Family

[debby76]

I hope someone could give me some advice. What do you do when you are a Christian and you sister is an Agonistic and she is always attacking me. I am at my wits end, I need some advice.

Debby

[Canuckster1127]

I hope someone could give me some advice. What do you do when you are a Christian and you sister is an Agonistic and she is always attacking me. I am at my wits end, I need some advice.

Debby

At the risk of sounding trite, pray for her and work on showing her your love rather than arguing with her.

[zoegirl]

BEst advice I can think of is to strengthen your own relationship with Christ. Find a good supportive church/church group, a good set of devotional studies/books, and someone to whom you can walk with. Read good books like Mere Christianity (CS Lewis). Take care of your walk, grow with Him, and He will open your heart and eyes. Like Canuckster said, prayer and love does much to dissipate the aggression. It confounds those against your worldview

Remember that Satan delights in distracting you from your walk.

My oldest sibling is aggessive when it comes to Spiritual matters. I understand completely, because you know you want to change their mind and yet the family dynamics can make it very tough.

At some point it may be necessary to simply say respectfully "we must agree to disagree unless you can discuss this reasonably and rationally"

[Kurieuo]

I hope someone could give me some advice. What do you do when you are a Christian and you sister is an Agonistic and she is always attacking me. I am at my wits end, I need some advice.

Debby

Get a restraining order perhaps?

Seriously though... I take it you mean she keeps attacking your beliefs? If that is the case, then you need to have reasons for why you believe what you do, for your own sake and peace of mind perhaps more than hers. Apologetic sites such as the one these forums belong to can help to a large degree, and even participating in discussions with questions that concern you. I am sure there are many here who would be more than happy to help you develop defences against your sister's attacks if needed. Or maybe you just need to tell her to back off and that you are not interested in what she thinks since she obviously does not care to listen to what you think.

[debby76]

Thank you all for your advice. I guess all I can do at this point is pray for her daily. I do attend a awesome church in the Chicago area called Willow Creek, so I am always surounded by caring people, many of which have become good friends. My sister has always been someone in my life that always trys to get under my skin, but ever since I have become a Christian it has gotten worse. It just seems like it keeps geting worse, the other day she sent me a movie that she thought I would find interesting, then when I played the movie I was completely offended. It was basically a documentary saying that the bible was playgerized and Jesus never existed and He was myth. It bothered me that she thought that this was sometime acceptable to send to me. I don't know, I guess I'll just have to distance myself from her for the time being until I figure out how to handle her. Thanks again for the advice.

[Kurieuo]

Maybe you can return the favour by purchasing a copy of the "Jesus: Fact or Fiction" DVD (you can actually view parts of it at that link) and sending it to her? Interesting how she is "Agnostic" and yet takes such a strong stance against Christianity.

[zoegirl]

I agree with Kurieuo, the next time she tries to give you something or talk to you, have something on hand like Josh Mcdowell's "More than a Carpenter" or C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity", two great books that offer good starter material (which I would recommend that you read if you have not already). If she is "offended", then you have now laid the groundwork to show her that she needs to back off. After all, if she is not willing to listen to you and is offended by your attempts, then you are not obligated to suffer her attacks. "Gentle as a lamb, but sharp as a serpent"

I understand completely because my oldest brother, although raised in the same houosehold, has turned away from Christianity. We have maintained a careful but tense truce.

[Kurieuo]

Yeah, it is good backing yourself up with on-hand material. I have come to find though that once a non-Christian sees it is a "Christian" book or DVD, then it will often sit tucked away in a corner until they hand it back to you. With books in particular I find I am lucky if I can even get another Christian to read one, let alone a non-Christian. I have had more success with DVDs though which can just be easily watched. I would particularly recommend Unlocking the Mystery of Life which I found to be a very rational undertaking for design.

[zoegirl]

Yes, so true...

I guess I was betting on her refusing out of hand. If she is so opposed I doubt she will even take the books. But this then frees Debby76 up to refuse to listen and suffer her attacks. Once her sister has established that she is not open to discussion, this would allow Debby76 to stand her ground and insist she stop giving her material.

If she actually agrees to read them, well, I would not expect the book back for awhile (soo...buy two copies , one for you and one for her)

So much of this is so tenuous, given family dynamics. Scripture tells us to speak the truth in love and yet...and yet....

[debby76]

I actually own "Jesus Fact or Fiction". I am hesitant to give it to my sister because the last thing I said to her was to not speak to me until she agrees to go to family counsiling with my whole family. For some reason she is the only one in my immediate family that is holding out on getting professional help. There are other issues in my family besides me and my sister, but a lot of the issues stem from the instances that arise from her attacking me on my faith and her not respeting my others sister's Christian beliefs (especially reagarding my christian sister's children). So I am really going to do some deep praying on this, because it has now built a wall between my family, my mom, dad and agnostic sister on one side and me, my other sister and brother-in-law on the other. And I do know that in the bible it does say that families will be torn apart reagrding this, but I always hoped it would not happen to my family.

[Kurieuo]

I have had my share of family conflict myself so feel like I can understand. In fact, I severed my relationship with my mum because just too many boundaries have been crossed and I see her as psychologically being an unsafe person in my life. Which brings up another resource I think is good to read - Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. Knowing how to handle personal boundaries helps to identify safe and unsafe people, and keep the good in and bad out.

Anyway, I pray everything will work out for you.

[debby76]

Once again, thank you, I feel such comfort knowing that I am not alone in this issue. I will pray about this and take the appropriate steps to resolve this divide without denouncing my savior. Thank you all.

Debby