So Hortense sent me a PM.

[edwardmurphy]

And this is it:

I was actually amused by you when you first joined. That's over now. I'm going to start start continuously trying to get you fired from whatever pathetic, degrading, minimum-wage jobs you can manage to find after the PTA kicks you to the curb. You'd better get used to mindless, underpaid shitkicking work fit for ex-convicts and drug addicts, because I'm going to ensure every single workplace you ever manage to find yourself in becomes aware of you. If they continue to employ you I'm going to singlehandedly astroturf them with letter-writing campaigns and SEO-bomb their brand name with shocking exposes on the type of person they hire.

I'm not going to stop there, though. I'm going to go after your wife. I'm going to go after your parents. And children, the ones you didn't actually abort. I'm going to go after every single member of your extended family, your friends, I'm going to dox and ruin anyone who so much as leaves you an encouraging message on your facebook. I'm going to pay to have the graves of your ancestors visited by craigslist whores and pissed on. I am going to devote hours of every day in my worthless, empty life to making you suffer, and I'm going to do this relentlessly for decades, and I'm going to call in all my chips and have all of the heaviest hitters here join me in this relentless crusade. I am going to turn your entire existence into a never-ending carousel of being [love] with in every way it's possible to anonymously [love] with a person within the confines of the law, and I am never, ever going to stop because I am a severely autistic sociopath with no sense of proportion and nothing better to do with my life

I'm honestly perplexed by the level of hostility displayed, but the fact remains that this message is a series of direct threats.

Hortense, I'll be keeping copies of the PM and of the threat you made in the post in this thread. If you attempt to track me down and destroy my life, as you've threatened to do, I will use whatever means are necessary to defend myself and my family. I advise you to find a hobby that has nothing to do with me.

[Philip]

Just saw this (in bed on my phone) and it's quite disturbing - there's absolutely no excuse for it! Will deal with it tomorrow. It's the opposite of how a Christian is COMMANDED to treat others and some type of ban WILL follow - and likely permanent! Hortense has lost his mind!

[Hortator]

I'm honestly perplexed by the level of hostility displayed, but the fact remains that this message is a series of direct threats.

Hortense, I'll be keeping copies of the PM and of the threat you made in the post in this thread. If you attempt to track me down and destroy my life, as you've threatened to do, I will use whatever means are necessary to defend myself and my family. I advise you to find a hobby that has nothing to do with me.

I promise I wont. I got unbelievably drunk last night as a poor way to cope with stress, copied and pasted most of that from a different website, and regret it now.

I have a lot of problems. I should have just asked for an admin deletion before I let it get this far.

I have no intention of coming back. I was wrong, and it was an empty gesture so don’t worry about it.

[RickD]

Hortator,

You seriously need to get some help.

I’m not sure you grasp the seriousness of this issue.

[Hortator]

Hortator,

You seriously need to get some help.

I’m not sure you grasp the seriousness of this issue.

I know, I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I promise to never return. I’m a mess. Delete me.

[Hortator]

I cannot convey how sorry I am and how much I wish I could take back what I said. Allow me to help you all to resolve this quickly.

I am mortified at myself

[edwardmurphy]

I promise I wont. I got unbelievably drunk last night as a poor way to cope with stress, copied and pasted most of that from a different website, and regret it now.

I have a lot of problems. I should have just asked for an admin deletion before I let it get this far.

I have no intention of coming back. I was wrong, and it was an empty gesture so don’t worry about it.

Hortense, I'm going to interpret this as an apology, which I accept. This isn't the first time that you've been angry about some of my comments, but honestly that doesn't concern me. We discuss contentious issues here, and over the years we've all become entrenched in our positions and come to expect entrenchment from others. Sometimes we get angry. I've never taken it personally. The threats are a concern. I didn't and don't regard them as plausible, but when I see a threat to my family my instinct is to hit back with everything I can bring to bear. That's not something that can happen again. Ever.

The part that concerns me most at this point is your mental health. You might be aware that I've worked with a lot of kids with mental illness. You might also know that a 3 years ago we lost my cousin to suicide. She was 20. It's difficult to express the devastation that her death caused among her friends and family. What you don't know is that I've also had some extreme lows of my own, to the point that my presence here on earth can be attributed to sheer stubbornness as much as anything. Consequently, although my first instinct was to destroy you, my second is to try to help. I have nothing to offer you directly because, to be frank, I can never know with certainty whether you were sincere last night or this morning, but I can at least offer a little advice.

No matter how bad things get, it gets better. Part of getting to a better place is taking care of yourself. Try to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise. That last one is critical. A hard workout will release endorphins, and over time you'll also lose weight, get stronger, and feel better. I imagine that there are people and activities in your life that have brought you joy, or at least comfort, in the past. You need to reconnect with them. If church helps then go. If you can't go then find a reverend who will talk to you on Skype or something. Join a Bible study group or a book club or something. And finally, seek mental health counseling. Seeking help is not weakness, it's self awareness and strength. Weaknesses is insisting that you can do it all on your own because you're too scared, angry, or proud to seek help. Take care of yourself. It gets better.

