some groaners

[JCSx2]

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.



3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.



4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.



5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders.



6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.



7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.



8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.



9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.



10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.



12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'



14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.



15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'



16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'



17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.



19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.



21. A backward poet writes inverse.



22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.



23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.



24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

[cslewislover]

Thanks for those. 14 made me laugh, and I liked 8, 17, and 23 as well.

[Swamper]

I lost some IQ points on that one...

[Zebulon]

Very subtile...
My favorite ones :

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Thanks,

Victor

[Cactus]

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE THEM!

(but 1 or 2 are funny i admit)

[For_Narniaaa]

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I had to read that twice before I got it.