Are men more sexual than women?

[Nessa]

Nessa, you should know better that to ever attempt having a serious conversation with Rick, concerning certain topics: Women, samwiches, faith healers, liberals, etc.

In secular society, women often don't feel as confident in being expressively sexual, because they get labeled as being loose, or sluts, etc. Yet, society doesn't look down on sexually "progressive" men in the same way, or as much. HUGE hypocrisy and double standards over sinful behaviors outside of marriage. Of course, publicly NO one should be sexually open - that's for behind closed doors, and God said it's for marriage ONLY. People are individuals - some more in touch with their sexual side than others. God invented sex! He DESIGNED us for sex. He says sex is GOOD, IMPORTANT, and should not be denied one's spouse. Song of Solomon, so much of it, is about understanding and reveling in the physical side of love. Our God-given sexuality is meant to give us a sense of wonder, excitement, physical pleasure, and more. In it's rightful place, privately, we should all try our best to rock our spouse's world. We should ALL think sexually - ALL of the time. There is nothing worse than a Christian spouse who is a prude in the bedroom. Of course, a good sexual marriage starts outside of the bedroom, relationally, how we think about pursuing our spouse sexually, as well as also serving them in other ways. Christians should all be the most creative lovers of all people - always looking to make that side of our lives more and more exciting, interesting and satisfying. Sadly, many Christians don't understand this. They have all manner of hangups. And many fail to adequately discuss their sexual expectations with their future spouse before marriage. So many (men and women) become gatekeepers and cold fish, they neglect their sex lives to their own detriment and happiness, and that of their spouses.

Um, my wife needs me right now, gotta go!

Yes, tricky ricky...

Phil, I know you posted with the best of intentions but as someone who has in the past fallen under some of your criticisms from the above, I suggest being careful when speaking in broad terms. Alot of people out there have hang ups and alot of condemnation can bring unnecessary shame.

It's all very well to say a Christian should be like this or that..

But compassion and empathy need to be had too, before we judge why someone is how they are or have been in the past.

[RickD]

I think there is truth to what you are saying.

But I also think women are quite capable of being perverted without men's help due to the fallen nature in both men and women

Nope. Men are pigs. The sooner you learn that truth, the better off your life will be.

So even Christian men are pigs to you?

Men, all men, are pigs. A Christian man is just a pig with lipstick and fancy clothes. Looks good on the outside, but still a filthy pig on the inside.

So your wife is married to a good lookin' pig?

I never knew you wore lipstick...

Good lookin' pig? No. Just an ordinary pig.

And the lipstick and fancy clothes are just metaphors for Christians who pretend to look good to others, while being pigs on the inside.

[Philip]

Ness: But as someone who has in the past fallen under some of your criticisms from the above, I suggest being careful when speaking in broad terms. Alot of people out there have hang ups and alot of condemnation can bring unnecessary shame.

What ARE you on about, Ness? How have I criticized you that you are upset over - particularly over this subject - which, BTW, YOU introduced?

Nessa: But compassion and empathy need to be had too, before we judge why someone is how they are or have been in the past.

I am clueless as to how what I wrote has to do with some supposed lack of compassion and empathy? We all have pasts. We all have things to work on. What are you on about???!!! Not to mention, how and why did you make what I wrote about some supposed criticism of you or anyone else? Are you having a bad day/night down there? What?

[Nessa]

Ness: But as someone who has in the past fallen under some of your criticisms from the above, I suggest being careful when speaking in broad terms. Alot of people out there have hang ups and alot of condemnation can bring unnecessary shame.

What ARE you on about, Ness? How have I criticized you that you are upset over - particularly over this subject - which, BTW, YOU introduced?

Nessa: But compassion and empathy need to be had too, before we judge why someone is how they are or have been in the past.

I am clueless as to how what I wrote has to do with some supposed lack of compassion and empathy? We all have pasts. We all have things to work on. What are you on about???!!! Not to mention, how and why did you make what I wrote about some supposed criticism of you or anyone else? Are you having a bad day/night down there? What?

I find comments such as "Nothing worse than a prude in the bedroom" rather insensitive and ignorant. But perhaps I have misjudged your attitude?

I have known couples who have struggled majorily in this area (even in some ways, myself) and also am well aware of other people who are quick to talk out off ignorance on the subject. You sorta came off that way to me but i apologise tho if I misjudged you.

[Philip]

Nessa: I find comments such as "Nothing worse than a prude in the bedroom" rather insensitive and ignorant. But perhaps I have misjudged your attitude?

YES you DID misjudge me!!!

