, but I got back into sin and then ever since, I have felt void. This unpardonable sin came so early after March 2004. I don't understand, except for having mental illness. I have been in a cycle of sin, in that I do something sinful and ask for forgiveness and repent of the sin(s), but then I turn around and break the repentance. This has been going on for a long time. How many times does God forgive and accept repentances? Is it limited or unlimited for forgiveness and repentances? Jesus said 70 times 7, so whether that is literal or symbolic, I don't know, I don't know how much more of this sin He can put up with me after I repent and then break it over and over and over, etc... Granted, I have changed and have stopped doing some things I have done for longer periods of time, but then I stumble back into it. I don't feel guilt anymore for anything. This makes me concerned even more. I just wish I had an affirmative answer. Some articles on the unforgivable sin say it can't be committed by ANYONE today as other articles on the same subject say it can. I'm confused as to who is right.

beckyandretti · Post by **beckyandretti** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:12 am

Brian,

While I cant answer as to who is right I do want to echo Judah's advice of listening to your psychiatrist. In some of your posts (please know this in mo way indicates lack of respect to you or what you are going through) you seem to me to be a lot like my daughter. She also is constantly thinking, sometimes it seems to her detriment. Her 2nd grade teacher styled her an eclectic learner because she takes in so much information and that is the only way she can draw her own conclusions. She doesn't think in a lineal progression, I feel you probably do not either. This is the problem with so many people telling you that A leads to B leads to C. You are trying to think in the way they are telling you but your mind doesn't work in that fashion. Please listen to your psychiatrist and do what my daughter does when everything is crashing in at once. Find a quiet place and either write or draw, it will give your brain an outlet so that you can quiet it and get back to thinking a little more clearly. I'm in Oregon as well so if you need anything just let me know.
truelygreeneyes@yahoo.com

Rebecca

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:36 am

beckyandretti wrote:Brian,

While I cant answer as to who is right I do want to echo Judah's advice of listening to your psychiatrist. In some of your posts (please know this in mo way indicates lack of respect to you or what you are going through) you seem to me to be a lot like my daughter. She also is constantly thinking, sometimes it seems to her detriment. Her 2nd grade teacher styled her an eclectic learner because she takes in so much information and that is the only way she can draw her own conclusions. She doesn't think in a lineal progression, I feel you probably do not either. This is the problem with so many people telling you that A leads to B leads to C. You are trying to think in the way they are telling you but your mind doesn't work in that fashion. Please listen to your psychiatrist and do what my daughter does when everything is crashing in at once. Find a quiet place and either write or draw, it will give your brain an outlet so that you can quiet it and get back to thinking a little more clearly. I'm in Oregon as well so if you need anything just let me know.
truelygreeneyes@yahoo.com

Rebecca

Thank you Rebecca, I'm glad another Oregonian is here

. Anyways, I think in "tunnelvision" when it comes to problems. I can only concentrate on that, and I have been extra-concentrating on this blasphemy of the Holy Spirit problem, over 1 year to be exact, just constantly worried. My psychiatrist is Jewish, so he has no idea what I am talking about, although I do have a Christian counselor in the same building in NW Portland. My Christian counselor hasn't been much of help. He is a pastor of ten years though. I just see that no one really does research on a sin that is unforgivable, so I come prepared with questions with people that can help me that might know. I'm surprised there isn't much information on this super important topic in the sin area. Anyways, I added you to my Yahoo! IM as well as your e-mail address from the quote above to my Yahoo! IM, so if you accept me, I can chat with you

.

BGoodForGoodSake · Post by **BGoodForGoodSake** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:52 am

Your parents, are Athiests?

You need spiritual guidance. Go seek a pastor nearby. He will help you with your spiritual wounds which a psychiatrist may not see.

You will be in my thoughts.

Forgiveness, is a never-empty vessal, it does not run out.
If you have committed something wrong, make up for it, and ask for forgiveness. It is never too late. It can only be too late if you wish to do nothing.

Believer · Post by **Believer** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:19 pm

*DELETED BY THINKER*

BGoodForGoodSake · Post by **BGoodForGoodSake** » Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:04 am

Thinker wrote:
BGoodForGoodSake wrote:Your parents, are Athiests?

You need spiritual guidance. Go seek a pastor nearby. He will help you with your spiritual wounds which a psychiatrist may not see.

You will be in my thoughts.

Forgiveness, is a never-empty vessal, it does not run out.
If you have committed something wrong, make up for it, and ask for forgiveness. It is never too late. It can only be too late if you wish to do nothing.
No, my parents are not atheists, my brother probably is somewhat of one, but I still forgive him. I forgive all and I typically forget about the whole thing within minutes. My grudges are towards atheists that keep on claiming they are right, right, right, when their logic is illogical. They self contradict. Why claim to speak logic, when none is to be seen. That is kind you will keep me in your thoughts, but what help is that if it isn't prayer?

Don't be so busy with other peoples lives. Tend to your own and be a good son.