What do i do?

[Enigma7457]

First of all, any who read this please read it in the manner in which it was written. I am not judging anybody and i am not claiming perfection myself. I am only a concerned friend...

I have a problem. Somebody please jump in any time to tell me this is not a problem and i will be ecstatic, because i do not want to deal with this problem. But, i see it as a problem and feel i need to.

A good friend of mine (the mother of my Godchild) is dating a buddhist named X. Nothing wrong with buddhists, but X is a jerk (in general). He is dragging her away from God, is a lousy stepdad (they've been together about a year or two or three, not sure), and is starting the whole controlling bit.

He is from Sri Lanka and his family is kind of...grrr...Not sure how to put it. Suffice to say they do not know about the child. ANYWAY, a Christian friend of mine says i need to tell her i will not talk to her anymore unless she breaks up with him (she has tried, unsuccessfully, thrice). I'm not so sure it will work (that and she is my wife's friend and my wife would never go for that).

Either way, X needs to either step it up (ie stop being a jerk), or she needs to leave him. She knows this but is afraid to be alone (the child's dad is a loser, big time). What do i do? Or am i wrong and should i just mind my own business (if i am wrong about it being a problem, i will be happy since i am a kind of 'mind my own business' type)

And please, some scripture as to why would be very, very nice.

[YLTYLT]

Is your friend a Christian?

If not, the first step would be to share or have someone else share the Gospel with her.

I know to some this might sound trite and too simple an answer. But there truely is power in the Gospel.

If she is a Christian, maybe get into a women's Bible study along with several other women a differing degrees of maturity in the walk with Christ.

If this man is as controlling as you are describing, she will need support from many people, both emotionally and logistically to help her pull away from him.

Another option may be also to share the Gospel with Him. Maybe he'll become less of a jerk. It has happened before.!!!!?....

The reason I say to share the Gospel first to them, is because if they are not saved they do not have the Holy Spirit in them to help them to make right choices.

So it depends on where she is spiritually that would determine what scriptures would best apply for her situation.

[FFC]

Pray for wisdom:

James 1:5
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Enigma, this is one of those hairy situations where you really have to tread lightly. This is almost impossible without some genuine wisdom. I don't believe giving your friend the silent treatment is the way to go...this may be good advice is she was being a distruption in the church and causing many of her brothers and sisters to stumble, but to do this on an individual bases would mean that you couldn't talk to anyone, right. Where would you draw the line?

My advice is this, love her like you have been doing and let her know that you care about what goes on in her life and will be there for her no matter what. God does this for us no matter what kind of idiotic decisions we make...why should we be any different.


1Cor 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind {and} is not jealous; love does not brag {and} is not arrogant,
1Cor 13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong {suffered,}

[Judah]

As a Godparent of the child, you will have surely made some promises regarding your involvement in the child's life. What exactly were those promises? On the basis of them (presumably the spiritual welfare of the child) do you see yourself having some authority to appeal to the mother on behalf of the child and your responsibility to him? Can a Buddhist raise a child as a Christian, especially a Buddhist who is "dragging her [the mother] away from God"? I am thinking that may be an approach worth considering.

Do not cut off communication. That is not a good idea. The mother will need her friends if she is heading into trouble - not have them abandon her. As this man is becoming increasingly controlling, it may be very hard for your friend to disengage from him. If she is to do this, she will most likely need support, not the silent treatment.

In the end, every adult has the responsibility for their own decisions and the right to make them if they are lawful ones. Tread carefully here. Most certainly pray for wisdom, and be open towards her as a friend, allowing her the opportunity to talk and share any anxieties or difficulties she may have, and encouraging her to do so.

Sometimes all we are able to do in the end, after sharing whatever realistic concerns one may have, is to pray and wait, being ready to help "pick up the pieces" if things don't work out, and know that we all have the right to make our own decisions, even ones that are not very good for us. More than anything, be available to her. She might well need a safe place in the days ahead.

[Enigma7457]

She is a christian. Doesn't always follow what she believes (do any of us?), but she is still one nonetheless.

I will try talking to him, maybe it will help.

Thanks for the advice. I'm glad everyone agrees we shouldn't cut her off. I was hoping that was direction we were going.