Christianity & Divorce

[Nessa]

And no, Im not getting one..

But I would like to know what you guys think about Christianity and Divorce?

[Nessa]

Bet this thread would be hot if I had said I was getting one..

I shouldn't really joke though.

Ok, so what reasons do you think are acceptable for divorce?
I know a lovely married christian couple who have both previously been divorced.
She was physically abused by her ex and the guy's ex walked out on him.

Do you think God could possibly see those circumstances as allowable for divorce as
well as remarriage?

[Kurieuo]

If you're gay, married and become Christian then it'd be alright to divorce.
As a straight and married man I don't think that's fair!

[tunde1992]

Matthew 19:9

To that list would obviously be physical abuse.

[Nessa]

If you're gay, married and become Christian then it'd be alright to divorce.
As a straight and married man I don't think that's fair!

And if you did ever become gay after marriage, well now that would seem even more unfair maybe

I actually think all of us could potentially become gay. Some would deny that but given certain circumstances and change of feelings, we are all potentially capable of any sin - even the sins that the bad people commit

But thats way off topic.

[Nessa]

Matthew 19:9

To that list would obviously be physical abuse.

I don't agree.
I believe in long term seperation under those circumstances.
Who is to say that person may not change?
And I question the marital unfaithfulness bit cos Ive heard some people talk about that as a cultural thing...the time of betrothal before the actual marriage. Need to do more research.

Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church. PRETTY TALL order and thats why the disciples shrunk away a bit when Jesus talked about marriage.

Now I could be wrong but I would have to hear it from God first.

[Kurieuo]

More important I think are the more practical and natural consequences.

If you divorce then God won't take away the natural consequences of your having been united to another.
Just like if you jump off a cliff, God isn't going to take away the natural consequences of gravity.

Sadly, gravity equally applies to little toddlers who may not know better when playing near a cliff's edge.
Sadly, the natural uniting of man and woman (marriage) equally applies to violent marriages (or marriages with sexual immorality) where separating isn't ideal but likely necessary.

The way I see matters, is that there is really no such thing as divorce except in legal terms.
And so, in Matthew Jesus is saying legally divorce should be allowed in cases of immorality, otherwise it should be treated as adultery if the man leaves to "unite" himself to another woman.

Interestingly, the Pharisees find an adulterous. Trying to corner Jesus with his own words perhaps. (John 8:6) Pointing out that the legal consequences of her sin is stoning. To which Jesus responds amidst doodling in the dirt with his finger, those without sin should cast the first stone. (John 8:7) They all leave, before he turns to her saying no one including himself condemns her, but go and sin no more.

[Nessa]

I had a Christian friend who ended up divorced...she would say to me how lucky I was to be in a perfect marriage...now that would annoy me big time. Like thats the reason why I was still married...like she had an excuse of sorts for her own marriage breakdown.

No marriage is perfect. No one knows what happens behind closed doors.

But I do know there but for the grace of God, I go

[PaulSacramento]

Outside of adultery, Our Lord said that it is wrong to divorce.
BUT, the issue really isn't divorce.
Under God marriage is the most sacred "institution", it was the first one ever created by God ( Adam and Eve) and the first commandment by God:
Genesis 2:
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

The seriousness of marriage can NOT be overstated and the reason divorce is wrong is NOT to keep people together that are unhappy BUT to instill the very, very serious understanding of what marriage TRULY is.

Too many people get married "just because", too many believe that it is just "another thing" they can do, to walk away from if things don't go the way they want them to.

[Philip]

Kurieuo: If you're gay, married and become Christian then it'd be alright to divorce. As a straight and married man I don't think that's fair!

What about if you were a he/and are NOW a she, married to a (you fill in the blank) ______________?

Serious curiosity: If you married BEFORE you became a Christian and your spouse was also not a Christian - this would not be a marriage put together by God - so, if you are already divorced from such a union and subsequently become a Christian, can you not marry again (THIS time in the eyes of God)? Although, in some respect, God must consider marriages not united by God/between Believers: Jesus said to the woman at the well, "you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband." So, was He simply referring to what the WOMAN would have considered her marriages to have been?

