Sex Education for your kids

[Nessa]

My kids are still pretty young...
But the day will soon be here when they reach puberty and all that really fun stuff

Obviously if you're a Christian parent you are going to bring them up
with God's plan for sex.

But what if your teen son or daughter is having sex despite what you say.
What about contraception? What about pregnancy risks? STD risks?
What if they say 'Mum, dad, Im gay'?
What if your pregnant teen wants an abortion? Or the girlfriend does?

I think it's important to talk about this kind of stuff as Christian parents

[RickD]

Get rid of that creepy pedophile clown avatar picture. Then we can talk.

[Nessa]

Get rid of that creepy pedophile clown avatar picture. Then we can talk.

[Philip]

Yes, what's with the clown on stilts?

[Storyteller]

My kids are still pretty young...
But the day will soon be here when they reach puberty and all that really fun stuff

Obviously if you're a Christian parent you are going to bring them up
with God's plan for sex.

But what if your teen son or daughter is having sex despite what you say.
What about contraception? What about pregnancy risks? STD risks?
What if they say 'Mum, dad, Im gay'?
What if your pregnant teen wants an abortion? Or the girlfriend does?

I think it's important to talk about this kind of stuff as Christian parents

I have always talked to my daughter about sex and love. She asks, I tell her.
She's 10, knows about condoms and contraception.
She knows what I believe and why.

I am extremely lucky, we talk, all the time.

She knows its her decision, she knows the risks, she knows I will support her.

I would rather her bring her boyfriend (or gf if thats the case) home, safe, than steal away somewhere.

[Nessa]

Yes, what's with the clown on stilts?

What do you think, Phil?
How did you handle this sorta stuff with your kids?

[RickD]

Yes, what's with the clown on stilts?

What do you think, Phil?
How did you handle this sorta stuff with your kids?

I'm not Phil, but as far as handling this stuff with my son, I simply kept him away from pedo clowns. Especially perverted clowns on stilts.

[Philip]

When my boys were about 7 or 8, I told them just about everything - from what a Godly sex life should be (fun, enjoyable, joyous, a spiritual uniting, bonding, etc.), the basics of the mechanics involved, about perversion, pedophiles, homosexuality, just about EVERYTHING. And, because I told them so young, it really wasn't such a big deal. But I can remember my youngest, upon learning about pedophiles, saying, "Dad, it's a messed up world!" Somewhat later, I explained what MB IS. And so, at an age in which all of their peers still ferverently believed in Santa Claus, they knew more about sex than Most kids do at a MUCH later age.

Both of my boys have been taught a sex-positive message that states that sex is a wonderful God-given gift, of which misuse/abuse/sinful sexual expression can ruin your life and that of others, can bring unplanned children into difficult circumstances, that it is ONLY for a married MAN and WOMAN. They know what condoms and birth control are. They know all about STDs, HIV, etc. They know that God's ideal isn't for unmarried/ uncommitted persons to have children. IF, God forbid, they cannot resist waiting for marriage, they at least have been taught all they need to know. They know contraception isn't 100% foolproof. I've stressed that they NEVER even date a girl that is not a Christian - a word of advice I personally should have heeded! Following it will avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

Um, I never taught them to believe Santa was real, either. I wanted my kids to be realists from a young age, to be informed. My 12-year-old knows more about apologetics than most Christians in their 20s do.

That enough, Nessa?

[Nessa]

When my boys were about 7 or 8, I told them just about everything - from what a Godly sex life should be (fun, enjoyable, joyous, a spiritual uniting, bonding, etc.), the basics of the mechanics involved, about perversion, pedophiles, homosexuality, just about EVERYTHING. And, because I told them so young, it really wasn't such a big deal. But I can remember my youngest, upon learning about pedophiles, saying, "Dad, it's a messed up world!" Somewhat later, I explained what MB IS. And so, at an age in which all of their peers still ferverently believed in Santa Claus, they knew more about sex than Most kids do at a MUCH later age.

Both of my boys have been taught a sex-positive message that states that sex is a wonderful God-given gift, of which misuse/abuse/sinful sexual expression can ruin your life and that of others, can bring unplanned children into difficult circumstances, that it is ONLY for a married MAN and WOMAN. They know what condoms and birth control are. They know all about STDs, HIV, etc. They know that God's ideal isn't for unmarried/ uncommitted persons to have children. IF, God forbid, they cannot resist waiting for marriage, they at least have been taught all they need to know. They know contraception isn't 100% foolproof. I've stressed that they NEVER even date a girl that is not a Christian - a word of advice I personally should have heeded! Following it will avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

Um, I never taught them to believe Santa was real, either. I wanted my kids to be realists from a young age, to be informed. My 12-year-old knows more about apologetics than most Christians in their 20s do.

That enough, Nessa?

I feel really innocent right now
Cos what the heck is MB IS...oh !! Nevermind!! Lol! I thought the IS were initials too.

Im laughing, tears even
Im dying my hair brown tomorrow

[Kurieuo]

My kids are still pretty young...
But the day will soon be here when they reach puberty and all that really fun stuff

Obviously if you're a Christian parent you are going to bring them up
with God's plan for sex.

But what if your teen son or daughter is having sex despite what you say.
What about contraception? What about pregnancy risks? STD risks?
What if they say 'Mum, dad, Im gay'?
What if your pregnant teen wants an abortion? Or the girlfriend does?

I think it's important to talk about this kind of stuff as Christian parents

I reflected, and I think it more important to understand what society says or tells us.
That is, what apparently is the social consensus across these topics? What would the media in our countries generally tell us? What is/would the government or our schools want to teach our kids? Is it right? Does it miss the mark? Why or why not?

