I need help with forgiveness

[thatkidakayoungguy]

It's hard to forgive some people. But I know it's better to do so, but the old memories keep popping up. Serious answers only.

[Philip]

Do YOU want to heal of the wounds people have caused you? Then quit carrying them around. Forgiveness helps heal. Give it over to the Lord, ask Him to take from you the burden you carry. Oh, and forgiving doesn't mean you FORGET the transgression, it just means you aren't going to hold them accountable, you're gonna let it go. Put it in God's hands. Because a huge impact of forgiveness is to be found upon the person doing the forgiving. Wild how that works, eh?

[PaulSacramento]

Philip is quite correct.
Forgiveness is not a gift to those that transgress against us, it is a gift TO OURSELVES so those people and what they did, no longer have any hold over us.
Also, we forgive because He forgave Us first.
It is hard to forgive BUT remember that BEFORE YOU do anything that will require someone to forgive YOU.

[thatkidakayoungguy]

thanks

[Kurieuo]

The one thing forgiveness does not mean, is accepting an unsafe and unchanged person back into your life. So don't think that by forgiving, you must pretend the past never happened or that everything is now fine such that you ought to accept them back into your life. Safe boundaries are equally important alongside forgiveness.

Rather, you forgive (in effect "release") them of "sin" or evil committed against you. As a Christian, even understand we all sin against God and need forgiveness ourselves. Because we're forgiven in Christ, placing any form of desired retributive action in God's hands and through an understanding of Christ's unmerited forgiveness for us, simply allowing forgiveness to overflow onto others. Then should they acknowledge and repent to you, being able to fulfill the transaction of forgiveness by giving it to them.

More often than not, the person who has wronged us won't even acknowledge it. Many simply will not/cannot immediately see their wrong, have pride, an ego, or perhaps don't care to change their ways. Yet, as much as it depends upon you and in accordance with your own stability and frame-of-mind, you should work through your grievances with the person, and depending upon the seriousness with a neutral third-party present. In all likelihood, they won't want to do such since it means acknowledging they've wronged you. Thankfully our "letting go" and forgiving others doesn't require their assent.

[Hortator]

This isn't in the bible, but I still like it.

"To forgive someone is to free a prisoner. Later on, you realize that prisoner was yourself."

[abelcainsbrother]

It's hard to forgive some people. But I know it's better to do so, but the old memories keep popping up. Serious answers only.

Forgiveness is for your own benefit when it comes to your relationship with God.However just because you forgive someone does not mean you forget it until they repent of the wrong they have done to you.You are not required to be friends and associate yourself with people like that.The bible gives us wisdom on what kind of friends we should choose,husbands,wives,etc and so it is important to choose wisely who you associate yourself with.It is even better to be lonely than to associate yourself with certian people if it is only going to bring you down.Jesus said you shall know them by their fruits and in order to do this there must be judgment based on God's wisdom.