Lost and in need of help

[MikeB]

First of all pleas forgive my bad spelling and grammar!

I don't know what to do anymore I'm lost scared and unhappy. I seam the mess up everything in my life and the lives of ones close to. You see I'm a drug addict. I spend every dollar i get on drugs I'm about to get evicted from my apartment but yet I still go out and by drugs.

I have been to treatment 4 or 5 times and that's why I'm here I mean noting else is working.

I think I need to find God; I think I believe in God when I was a kid i was taught that God is real but now that I'm 38 years old I have doubt's some times and then other times I know he is. Some times I ask my self what if all thous books in the bible was just a bunch of crazy people? The way I understand it is that the Bible is a collection of books. We didn't find them all together we found each book in a different place or at least I think so. Any way I have tried to read it a few time but it just doesn't make since to me.


Another thing that makes me wounder if God is real or not is we keep finding new stuff in space. You know new solar systems and stuff like that. Well if we have a creator then why is all that other stuff there? And I find it hard to believe that all that could be created by one person.
(or what ever)

I know I'm just babbling but one other thing I find hard to handle. In the past I have asked a few people about God and the Bible and instead of just sting down with me and talking about it they always started preaching and wanting to pray with me. Now pleas don't get me wrong they meant well but I think when someone like me is asking something like that instead of the Bible waving and preaching and trying to get me to pray and stuff just site down and talk just a casual relaxed discussion. All that other stuff will come once I have a good understanding of what I'm doing and why.


So finally I'm asking everyone here can you pleas point me in the right direction on understanding the Bible and finding God?



Ps after reading this I see that I didn't put my thoughts together very well I apologize I was in a hurry for some reason I just felt that if I didn't get it posted right away that well i don't know. I just felt an urgency to get it posted.

[FFC]

Mike,
Nobody can force you to believe, and no amount of evidence will ever be enough if evidence is all that you require. In the end you will either have faith in God or you won't.

All I suggest to you is that you start carefully reading the gospel of John in the bible and honestly and sincerely plead with God to open your eyes. If your truly want to know the God of creation, and enter into a saving relationship with Him then you will certainly see the way before you even get 4 chaptors into the book.

God bless
FFC

[Kurieuo]

Mike,

If what you say is true, then I see you have already taken a first step towards God. Having studied philosophy, with a particular interested in philosophy of religion which explores the arguments for and against God's existence (and I would recommend even just this one subject to anyone, particularly at a Catholic institution who I see are quite good when it comes to philosophy and fair to all sides), it comes down to this:

Both sides appear to have equally knowledgeable and intelligent proponents who understand the many arguments for and against God, and yet both sides disagree. Such disagreement can only come down to one's own judgement on the arguments. If someone has not explored at all any such arguments for and against God, then I see that for the lay Christian there would be some distress regarding arguments made against God, while for the non-Christian there would be quite some surprise to the coherency and well-thought out arguments for God's existence. Yet, why is there still disagreement if both sides are equally intelligent and knowledgeable? I see it comes down to one's personal judgement, and such judgement is influenced by the whole of one's life experiences, relationships, and affective motivations.

Now given both sides are equal, that is, it is a flip of the coin who is right, then what makes sense for someone to believe on the practical level when it comes to living their life? To live life believing in God, or to live life without belief in God? I think it would be absurd for someone to choose the latter, as life then becomes extremely more dismal and unmeaningful. How much better then would it be to actually believe in God's existence, and believe all the injustices in this temporary world we live will be made right by God in the end?

Now Christianity does not simply leave it to the evidence. Yes, that is important, but it still leads us with a dead end of uncertainty. The Christian message is one of actually being able to enter in relationship with God, and come to an experiential or direct knowledge of Him. Jesus promised, "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." It is interesting that one has to first "ask" which seems to require belief first. Yet, even if you do not believe, and you really do ask, if God exists then He will hear you. Then if you pursue seeking Him out, which for me means exploring rational arguments for His existence and being open to a response, then you will end up coming to a new way of seeing things where you realise God does clearly exist. Then, it is a matter of knocking, and Jesus promises the door will be opened for us to come into direct experience with God.

