Lost my faith

[Storyteller]

Been a while... have been reading recent posts but not really felt able to contribute.
I've lost my faith....

I am becoming, no I am, a witch. Yes, I did type that...

I moved up to Scotland a couple of years ago. Had the privilege of standing on a sacred stone, in the wind, skyclad.... I felt free, finally. Reborn. In touch with nature, the universe... God?

Religion causes too much pain. Priests that are pardoned for sodomy?
Repression. Guilt. Sin... wheres the love?
Compassion? Truth?

I have always felt, if the Christian God exists, then he will (and this is backed by scripture) know my intent. My intent is good, I think.

My relationship with the divine is personal, genuine and loving. My relationship with religion, less so.

Are we not told to question everything?
To seek truth?
Well, I am.
And I'm really questioning the existence of a Christian God.

[Philip]

Annette, I’m so glad you posted! G&S is a bit different than when you were last here. I suppose I’m one of the few still here who knows many details about your history. You’ve experienced unbearable emotional trauma – especially through your parents – that has deeply wounded you beyond comprehension. The very people who should have loved you the most, instead, provided deep heartache, pain, and hurt. I think you know I’ve always tried to encourage you in your faith in Christ. And what I have seen is you looking for true love in all the wrong places, or in the arms of those who deny Christ and His teachings – which will only bring you confusion, heartache and bondage. But you were created to powerfully need what only Jesus can fill in your life! So, I see your post as more a cry for help, of trying to convince yourself of things you already know aren’t true or likely sense are only counterfeit routes to true “peace.”

I do agree 100% that RELIGION causes great pain – because religion is merely people trying to find spiritual peace through pointless ritual and constant, never-sufficient, personal effort. Of favor with God through DOING STUFF to please Him. But none of that will ever work. Religion has ZERO to do with God – whom already loves you unconditionally and always has! Priests “pardoned for sodomy,” etc. - these are people playing the devastatingly destructive games of religion – they have absolutely nothing to do with God’s sensibilities or His church – they are EVIL!

And while you might try hard to convince yourself that the God of Christianity is merely one created by the imaginations of men, I think, deep down, you know differently. But you seem at a crossroads that you likely know doesn’t mean liberation – but only leads to more confusion, desperation and fear! Last I knew, you were all over the map with what you believed. And you were embracing the activities and beliefs of others that were drawing you away from the teachings of Christ – the very reason why God repeatedly warned Israel (in the Old Testament) and Jesus’ Apostles in the New Testament, to avoid teachers of false beliefs, doctrines and assertions that conflict with those found in Scripture.

Note the outtakes from 2 Timothy 4: “3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” Jesus said of false teachers of false doctrines: “Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

Lastly, I want you to view and listen very carefully to what this woman has to say about her experiences and pathways taken that eerily parallel the one you describe yourself on – please watch and consider it ALL! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNILs_DFeDk

Yes, you should question EVERYTHING - including the things you've apparently bought into the last several years. But if you are a child of Christ, He will NEVER let go of you!

Praying for you, Annette!

Philip

[Nessa]

I think you have to start by being honest with yourself and if you want the truth. I mean really want it.

If trying to make the truth fit how you feel, then you may never find it. And if you don't believe the Bible is the word of God (that clearly is opposed to witchcraft) then you will be making up your own 'truth' as you go along because the only point of reference you have is yourself.

[Storyteller]

@Philip... I watched the video, to the end.
*DMT is a naturally occuring substance in the body. We get a massive hit of it when we are born and when we die.
*The use of certain hallucinogenic mushrooms are being used in scientific research to treat various different conditions.

If you're interested in expanding your knowledge regarding Christs connections with magic mushrooms check out John Allegros book written after decades of studying and translating text from the Dead Sea scrolls.


As a "witch" I strive to live in harmony with the planet, with best intent in everything I do.


I have found more symbolism, correspondences and truth in "witchcraft" than in Christianity.


I know you both mean well, and have the best intent, but I cannot, and will not, be part of a 1600 odd year old semitic death cult who appropriate and corrupt pagan symbolism, sites and rituals as part of their coercive control.


We, my primary partner and I, and our lovers are met with daily abuse and ridicule from our good sectarian driven, Christian community because we dress differently, use natural remedies, aromatherapy and we like gazing at the universe realising there are many Pantheons depending on social conditioning and inherited biases and hatred. Or as my partners mum and nan used to say to him, on the way to church, whilst being judgemental about others clothing and hair length, "I blame the parents" followed by "never judge a book by its cover" when the scruffy little urchin reads a bible passage beautifully.



My "witchcraft" is a positive thing. Working with nature, respecting the planet. Being self sufficent, off grid, eco friendly. Basic.
I have a connection with the natural rhythm of the planet, feel more alive and connected with the divine than I ever have.

