question

[jenna]

Hypothetical question. If a wife is truly trying to do what God says, and her husband believes differently than she does about certain things, if the husband wants her to do something she believes to be wrong, what would be the "appropriate" action for the wife? Would she not be in a "lose-lose" situation, since if she does not obey her husband in this matter, she would be disobeying God? But if she does what her husband says to do, she still is disobeying God, since she knows what her husband wants her to do is wrong? Help me out here.

[johnt]

If it's wrong then it's wrong and if you still do it it is you who will have to deal with the consequences. Class Pre-K Adam and Eve. Eve knew it was wrong to eat of the fruit and did so anyway and also convinced Adam to eat of it and you know the rest of the story. I always wondered if Adam refused to not eat the fruit because he knew it was wrong what would have happened then? Hmmmm! Just a Thought.

[FFC]

Jenna, being submissive to your husband doesn't mean that you leave your beliefs, especially things that you feel strongly about at the door. If you feel it is a sin, like Johnt said, then you have to take God's word over your husbands. The husband being head of the wife is more of an orginazational thing, then a pecking order. You have just as much say in your relationship as your husband does, and I'm told that many husbands find it wise to listen and consider what their wives have to say in spiritual matters. I know you said this is hypothetical, so please the yous and yours.

[Zebulon]

Jenna,

In my humble point of view, God gave us 2 ears and one mouth. As a joke for the sake of it, that means that one must 2 times carefully listen to what the other has to say and then speak.

For the non sake of it, the wife and her husband should sit down and talk about it until an acceptable solution for both comes up.

Just my 2 cents.

Victor

[FFC]

Jenna,

In my humble point of view, God gave us 2 ears and one mouth. As a joke for the sake of it, that means that one must 2 times carefully listen to what the other has to say and then speak.

For the non sake of it, the wife and her husband should sit down and talk about it until an acceptable solution for both comes up.

Just my 2 cents.

Victor

Sounds like good common sense advice to me.

[jenna]

Yes, it would be, if it worked. We have tried this, and it always lead to arguments, since it involves religious beliefs. One good reason never to discuss religion?

[BavarianWheels]

Yes, it would be, if it worked. We have tried this, and it always lead to arguments, since it involves religious beliefs. One good reason never to discuss religion?

2 Cor. 6:14...Although it could be hypothetical wife became a Christian from within the marriage already...if that is the case, that complicates things.

However, I would say that although the husband is traditionally seen as the head and the wife as 'subordinate' to the husband, Christ is the husband and the church is the wife. Christ would never ask the wife or cause the wife to do anything outside her freewill nor individually. So we should also liken our relationships. A loving husband would NEVER ask his wife to do anything she doesn't feel right in doing...Christian or not!
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[FFC]

Yes, it would be, if it worked. We have tried this, and it always lead to arguments, since it involves religious beliefs. One good reason never to discuss religion?

I thought you said it was hypothetical? Just kidding. Seriously, is he trying to inforce what he believes on you?

[jenna]

Basically when I try to point out why I believe what I do, he tells me I am being brainwashed into the way I am thinking. I know a few people here would agree but I just don't see it that way. Our differences are really making me question our marriage.

[johnt]

Do you mind if I ask in just a few sentences what his beliefs are and likewise yours?

[jenna]

No, I don't mind, but it will take more than a few sentences! My beliefs:Christmas is a pagan tradition that God hates, so is Easter, Halloween, New Year's, Valentine's, etc. I do not believe that the Holy Spirit is an actual "being",nor do I believe in the trinity. I do not believe in a hell where souls are eternally tormented. I believe that eating unclean foods is wrong. I believe that Saturday is the true Sabbath day, not Sunday. I believe that Jesus died on a Wednesday and rose again on a Saturday. I believe that faith and works go hand-in-hand for a person to be "saved". There are many other beliefs that I have that some would deem "heretical", but I am simply covering the more important ones right now. Any questions or thoughts on these?

[johnt]

Okay what about his beliefs are they pretty much the opposite?

[jenna]

Okay what about his beliefs are they pretty much the opposite?

Yes, his are pretty much the same as "normal" people's are. We agree on a few points, but not many.

[BavarianWheels]

No, I don't mind, but it will take more than a few sentences! My beliefs:Christmas is a pagan tradition that God hates, so is Easter, Halloween, New Year's, Valentine's, etc. I do not believe that the Holy Spirit is an actual "being",nor do I believe in the trinity. I do not believe in a hell where souls are eternally tormented. I believe that eating unclean foods is wrong. I believe that Saturday is the true Sabbath day, not Sunday. I believe that Jesus died on a Wednesday and rose again on a Saturday. I believe that faith and works go hand-in-hand for a person to be "saved". There are many other beliefs that I have that some would deem "heretical", but I am simply covering the more important ones right now. Any questions or thoughts on these?

Well...I'm not sure if you want to address ALL these issues with him as a few seem trivial within a marriage. Certainly they would be issues that can get heated, but only if you decide to debate them with him. It seems there can be a middle ground within a relationship just like friends of differing beliefs can remain friends if they just keep away from issues that separate them. Issues like the Sabbath is one exception that can get in the way...definitely. But as for Christmas...while I don't believe God hates "Christmas", it seems one can enjoy the season without actually celebrating it. Hell...trivial. Unclean foods...easily avoided. When Jesus died...not all that important to argue over inside a marriage.

Just my thoughts...of course I don't live your life and can't really relate to how these things all work to make your marriage difficult.
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[jenna]

No, not all these things are brought up. This was actually an answer to John, about my beliefs. O know what you are saying though, and it does help some.