So the decision is open to all as to whether or not they wish to know God. As I see, it is simply a matter of whether a person really cares to know God if He exists, and seek Him out. He leaves this decision up to us. He will not come to us without asking, but He certainly attempts to draw us to Him and provides a way for us to come to Him.

I pray you will come to find God on your journey which is yours alone.

[MikeB]

I want to thank both of you that has taken the time to respond to my post. Kurieuo I'm glade you brot up the subject of asking for God to help and or come in to my life. Now at first thought it sounds very simple if you ask God he will HMMMM well maybe I have missed something or maybe I don't understand exactly what is suposed to happen. Now I don't clasifi my self as a belever or none belever. I think i beleve but I really don't know. There have been times in the past when my drug adiction has gotin the best of me and a can remember a few of thous time crying to God to help me and to take over my life. I don't think anything ever happened. I mean I didn't here a voice or anything lol just joking but really nothing happened.

Jesus promised, "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Well I did that I didn't receive anything?


Anyway I will do a lot of reading and see what i can come up with.

I would like to share something with everyone that I find very interesting. Today while I was at the store a lady came up to me just out of the blue and started talking about God. The reason I find this so interesting is it is the very same day I made my first post here on this site asking about God. Really made me stop and think!

[zoegirl]

THis might seem like an oversimplification, but I would encourage you to find a church, a pastor, a Christian group, any or all...to help explain matters to you, to help pray with you, and to help you in your walk

I would echo FFC's comment on really immersing yourself in the Bible, and his suggesting of the book of John is right on the mark. The Bible is God's word and it is HIm revealing HImself to us. You will see Jesus and His love revealed when you read scripture.

There is a huge value in having people actually there in your life that can help keep you accountable and to help you grow. God's grace turns us around but we musn't ever dismiss the value of the fellow believers.

[Kurieuo]

I want to thank both of you that has taken the time to respond to my post. Kurieuo I'm glade you brot up the subject of asking for God to help and or come in to my life. Now at first thought it sounds very simple if you ask God he will HMMMM well maybe I have missed something or maybe I don't understand exactly what is suposed to happen. Now I don't clasifi my self as a belever or none belever. I think i beleve but I really don't know. There have been times in the past when my drug adiction has gotin the best of me and a can remember a few of thous time crying to God to help me and to take over my life. I don't think anything ever happened. I mean I didn't here a voice or anything lol just joking but really nothing happened.

Jesus promised, "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Well I did that I didn't receive anything?

It does sound very simple to ask for God to come into your life and reveal Himself to you. I have seen Christians also make out as though if anyone asks God to show Himself, God will reveal Himself at their whim. Now perhaps I am even misunderstanding what I read, which is a possibility, but I see that this passage also stresses the importance of seeking. So it ought not to be neglected that our request actually needs to be backed up not by a whim, but rather through persistence and earnestness in ones searching for an answer. What I say here is also supported by Christ's words elsewhere. For example, "All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him." So it is not based on our choice whether God is revealed to us, but Christ's. Yet, from Christ's promises elsewhere (like the ask and receive, seek and find passage) there is a way we can go about showing Christ we are serious in order to break down the barrier which keeps us from seeing and believing.

Now it could also be you are quite earnest in your pursuit. God could be attempting to reveal Himself to you, but whether it be guilt in your life, a feeling He would not want you, or something else, such I see might interfere with one's own ability to fully want to come to God. If life has been hard, there is a drug addiction and what-have-you, a feeling of despair and impossibility to change, then I see there could be an inadequacy creeping in which questions why God would even bother. And it is true we are all inadequate and fail to add up to God. I have my own issues and am still troubled often by them. The Gospel message is however that we can come into relationship with God, who we fail to add up to, through Christ who paid what we could not, to make us add up to what is required for God. There is someone on our side, who cloaks us if you will, takes us in whatever state we may be in, and presents us as gold. This is the good news Christianity brings to the table. Of course being able to believe is an obvious hurdle, but the time will just come, just like a light switch being turned on, where everything just becomes clear and to not believe seems impossible.