Admins, I appreciate your support. Thank you. When I read that PM my first instinct was to protect myself. My second thought was to destroy Hortense. My third thought, which I shared with Phil last night and still stand by this morning, is that it's better to try and help Hortense than to banish him. I've already offered everything I can in that regard, but perhaps the rest of you have something to offer him by way of Christian counsel and fellowship. If you feel that a ban is unavoidable then please give it a set duration and let Hortense know when he is permitted to return.

For myself, I think that I will take some time away from here. As I mentioned above, we're all entrenched in our views and suspicious of gambits and subtext. As such, our communication is rarely fruitful. Maybe a bit of time apart will be good for us all.

Thanks

[Hortator]

Thanks

Thanks to you as well...you are a better man than I am.

I can't collect my thoughts at the moment, but I know what I did was horrible. I will try to do some of the things you suggested, like exercise. It is the summer solstice after all, you can't ask for better weather.

[edwardmurphy]

you are a better man than I am

Perhaps. More likely I'm just in a better place. We all have our struggles. You're probably feeling like a jackass right now, but don't wallow in it. You owned your mistake. I accepted your apology. Now it's time to move on. Find one thing that you can do today, right now, that will make your life better, and do it. Right now. Clean your house, reconnect with a friend, call your pastor, shower and shave, go for a run, get a haircut, or whatever. I'm not going to pretend that I trust you, but I forgive you your mistake. Stop apologizing and work on forgiving yourself, not so much for some dumb internet comments, but for all of the other reasons that you're torturing yourself. Do something positive. Get some momentum. Get some help. It gets better.

[Philip]

I was very busy on Saturday, so I've not had time to implement the ban. My first instinct, as people were threatened, is a permanent ban - and we have two mods in favor, and no response yet from the others. Believe me, a permanent ban would be well deserved. The idea that one's words are powerful enough for someone to threat them and their family - even if copied from somewhere else - those are words (apparently copied) inspired by a serious hater of totally evil influence. Some people are losing their minds over politics, but it's still inexcusable and won't be tolerated here.

Hortator has shown obvious and apparently serious remorse - and Ed has shown tremendous grace - even concern - at such a hideous action. In fact, Ed could have contacted authorities over such a threat - and I wouldn't have blamed him for doing so. But given Ed's input and Hortator next morning remorse and acknowledgement, I am going to ban him for a year instead. HOWEVER, if other mods desire a longer ban, that year could yet change to a PERMANENT ban. Hortator, you DO need some counseling, etc. And I hope this unfortunate episode can be learned from - that it will change you. It's frightening that you could write such words - even copied and sent while drunk. But you can be forgiven and should seek it. But if things in your mind and heart don't change - things that would cause you to have such an outburst - well, they'll likely get worse. Deal with them NOW!

[Philip]

Just to add to the above:

Intense political disagreements are currently tearing this country apart. My suggestion is, with certain people whose views or comments you absolutely know will irk you to the point of jumping over appropriate boundaries, one needs to not engage them. Show them grace and kindness instead - no, that's not easy. But constantly negative interactions often devolve into matters of pride and ego-fed uproars, with often destructive results. There are not a few people who have been called out for this kind of stuff around here and are gone.

(ESPECIALLY for Christians on this forum - speaking of the above - I have a SERIOUS caution): There are always going to be people on this forum and elsewhere who A) are not a Christian and B) who may well have political or spiritual views that you find very upsetting or that make you very angry. With such people, now, the devil would love to suck you into his scheme of turning your own heart against such people - to the point that you begin to see them as a personal enemy worthy of hostility and verbal (or worse) constant attack. Or you may begin to see them as enemies of God. And when you allow this to happen in your heart concerning another human being - the devil wins and his strategy advances.

But what does God say to do with those you consider or perceive to be your enemy? To LOVE and PRAY for them, right? And what does Ephesians 6 say? "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood..." Many who disagree with you now will later become Christians - so, let's not be the type of Christian whose response is the opposite of love - and which causes unbelievers to run in the opposite direction of Christ. Look at the Apostle Paul - who was orchestrating the systematic roundup and removal of Christians from their homes, having them beaten - even killed. But did GOD despise Paul, or did He not want Paul to change his heart and mind toward Himself? If one wants to spread the love of Christ to those who are in desperate need of it - then you best guard your heart and mind to whenever unbelievers hold views and say things you greatly disagree with or despise!

Romans 5:8: "... but God shows his love for us in that while WE were still sinners, Christ died for us."

[Storyteller]

Ed....
You have shown the measure of yourself and I have the greatest respect for you. Initially I thought "posting a PM?? They're private!!!!"
Then I read it and the responses.

Horator... you can get through this.
You made a mistake, you [love] up. We all do. You owned up to it, said sorry.
What matters is what you do now.

Mods...
I wanna help.
Can you pass on my email to Horator?

[RickD]

Storyteller wrote:
Mods...
I wanna help.
Can you pass on my email to Horator?

No need to pass it to him. Anyone can email you by clicking on your name. There’s an option to “send an email to Storyteller” under your screenname.

[Storyteller]

Can he do it if he's banned?

[RickD]

Can he do it if he's banned?

Good point. No he can’t if he’s banned.

But as of now, he’s not banned.