I promised god I would keep my virginity until I was married and I did so well all these years. But recently I spent the weekend over my now ex boyfriends house and things went alittle too far, we didn't really have sex but he tried and succeeded half way. I didn't bleed or anything. I snapped back into reality and stopped immediately. I felt so hurt and wrong and ibegged god to forgive me. But the very next day I found myself on my knees in the shower crying asking god to please forgive me and I begged for my purity back so bad. I am ashamed and I have not told my parents at all and I don't plan to because they would be so hurt. I have vowed to never have sex until marriage again. I feel god stepped aside before and let the devil tempt me to see how much faith I had and I failed. I also feel god sent the holy spirit to make me feel convicted so I can stop the wrong I was doing and change. I still feel so depressed and unpure. Even though I still feel ima virgin because I didnt really have sex I still feel unpure because I have already been touched. Some one please help me; has god forgiven me? Can I be pure again? please give me some type of advice or help. i spoke to a friend of mine who is christian and she told me I need to bow down on my knees and accept jesus as my savior and mean it from the heart and I won't feel such a burden anymore. She also explained to me that the devil will constantly remind me of my sins even though god has forgiven me. He knows my weakness and will use it against me. It will constantly be a spiritual battle.
I had a situation much like yours and every so often I remember how close I came and I still mourn that I came that close. But that also helps us grow.