THAT, is what I'd educate my kids about.
Because, there is a whole lot loaded in those "innocent" questions.
Such that in answer them front on one is immediately trying to escape from a nose dive if they stick to unpopular truths. BUT, they're questions society generally asks and we hear often which can make many Christians shrink back in their seat. So it is good to deal with them, or know how to. Sometimes the best answer isn't always to answer a loaded or complex question, but the flip the questioning around to unpack what is there.

So... much better to put the embedded "popular" social opinion on the hot seat. As such...

Firstly, it is sad that not all Christian parents have a correct understanding themselves, or live up to a godly standard. We all live in society, and society guides Christians the most. There is a reason why there apparently isn't much difference in sexual liberalism, divorce or abortion whether Christian or non-Christian.

So, what would society say about your child having sex? It's alright. You just got to teach them to practice it safely. Is there really anything such as "safe sex"? What about promiscuous sex? What about the psychological affects being with many partners? What affect will such have on any future marriage? What if you or your partner falls pregnant? What of the physicals effects like STDs or the like? What about oral sex? Are we just physical beings. Should we just enjoy such things without much care? Is it always true that if it feels good, we should just do it?

Re: homosexuality, straight, bi-, is our identity attached to what we do with our penis or vaginas? Does our sexual attraction define us? What if my 20 year old son comes home and says he's sexually attracted to 13 year olds? Who are we? Do we ever have a say in our behaviour? Do we have the power to change who we are, or are we just animals just fulfilling what chemical processes have determined for us? Are we what we do as behaviourists think, or is there more to us?

Why is abortion acceptable and legal? What are the different stages of abortion? Why is it all just called abortion, including the so-named "after-birth abortions". Biologically, are we killing human life? What does the science tell us? Is human life inherently valuable, or is such value something society agrees upon and assigns? Would we be ok with our Mother choosing to abort us at 8 weeks? 12 weeks? 20 weeks? 26 week? Partially birthed? What are the procedures involved? Is there such thing as "safe" abortions for women when women are often rushed to hospital and sometimes die?

Hmm.

[Philip]

To me, the "safe" sex message is unreal. I mean, people are willing to risk that a thin piece of rubber is going to protect them from potential life-long or life-THREATENING diseases? UNREAL! And condoms can break. At a microscopic level, how PERFECTLY non-pourous are they? And next to NO couple gets tested before beginning a sexual relationship.

If you were to ask a person would they still have sex with a person who was HIV positive because a condom would make it no big deal, I'd imagine very few would. But the same people take that risk all the time because they have sex with people they haven't a clue about their health.

Anyway, I've taught my boys that they will have no worries, fears or illness if they do things God's way, and they date only people with the same God-honoring desire AND actions - this in a world that is a sexual disease minefield.

[melanie]

We have to be level headed and keep it age appropriate for our children.
We need to know what is relevant for our teens.
Keep it simple stupid is not such a bad surmise.
They do not need to know the deeper questions of morality in regards to abortion, homosexuality, ect.
I have deep respect for the intellectual capacity of my kids, like mother like children but they are little ones. I talk extensively with my children but I am forever mindful of the immature, and purety of their mindset.
I want my kids to be as innocent as possible until that day has past.
I am not a prude. I am open with my children. My son started puberty at 9 so, I had to talk openly and honestly with him and his sister.
Always keeping discussion open.
That is pretty confronting from an honest, no bullcrap mum. You ask me a question i will respect that with an honest answer.
How many parents tell our children do as I say not as I have done!
We expect more from them than what we were able.

I don't like hypocrisy.
Kids spot it from a mile away.
They want honesty.
Very difficult when most adults are not honest with ourselves.
We want our children to act as we would like them too, rather than act according to their failures and life lessons. Because they will only learn not from lectures but from life experience.
It's so easy coming from our generation, we lived the pitfalls. So as parents we want our kids to avoid such.
But the only way to learn is to fail.
They will stuff up.
They will live outside our expectations as we all lived outside our parents expectations.
The only way to grow is to stumble.
We have to give our kids the room to make mistakes.
Of course we guide and steer them in love but not in authority or combativeness because children become young adults whom form their free will and opinion separate to our own.

That has to be respected.
We need to hear our children.
Listen to them.
I don't always agree but I am damn more impressed with an opinion than with ambiguity.

[Storyteller]

Great post Mel!

My daughter asked me a little while ago why it was important to be married before having sex, especially as I was with her dad a while before we got married. She wanted to know if it still goes if she doesn`t believe in God. She says she doesn`t believe in God at the moment as she is too busy living and at 10 she doesn`t feel it`s something she needs to think about yet.
I told her that her faith is something she needs to explore (or not) that it was her decision and that sex should be a physical expression of love, a union not just something to do because you feel you should or because of peer pressure.

[melanie]

Thanks Annette and I totally get that.
My son has been going through the same thing,
He told me he wasn't sure if God exist.
It is so typical for their ages, they are exploring and working out their own mindset.
We can't substitute our beliefs for theirs.
We can't push it on them.
They need the freedom and subtle guidance to get there on their own terms and within their own time.

[Storyteller]

Thanks Annette and I totally get that.
My son has been going through the same thing,
He told me he wasn't sure if God exist.
It is so typical for their ages, they are exploring and working out their own mindset.
We can't substitute our beliefs for theirs.
We can't push it on them.
They need the freedom and subtle guidance to get there on their own terms and within their own time.

Absolutely agree.

Scares me if I`m honest though. What if she denies God? What then? I can`t make her believe.
I just pray that she finds her own way to God. She`s a sensible, thoughtful little soul so I trust in God.
She has recently started asking questions about my faith and God so it`s a start.