[RickD]

And no, Im not getting one..

But I would like to know what you guys think about Christianity and Divorce?

What do I think about Christianity and divorce?

Well, I like Christianity, and I don't like divorce.

[Nessa]

Kurieuo: If you're gay, married and become Christian then it'd be alright to divorce. As a straight and married man I don't think that's fair!

What about if you were a he/and are NOW a she, married to a (you fill in the blank) ______________?

Serious curiosity: If you married BEFORE you became a Christian and your spouse was also not a Christian - this would not be a marriage put together by God - so, if you are already divorced from such a union and subsequently become a Christian, can you not marry again (THIS time in the eyes of God)? Although, in some respect, God must consider marriages not united by God/between Believers: Jesus said to the woman at the well, "you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband." So, was He simply referring to what the WOMAN would have considered her marriages to have been?

Whoa whoa whoa
Not the same.
Marriage is between one man and one woman.

Im not so sure you can just go out and marry again so easily in Gods eyes..

There was this other lady in my old church who said she could remarry...
No condemnation in God, right? Its there in romans uh huh...sure...twist...twist..

[Kurieuo]

Kurieuo: If you're gay, married and become Christian then it'd be alright to divorce. As a straight and married man I don't think that's fair!

What about if you were a he/and are NOW a she, married to a (you fill in the blank) ______________?

Serious curiosity: If you married BEFORE you became a Christian and your spouse was also not a Christian - this would not be a marriage put together by God - so, if you are already divorced from such a union and subsequently become a Christian, can you not marry again (THIS time in the eyes of God)? Although, in some respect, God must consider marriages not united by God/between Believers: Jesus said to the woman at the well, "you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband." So, was He simply referring to what the WOMAN would have considered her marriages to have been?

I think people misunderstand "marriage".
Think about what the word "marrying" means in other contexts.
For example, two pieces of wood being married together with wood glue.

The way God naturally designed us is to be married to another -- man and woman united as one.
Paul argues for this reason we should not sleep with prostitutes, "for the two will become one flesh." (1 Cor 6:16)
Something physical and spiritual happens in the way God designed us to work.
And there is nothing preventing a Christian joining to a non-Christian.
Everything is before God's eyes, and He'll see you as married.

The story you refer to of the woman with five husbands is an interesting one.
Who knows if that woman actually officially had five husbands, or whether she was more de facto like her current "husband". Did Jesus admit that he was wrong about her current "husband" or just acknowledge she was right that he actually wasn't her husband in society? Did Jesus use his own initial meaning of "husband" to apply it to the five men before her current boyfriend, or were those five husbands actually officially her husbands?

What I read in Scripture, is that when a man and woman come together they are one.
Sexual intimacy is how such is designed and represented in the physical.
Then there is the emotional and mental (spiritual) attachments.
"Marriage" is embedded in the framework of our creation.

And that is also why "gay marriage" doesn't mean sense.
At least, not in the natural design of things. Don't blame me or religion for that,
either blame Nature or God -- depending on what you believe.

[Philip]

Ah, K, but as this says, " 9Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" - I take that to mean that 1) marriage is a spiritual union that 2) GOD has "joined together."

So, surely we're not equating a "marriage" between two unequally yoked persons (where at least one of the two is an unbeliever) as being a union that GOD has joined together. Now, of course, Paul said to not divorce if you are a believer and married to an unbeliever. But I'm pondering the issue of a person that has divorced, became a Christian afterward, can he not marry? Or a believer whose spouse has abandoned him?

Issues discussed here: http://www.gotquestions.org/remarriage-adultery.html

I sure would hate to have to wrestle with this situation.

[Nessa]

So.what if two christians get married and God doesnt want them too...maybe he wants one to be a single missionary worker. God may not want to join them together any more than a unequally yoked couple.