Boundaries and Identifying Safe People

[Kurieuo]

You know, a book with life changing advice I read many years ago was one called Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

If there is one issue I see in many people today, it is not understanding clearly where they end, or where someone else ends. Such that, they take on other people's problems and try to fix them, or they expect others to rescue them from their own issues.

It stems from all sorts of things in life. Hurts and pains people have caused us. Brokenness within the family or structure that we grew up within. But, whatever it is, it is so very important to understand healthy boundaries.

Second to that, to identify safe people. Here's a quote summary I came across:


If you haven't read any of these, then I implore you to get a copy of any and start reading. These are one of those books you pick up (well I picked up), and you want to read more. One of those books that allow you to reflect on your own life and people within it. And they contain very practical advice that will help anyone in life:

• Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
• Boundaries
• and if married, Boundaries in Marraige

[PaulSacramento]

Sometimes it is as simple as using common sense and other times it is a simple as listening to Our Lord speaking to us through that "little voice" we all hear.
Of course "simple" and "common sense" are never that simple or common nowadays.
Too much noise...

[Nessa]

Sometimes it is as simple as using common sense and other times it is a simple as listening to Our Lord speaking to us through that "little voice" we all hear.
Of course "simple" and "common sense" are never that simple or common nowadays.
Too much noise...

I think the listening to the "little voice" of God is key.

Common sense is great but common sense can also hinder us from doing what God wants us to do...take for example in Acts 9: 10 - 19

Basically Ananias was telling God that Saul was an 'unsafe' person. Now although, this is not in terms of a full on relationship I think its still worth considering as vaild here. Ananias didnt want Saul anywhere near him physically cos of the potential risk to himself. Ananias wanted a physical boundary. He was using his "common sense".

But I believe God, at times, may call us out of our comfort zone to minister or have some sort of relationship even with an unsafe person. Even at the risk of having our own usual boundries compromised. Many times He may not though. And real Godly wisdom is needed to make sure we arent making ourselves unsafe unnecessarily. But again, sometimes we need to leave our common sense at the door and heed that voice.