Witchcraft is as misunderstood as religion is.
I wish you all well. Blessed be.

[Nessa]

I am unsure what your primary intention was for coming back and posting.

You have clearly made up your mind regardless of what any one else has to say. Perhaps deep down you are seeking validation or for some even to agree with you.

And wishing us all well (and perhaps now leaving again) seems to show that whatever you wanted you didn't get. Unless it was really just to check in and say hi, I am now a witch etc.

You want to live the life that feels good to you and that makes most sense to you. But that does not equate truth. Most people living in truth actually struggle with it as imperfect human beings.

[Nessa]

[Philip]

Nessa: Most people living in truth actually struggle with it as imperfect human beings.

YES - a powerful truth about truth!

[Storyteller]

I am unsure what your primary intention was for coming back and posting.
To catch up with people.
You have clearly made up your mind regardless of what any one else has to say. Perhaps deep down you are seeking validation or for some even to agree with you.
regardless of what anyone else says? No.
And wishing us all well (and perhaps now leaving again) seems to show that whatever you wanted you didn't get. Unless it was really just to check in and say hi, I am now a witch etc.
"unless it really was" seriously?? Passive aggressive much?
You want to live the life that feels good to you and that makes most sense to you. actually, no, you're wrongBut that does not equate truthI know. Most people living in truth actually struggle with it as imperfect human beings.you have no idea of my struggles with truth

[Storyteller]

So my truth is wrong. Happy?

What if yours is wrong?????
What if?

Nessa.... I'm proud to be a witch.
I've achieved more good, for others and myself, in the last two years by embracing myself than the rest of my life.
Being a witch isn't "boil and bubble, toil and trouble" it's being mindful of everything I do. Intent comes back thricefold. I'm mindful of that.

There has been incredible healing in my life. I'm sober, studying to become a therapist, I've learnt to love and be loved. I've rebuilt my relationships with my family, my daughter, my ex. I've started to heal, really heal from decades of abuse.

God, and only God, knows my heart.
My intent.
My faith.
I only need to answer to Him.

[Philip]

Annette, your attacks upon the Christian faith using your experiences with various non-Christians’ bad behaviors - well, you should know better – that there is an immense gulf between people merely CALLING themselves Christians (or even, unfortunately, some authentic Christians) and Christians actually following the teachings of Scripture and Christ. ALL Christians are commanded to love others – ALL others – as themselves. You’ll never find people authentically following the teachings of Christ to be abusive or hateful. Are they perfect? Of course not, because we are still fallen human beings.

Don’t believe everything you hear out of willful ignorance! Your referencing John Allegros’ paganism and symbolism is just a rehashing of ancient stuff with a sophisticated-sounding, supposedly scholarly spin. But the vast majority of serious modern scholars of the ancient world and history acknowledge Jesus was a historic person – with even ancient secular sources having recorded his existence! Even Wikipedia, not exactly a Christian source of information, states, in the first paragraph (under the topic: The Historicity of Jesus): “Virtually all scholars of antiquity accept that Jesus was a historical figure, although interpretations of a number of the events mentioned in the gospels (most notably his miracles and resurrection) vary and are a subject of debate.” Second paragraph, under Christ Myth Theory: “Virtually all biblical scholars and classical historians see the theories of his non-existence as effectively refuted, and in modern scholarship, the Christ myth theory is a fringe theory and finds virtually no support from scholars.”

Here’s a response from an academic reviewer, in New Yorker Magazine, who noted, in 1971, about Allegro’s Book, “The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross”:

To the Editors:

I would like to correct some false impressions New York Review readers might have received from W.H.C. Frend's too generous review of John M. Allegro's The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross [NYR, December 17]. Dr. Allegro, who is a Qumran (Dead Sea scrolls) specialist and not a Sumerologist, has seen fit to construct his theories upon a foundation of garbled, misinterpreted, or even nonexistent Sumerian words. While I am intrigued to see this obscure and difficult language, with which I do daily battle in the course of my researches, associated with items as exciting and modish as phallic worship and psilocybin, to say that Allegro should have known better would be an understatement.

With regard to the specific Sumerian words mentioned in Dr. Frend's review, it should suffice to say that "malck" does not mean "great," nor does "rig" mean "shepherd," and it is therefore inconceivable that they have anything to do with Latin "magnus" and "rex." Similarly, "gu-tal-en-dun" means neither "ball and socket" nor "penis and vulva." Finally, Dr. Frend's conclusion that "Sumerian and Semitic started as different languages" goes without saying.