Finally, God will not take over your life. I too have prayed God to just control me, take over my body, and live my life for me during times I found hard. My experience is He will not do that. At least He never has for me. I see that He would prefer us to look to Him in such times, and come through the end without His possessing us, because that is where we become refined and can really shine. Hardship is a main way true character is defined, and it is through hardship that we are able to truly develop and hopefully find an inner strength within which keeps us going. This inner strength for all we know could be a connection with God who is actually helping us. At least I think so, but I guess we will only know in the end whether I am right.

I would like to share something with everyone that I find very interesting. Today while I was at the store a lady came up to me just out of the blue and started talking about God. The reason I find this so interesting is it is the very same day I made my first post here on this site asking about God. Really made me stop and think!

I think that is great. Now it could be coincidental, but the timing obviously had meaning to you. And it is in such subtle ways I see God works with us. So to me, it does sound like you are on the right path of seeking God out and Him becoming clear to you.

[psr6782]

Hey man,

I know where you're comming from being confused with all the "evidence" against a God, let alone the Christian God. For a good portion of a year I was wondering the same things you were. Then, I stumbled across this site somehow and the points that Rich Deem brings up are very intiguing. Other than the Bible, I would suggest some books on actually understanding the Bible and Christian teachings. The books I read that helped were; Dinner with a Perfect Stranger, 90 Minutes in Heaven, and Handbook of Christian Apologetics. Dinner was very good, very simple, and very short (about 100 pages), but I can't tell you just how much it made me think. 90 Minutes in Heaven was also good but is more a story of faith. Finally, Handbook of Christian Apologetics was written by a professor of religious philosophy so it's a little bit heavier, but it does a great job of answering a lot of common questions about Christianity.

The best advice is to read, read, read, even if not nesecarily the Bible right off the bat. I started out wondering how any logical person could believe in God, and now find myself wondering how any logical person can not believe in God.

Good luck my friend, and know that the Lord is always with you, even in the hardest of times.


Phill

[Kurieuo]

The best advice is to read, read, read, even if not nesecarily the Bible right off the bat. I started out wondering how any logical person could believe in God, and now find myself wondering how any logical person can not believe in God.

And I bet if happened like a light switch being turned on? And maybe even now those days you did believe in God seem greyed out and it feels like you had always believed? At least, this is what I have noticed with others. My wife in particular laughs in disbelief when I reiterate some of the questions or arguments against God she once said to me.

[FFC]

Hey mike,
I just wanted to share a quick personal tidbit. I believed in God and Jesus for many years. Ever since I was a kid, but I never really felt like I was saved until I surrendered my whole life to God and meant business with Him. Making Jesus Lord of my life, and not denying him anything.

I know that some of my dear brothers and sisters would say that is not necessary...and maybe they are right...but all I know is, like Kurieuo said, that is when I felt like a light went on. I felt like a line from one of Keith Green's songs..."like waking up from the longest dream".

[bizzt]

I know exactly what you mean about a Light going on. Like FFC it was the same for me believed for a long time but never put my faith in Christ but finally just like that a Light went on and everything seemed Clearer.

[FFC]

I know exactly what you mean about a Light going on. Like FFC it was the same for me believed for a long time but never put my faith in Christ but finally just like that a Light went on and everything seemed Clearer.

I guess that makes sense since Christ is the light of the world.

[bizzt]

Amen to that FFC...

[Jimmy]

You are carrying your cross. You have been favored by god. He sees your struggles and condems your actions, but not you - for he takes pity on you and asks that you confide in him, so that trough your own free will, there lies your salvation.