Possible Apocryphal Addition to Genesis 5th and 6th day ....

Canuckster1127 · Post by **Canuckster1127** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:37 am

On the fifth day God created the beasts of the earth. First He created the dog and he told the dog, “You will do nothing but act as a guard and will sit on the porch and bark at people”. “For this I will give you twenty years.”

The dog said, “How about I frolic and play and sniff other dog's behinds and sleep whenever I want to and I'll give you back ten of those years?”

God granted the dog's wish.

Then He created the monkey and he told the monkey, "You will be an entertainer and will do nothing but act silly and do tricks to entertain people.” “For this I will give you thirty years.”

The monkey said, “How about I ignore people and hang around in trees having a good time and I'll give you back ten years like the dog did?”

God granted the monkey's wish.

The He created the cow and he told the cow, “You will be a beast of burden and will toil mightily.” “For this I will give you sixty years.”

The cow said, “How about I stand around in green pastures and eat until I get very fat and I'll give you back forty years?”

God granted the cow's wish.

Tired of all these negotiations God created the other beasts and gave them no choice but after a good nights rest, when God created man on the sixth day He told man, “You will enjoy yourself and have a good time and for this I will give you twenty years.”

Man said, “That's not enough years.” “Why don't you give me the ten years that the dog gave back, the ten years that the monkey gave back and the forty years that the cow gave back?”

God granted man's wish and that explains why we enjoy ourselves for the first twenty years, toil for the next forty years, act silly and do tricks for our grandchildren for the next ten years and sit on the porch and bark at people for the last ten years.

FFC · Post by **FFC** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:53 am

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:59 pm

Very funny, but also very male.
I am too much of a lady to do anything like that - except for the toil part.
And nobody mention cows and myself in the one breath, or else!

Turgonian · Post by **Turgonian** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:15 am

Judah, it was man's wish.

I enjoyed the story too.

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 2:19 pm

Turgonian wrote:Judah, it was man's wish.

I enjoyed the story too.

Turgy, I do believe you are right.
Under the circumstances, you simply have to be!

I was reading man as mankind, as is often the way in stories of creation.

Canuckster1127 · Post by **Canuckster1127** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 3:19 pm

Do you want me to see if I can find the joke in the ORIGINAL HEBREW to verify the nuance in meaning?

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 3:22 pm

Canuckster1127 wrote:Do you want me to see if I can find the joke in the ORIGINAL HEBREW to verify the nuance in meaning?

Oh yes please!

However, I believe that this conversation between man and God must have happened in the process of creation prior to Adam getting lonely and wanting a companion who turned out to be Eve.

FFC · Post by **FFC** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 6:03 pm

Judah wrote:
Canuckster1127 wrote:Do you want me to see if I can find the joke in the ORIGINAL HEBREW to verify the nuance in meaning?
Oh yes please!

However, I believe that this conversation between man and God must have happened in the process of creation prior to Adam getting lonely and wanting a companion who turned out to be Eve.

...and then the trouble began...oh wait, did I say that out loud?.

Just kidding, Judah.

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:56 am

You're a cheeky one, FFC.

Turgonian · Post by **Turgonian** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 5:13 am

You mean he has the habit of turning the other cheek?

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:34 pm

Turgonian wrote:You mean he has the habit of turning the other cheek?

If so, perhaps not the same cheek you mean, Turgy.

FFC · Post by **FFC** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 6:00 pm

Judah wrote:
Turgonian wrote:You mean he has the habit of turning the other cheek?
If so, perhaps not the same cheek you mean, Turgy.

Judah, I think Turgy is a bit of a cheeky monkey as well.

Judah · Post by **Judah** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 7:45 pm

FFC wrote:
Judah wrote:
Turgonian wrote:You mean he has the habit of turning the other cheek?
If so, perhaps not the same cheek you mean, Turgy.
Judah, I think Turgy is a bit of a cheeky monkey as well.

Oh, of that I have no doubt!

And of course, your addition of the words "as well" must surely be an agreement that the description fits yourself.
Methinks I'll have to watch you both.

Turgonian · Post by **Turgonian** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:32 am

More of an undead monkey.

(I watched Dead Man's Chest last Friday.

)

FFC · Post by **FFC** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:41 am

Turgonian wrote:More of an undead monkey.

(I watched Dead Man's Chest last Friday. )

I'm looking forward to seeing that. For research purposes only of course.