Taste of the ole Irish

[Gman]

Here is a good one I recently got from my Dad.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.

Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be

so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with

a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you

people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are

also obliged to notify the next of kin."


G -

[FFC]

Here is a good one I recently got from my Dad.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.

Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be

so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with

a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you

people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are

also obliged to notify the next of kin."


G -

Very funny! I work with an Irish guy and he will love this one.

He told me one about an Irish guy who went to the doctor complaining of severe headaches. The doctor said he could fix it by removing a third of his brain. A couple of weeks later the guy came back still complaining of the headaches and the doctor looked at the x-rays and said that he saw the problem, he removed the wrong part of the brain the last time, so he scheduled another surgury to remove another third of the guys brain. A couple of days later the doctor went to the hospital to find that the guy checked himself out. so the doctor called the guys house. The guys wife told the doctor that her husband moved back to Ireland. The doctor was flabbergasted. He told the wife that there was no way that her husband should have been up and around, let alone making a long distance trip to Ireland! He only had a third of his brain in his head! The wife laughed and said " no need to worry, he's doing fine, he just got a job as a professor at the University of Dublin.