Thanks for saying that, Byblos.Byblos wrote:Is it cruel or heartless to pray for his suffering to end, whatever that entails? I remember watching my father agonize more than any human should bear, before he succumbed to lung cancer at 53 (I was 16 at the time). I also remember wishing, hoping, praying he'd die already and how confused I was for even suggesting such a thing to God.
Me too. I sat at my Dad's bedside after he had suffered a catastrophic CVA and while not a Christian at a time, I begged God to finish what had been done to him - the devastation was so terrible. And again 2 years later, because he had to live for those two years with that devastation, as he succumbed to an aggressive and debilitating cancer. It is soul-wracking to watch someone you love so dearly have to suffer so much and there is nothing you can do to fix it for them. He was so dear to me, the best father ever, and it was just too much to bear.
Now I can see there was some sense in those two years before he died as I was able to give to him all the love he had given to me, doing for him whatever needed doing - including strenuous advocacy against hospital systems for better care and seeing worthwhile changes made. Others saw and asked me to advocate for their relatives too, and hospital staff called me from their homes with significant "inside" information to use, and yes, there was some good that came out of all the bad. I see that now, but I certainly couldn't see it then. There was a lot of real love that was shared, and that was certainly good.