Not only is Sumerian totally different in structure from all Semitic languages, but it never has been successfully related to any known language, ancient or modern. Numerous authors, mainly nonspecialists, have attempted in the last hundred years to see in this earliest written language many things that are not there. To these authors, and to Dr. Allegro, one might quote the words of a Babylonian scholar of 3,700 years ago, who, knowing well the difficulties of Sumerian studies, chided a less erudite colleague: "Since you are a scribe who doesn't know Sumerian, how can you carry on this discussion?"

J.S. Cooper
Department of Near Eastern Studies
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

So, Annette, what was the scholarly aftermath of John Allegro’s "Sacred Mushroom" book? He was never taken seriously as a scholar again and was asked to resign his academic position! Again, from Wikipedia: “Allegro's theory of a shamanistic cult as the origin of Christianity was criticized sharply by Welsh historian Philip Jenkins who wrote that Allegro was an eccentric scholar who relied on texts that did not exist in quite the form he was citing them. Jenkins called the Sacred Mushroom and the Cross "possibly the single most ludicrous book on Jesus scholarship by a qualified academic.” Based on the reactions to the book, Allegro's publisher later apologized for issuing the book and Allegro was forced to resign his academic post.

Annette, whatever you are into, don’t let it justify your belief in the WIDELY discredited claims of Allegro – as research academics unanimously discredited his claims as being rooted in fantasy – and as with most who try to re-invent or dismiss Jesus, they either build a false, non-historical or non-Biblical Christ, OR they merely assert He never existed. But this will never stop those determined to believe in such lies – especially those so very desperate to find love and companionship, no matter within whatever inclusive contexts or practices. Things aren’t true just because you believe or feel them – or merely want to. The faith of Christians is historic and scientifically supported – and much, MUCH more. You're rehashing issues I struggled with many decades ago - in which I asked many hard questions and also researched and studied for many years.

Annette, ask tough questions – don’t gloss over things. Don’t buy into half-baked assertions! And there are people here who care about you. I’m prayerful that some of the recent things I’ve shown you will make you reconsider. Jesus has never moved – YOU have! Never forget that!

Philip

[frets]

Annette,

I think you need to reconsider your critique of religion. The flaw, as I see it, is in identifying man as representative of a perfect God. Because some representing a religion have done some horrible things, then you are equating that with God. All of mankind has fallen short of the glory of God. Look to God for what He represents, not the fallible man. It is horrible what has been done, but it is mankind, not God that has done this. And you can be sure that God is highly displeased with this behavior. Consider, also, that Jesus' most harsh criticism went to the religious people of the day, because they had lost the meaning of the faith; they were profaning it and were hypocrites in their actions and judgements of others. It is the teachings of Christ that you should be considering when you judge Christianity. Consider the time Christ was here and that He spent much of His service to women, who were considered less than men at the time, with sinners and publicans, with the poor; those considered downtrodden in that day. There is the truth, compassion, and love you asked about.

I know it is presumptuous of me, but I have a feeling that your "friends" have cultivated this view of Christianity that you have brought to this discussion. I apologize, since I am sure that sounds harsher than I want it to sound.

You have found love in nature; then you are looking to the creation and not the Creator. But I do commend the progress you have achieved. I hope you will not give up on God. There is much to see, even just on this site, that points to His existence, His love, and His desire for you.

[Philip]

Welcome to the forum, Frets!

[Stu]

So my truth is wrong. Happy?

What if yours is wrong?????
What if?

Nessa.... I'm proud to be a witch.
I've achieved more good, for others and myself, in the last two years by embracing myself than the rest of my life.
Being a witch isn't "boil and bubble, toil and trouble" it's being mindful of everything I do. Intent comes back thricefold. I'm mindful of that.

There has been incredible healing in my life. I'm sober, studying to become a therapist, I've learnt to love and be loved. I've rebuilt my relationships with my family, my daughter, my ex. I've started to heal, really heal from decades of abuse.

God, and only God, knows my heart.
My intent.
My faith.
I only need to answer to Him.

Let me a bit more blunt. A time is coming soon where you will have to choose between Jesus and Satan/the world/witchcraft, and the choice will be obvious.

We are heading into dark times and my guess is if you know anything about the Bible, you will recognise the times from the words in the pages of the Bible.The Bible is quite clear, Jesus is the only way.

It seems you are blaming the pain in your life on God, when in fact it is MANKIND that has done that to you.

[Philip]

There are times when a person becomes so very desperate for love and acceptance that they will accept whatever counterfeit version of it that is offered to them. But all they will have done is make their lives evermore scary, confusing and fragmented. The love of God and Christ is the only thing any of us can ever be truly certain of, but we'll never find it in any of the dark corners people tend to seek out, as they'll only lead to further and deeper despair. COUNTERFEIT love always wants more and more from you, as your own love will never be enough to satisfy those and who offer it.