sexual desire

[SUGAAAAA]

I know God created man to be "Fruitful" creatures... yet alot of acts of sex and lust are tied with sin and satan. but if the fall of man never occured, it seems man wouldnt have much sexual desire (at least, not nearly as much as men today).


So is Satan or God behind our sexual desire?

[puritan lad]

Sugaaa

Keep in mind that Satan does not have the power to create, only to pervert. God created sex, and it was very good. It has Satan who perverted sex to make it sinful. God created drugs, and the have a good purpose. It is Satan who twisted drugs for evil.

There is nothing wrong with sexual desires. In fact, they are necessary. However, God has His commandments regarding the proper use of sex, and keeping them will bring much pleasure and blessing. On the flip side, while sexual immorality may bring "passing pleasures of sin" (Hebrews 11:25), in the end it will bring judgment (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

[SUGAAAAA]

ok...

but now, what i dont understand is, if the fall all of man never happened, and man still had sexual desire for their wife, how can man not have desires for other woman as well?

[Wall-dog]

Perhaps another question could be "As the institution of marriage has changed, how has the concept of sex changed?" Once upon a time if you wanted a woman all you had to do was marry her. If you later wanted another woman you could marry her as well. Men could have as many wives as they could afford to support and could have sex with all of them. Also, marriage occurred at roughly the same time as puberty, so there wasn't much need to do without.

Beyond that, what is the biblical ethos regarding unmarried sex? Samson had sex with Delilah (sp?) who was a prostitute but the Bible doesn't say there was anything wrong with that (on Samson's end that is). Based strictly on Deutronomy, one could say that as long as it is consensual and the woman isn't married, there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, wasn't it Judistic custom for a man to get a woman pregnant before he married her? Since a man could have multiple wives, wouldn't it then have made sense for a man to sleep around, giving himself as much chance as possible at getting suitable spouses?

I'm not asking that to be silly and I'm not advocating promiscuity. I am curious though what the real basis of biblical sexual ethos comes from. I mean, some go so far as to say that a husband and wife should only use the missionary position. That sounds a bit silly IMHO.

[puritan lad]

Hebrews 13:4
"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

[Wall-dog]

Puritan Lad,

That's pretty clear Thank you!

[madscientist]

Hebrews 13:4
"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

Yes exactly... but 1 think i just done tundersatnd. If you are to marry a person then it is that you like her/him and s/he likes you. So is this lust? BTW what exactly is lust??
Anyway, is having a girlkfriend/boyfriend wronmg? Then marriage would never happen! 1 think to realize is that almost all peolple - except for those oin middle ages when they saw their spouse for first time and marry woithut knowing each other - it is different today., people start to have relationships with each other etc. So is it sinful or not? If marriage is to be honoured then there must, MUST BE some liking before. and kissing etc goes before marriage. Is kissing b4 marriage wrong? How many of you got married without ever kissing or gettingf pleasure from ypur spouse to marry in the future?? I dot think many.
So my point was that if marriuage is to be honored and there are some things before marriage, actually out of it are they wrong? If yes then how can marriage be honoured?
Thx for answering if any1 could help...!

[Canuckster1127]

Hebrews 13:4
"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

Yes exactly... but 1 think i just done tundersatnd. If you are to marry a person then it is that you like her/him and s/he likes you. So is this lust? BTW what exactly is lust??
Anyway, is having a girlkfriend/boyfriend wronmg? Then marriage would never happen! 1 think to realize is that almost all peolple - except for those oin middle ages when they saw their spouse for first time and marry woithut knowing each other - it is different today., people start to have relationships with each other etc. So is it sinful or not? If marriage is to be honoured then there must, MUST BE some liking before. and kissing etc goes before marriage. Is kissing b4 marriage wrong? How many of you got married without ever kissing or gettingf pleasure from ypur spouse to marry in the future?? I dot think many.
So my point was that if marriuage is to be honored and there are some things before marriage, actually out of it are they wrong? If yes then how can marriage be honoured?
Thx for answering if any1 could help...!