My post was meant to be an ENCOURAGEMENT of what our sexual lives SHOULD strive for, not necessarily where any one of us is, at the moment. As for my "prude" comment - that relates NOT to one being comfortable with just any and every practice or activity - we all have our comfort zones. And maybe I could have used a better word - but it was meant to convey what many don't have - which is a certain kind of healthy, Godly, SERVANT ATTITUDE towards our spouses sexually, and to have a positive, joyful, and Biblical understanding of what God meant for us sexually. Instead of celebrating it, wanting to make it better, MANY Christians are very negative to what SHOULD be a very healthy attitude about it. Or their spouse is negative. Or both are. Many marriages are sexless. Whatever one's reality, sex was meant to be a fun, knitting together, mutual adventure that is joyously pursued - not something to fear, dread or be a "gatekeeper" over (this applies to MEN as well!). These are part of what I meant by "being a prude in the bedroom," that is a terrible thing.

So, how do we move toward what God intended? First to acknowledge and understand it for what GOD intended our married sexuality to be, what it could be and should be, given the right HEARTS and ATTITUDES. A "prudeful" view, as I define it, has a negative view and attitude towards sex - as, UNLESS there is abuse, unloving behavior, coercion, hurtful things - should not be the case. But beyond those negatives, prudeful attitudes often produce withholding, unwillingness to to desire to meet their spouses (reasonable) desires. Of course personal histories and relational circumstances can negatively impact that. And how our sexuality plays out isn't going to look the same in every Christian bedroom. Again, we all have comfort zones and challenges. But my comment was in no way to disrespect or look down on anyone with such challenges, or present or past hurts. As well, we can only control our own hearts, attitudes and actions - and our spouse may or may not have the right attitudes and heart.

Ness, I'd really prefer if you have a future issue with something you are unsure of, please PM me before you pull out your public daggers! You seem to get offended very easily, sometimes. When people are obviously negative or hurtful publicly, I understand when people respond to such.

Ness: I have known couples who have struggled majorily in this area and also am well aware of other people who are quick to talk out off ignorance on the subject. You sorta came off that way to me but i apologise tho if I misjudged you.

I've probably thought and studied this issue, from a MINISTRY perspective, a good bit more than anyone here. Many, understandably, are trapped by their unhealed pasts or dysfunctional presents, in this area. OF COURSE! I am FAR from ignorant over this subject! Pornography, abusive pasts, negative family upbringings concerning sexuality, promiscuous pasts, unScriptural understandings of it - these can all trap people unless they (and their spouses) seek the proper counseling and prayerful healing and time that these things take. But my post wasn't about these, NOR was it meant to be insensitive over them.

[Nessa]

Do I get offended easily? Yes sometimes

Did I misunderstand you? It seems so and I apologised.

Did I pull out daggers? Not really in light of many peoples posts here at the forum.

If you want to single me though thats your choice.

[Philip]

Not really in light of many peoples posts here at the forum.

If you want to single me though thats your choice.

[Kurieuo]

Don't mind Philip, he is just a guy. We're all insensitive pigs.

[RickD]

Don't mind Philip, he is just a guy. We're all insensitive pigs.

Speak for yourself! I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.

[Philip]

Don't mind Philip, he is just a guy. We're all insensitive pigs.

Apparently!

[Kenny]

This is following on from one if the polygamy threads.

I think there can be misconceptions about men being more sexual etc?

What do you think?

I think culture itself has had a great bearing on this. But the more sexually 'free' women become in society the more it feels like the tide is turning. And perhaps its just revealing what has always been there.

But I'm sure plenty will disagree.

I voted "yes". I think there is a reason women on average are more likely to condemn their sisters for sexual promiscuity, when compared to men condemning their brothers.

Ken

[Kurieuo]

Search online, and you'll find the common frustration amongst men in marriage is sexual intimacy whereas women tend to feel men should be more understanding that they can't just be in the mood at their whim. Husbands generally feel loved and accepted through sex (and sandwiches), women generally can feel loved through kisses, cuddles, talking and feeling desirable.

[Kurieuo]

Nessa, perhaps you have in mind this in relation to pressing perhaps women are just as sexual as men?

Warning: Explicit language. Video may also contain triggers requiring "safe zones" if you're SJW inclined.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckmXie8C0A0

[Nessa]

I feel cheated by your clip... Didnt even get to see miley twerk!

Yes, that is part of what I'm getting at and I agree with what the guy said up to a point...

I am also trying to look closer at stereotypes with this thread..

The old 'Men are visually stimulated while women....." type of ones... Its just not true from what real life can show.

Heres a light hearted clip to show this...

[Kurieuo]

Are you trying to confess a a little of your own being "visual stimulated" Nessa? I notice you're always online, people who are always online often have an addiction to err... speaking of which, time for me to get offline.

PS. Lucky Trump didn't walk by or he'd have grabbed him by the pussy.