Sexual attraction is God's idea and creation.

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a person outside of marriage or before marriage.

What is wrong is when you act upon that attraction or if you internalize it and use it to feed a thought life that idolizes the sexual act or feeds the flesh. That is what the scripture is talking about when it addresses the sin of lust.

As PL said and quoted, sex within Marriage is fine. It is a gift. It should be enjoyed.

As for you specific questions, I'm not going to be able to give you a list of what is right, what is wrong and how far can you go. I think there are some obvious limits. Sex before marriage is fornication. Sex outside marriage is adultary. They both are clearly condemned as outright sin.

The standard I've established for myself, and I'll be honest and say that these are areas that I've wrestled with, is that anything that makes another person an object of my actions or imaginations for my own gratification that violates my commitment to my wife or that reduces the humanity of another person (including my wife), is lust and for me, it is sin and to be avoided.

What does that mean practically?

Is it wrong for me to see an attractive woman jogging and react to her beauty? No. When it becomes wrong for me is when I take the second look or stare and begin to imagine what sex would be like with her without even knowing her or having any context of relationship with her.

So the standard I seek to hold is way before I approach that "line" of outright sin. It is battling lust where sin is conceived, in the heart and in the mind.

It is a progressive battle. It is tied in with the whole concept and experience of sanctification. There are similar battles that can take place with things that God has created for good that can be abused and misused, like food, alcohol, drugs, etc.

For some men (and some women but not to the same degree on average) sex and lust are incredibly difficult battles to fight. Unfortunately, many in the Church choose not to admit to their own struggles and not to teach and encourage growth in this area in classes and from the pulpit.

If it is a strong issue for anyone reading this I recommend reading the book "Everyman's Battle" from NewLife Ministries. I also can recommend support groups that operate on scriptural priniciples if this is an issue in your life.

Private message me if you like and we can talk about this or anything else that is struggle for you. Christians battle with these issues just like everyone else. We need to be honest about it and use the resources available to experience victory. It can be done.

[madscientist]

Sexual attraction is God's idea and creation.

Yes... but for example if somone gets attratcd to someone, could it be said it it that person's "fault" or that it is his own choice? Or for excample when someone likes someone and he/she wants to go out with him/her people sometimes make a big deal out of it. But is it their choice they like each other? Its their choice to go out etc but is it their choice whether they like someone or not? ANother intersseng question i think...

As PL said and quoted, sex within Marriage is fine. It is a gift. It should be enjoyed.

Yes but not only with the purpose of creating new life? If they want no kid then thwey shud have no sex. But does "sex" mean sex or other kind of similar stuff too? Eg kissing etc? Coz sex only for purpse to have children, that's what bibble says.

[Canuckster1127]

Sexual attraction is God's idea and creation.

Yes... but for example if somone gets attratcd to someone, could it be said it it that person's "fault" or that it is his own choice? Or for excample when someone likes someone and he/she wants to go out with him/her people sometimes make a big deal out of it. But is it their choice they like each other? Its their choice to go out etc but is it their choice whether they like someone or not? ANother intersseng question i think...

As PL said and quoted, sex within Marriage is fine. It is a gift. It should be enjoyed.

Yes but not only with the purpose of creating new life? If they want no kid then thwey shud have no sex. But does "sex" mean sex or other kind of similar stuff too? Eg kissing etc? Coz sex only for purpse to have children, that's what bibble says.

I think you're trying to make things too complicated.

Attraction doesn't equate to acting on that attraction. It's part of the dating ritual as we practise it in the west.

You'll have to show me where the bible says sex within marriage is only for procreation. I don't accept that. Sex is also for pleasure and for enjoyment between a man and a woman in a committed married relationship.

Try reading the Song of Solomon and get back to me.