Love, does it exist anymore?

[Gabrielman]

I speak not of God's love, that has always existed to me, rather the love between a man and a woman. To me it seems that love has died in this sad world we live in. Maybe I am horribly wrong, or at least I hope I am, but it seems to me that all people care about any more is sex. Having sex with some one does not equal loving them, however people seems to think it does. A vast majority of the people I know brag about having sex with a girl they just met today! It makes me angry just thinking about it, especialy for someone in my situation. However I am straying from my point, or questoin... Anyway, does love exist anymore? I would like answers from all sides (Christian/Athiest/Other...) You get the picture. I would like some answers, and I want to be proven wrong. Please help.

"In the end we tend to think of how it began. I could never explain the picture it painted or how it made me feel. Now the celing is in motion, the light centered and overlooked. You wanna see me disapear? Well so do I, well so do I!"- Underoath: There could be nothing after this.

[Proinsias]

In a word 'yes'

Christian/Atheist/Other, there is love.

I've not met anyone bragging about sex and confusing it with love - do the people you know who brag about having sex equate it with love?

I suppose the question I want to ask is "do you need to love someone to have sex with them".

On the other hand great sex can have an influence on love, as great conversation and many other things can.

The other question would be: can love exist if people have lots of casual sex before finding the one they love, as opposed to going for lots of coffee's to find the one they love.

*non Christian response here as may be obvious*

[Gabrielman]

I wish I lived where you do. All I hear about is how everyone is haveing sex with so and so or whoever. This is where I have lived forever. Maybe I am just in the wrong place, maybe I should move. Then again think about all of the tv shows and movies that promote casual sex as a life style. Two and a half men is a perfect example. This is a sex upsessed culture and I do not feel that you need a lot of casual sex to have love, they seem to think differently. Now I do agree that great sex with a person you are married to is a good thing and can strengthen love as you said along with deep conversation, but I think I should revise what I said. It isn't just about sex, people (or at least all of the ones I know) tend to be very shallow, and I am not just talking about being attracted to some one because there is notihing wrong with that. There are other issues that seem to have killed love as well. Porn for instence. There is a book called porn generation that was written by a man after my own heart that disscusses this issue. Another problem I have seen is that people are more worried about what they can get out of a potential partner rather than what they can give, it seems to be all about the self. The scripture clearly stands against these things... then again you probably knew that already. Maybe it is just because where I live, like I said, but I feel that this generation is killing (or has already killed) love, and that is a problem for me. I hope you are right, I hope love is still alive and well. Please show me there is still love, because at this point I am not sure that I believe in it anymore. Thanks for your reply , and I hope to God Almighty that I am wrong.

[Gabrielman]

Hey I hope I am not offending any one. I am just in a state of concern for our world. From what I see it all seems to be crashing down moraly and it is frightining to me. I don't know if I believe in love anymore, maybe it is just the youth where I live that is acting this way. If you can show me an exaple of love in your life that may help me a little. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks and God bless you all!

[ageofknowledge]

Love has waxed cold in these end times. People still practice the emotional part of the word but not much else... except self-love, love of their own (even the most evil throughout history have usually loved their own), and in their own minds.

[Gabrielman]

Thanks. I unfortunatly agree with you on this... I only hope that there is some love left out there. Thanks and God bless!

[jlay]

What are you doing about it? Are you loving?

[zoegirl]

I speak not of God's love, that has always existed to me, rather the love between a man and a woman. To me it seems that love has died in this sad world we live in. Maybe I am horribly wrong, or at least I hope I am, but it seems to me that all people care about any more is sex. Having sex with some one does not equal loving them, however people seems to think it does. A vast majority of the people I know brag about having sex with a girl they just met today! It makes me angry just thinking about it, especialy for someone in my situation. However I am straying from my point, or questoin... Anyway, does love exist anymore? I would like answers from all sides (Christian/Athiest/Other...) You get the picture. I would like some answers, and I want to be proven wrong. Please help.

"In the end we tend to think of how it began. I could never explain the picture it painted or how it made me feel. Now the celing is in motion, the light centered and overlooked. You wanna see me disapear? Well so do I, well so do I!"- Underoath: There could be nothing after this.

Sure it exists today! It may be hard to find it but it certainly exists.

[Jac3510]

I can honestly say that I love my wife in the biblical sense of the word. Perfectly? Of course not, but I do love her. The problem, I believe, is that we have confused love with the emotion we call romance, or with the emotion we call empathy. They are not the same thing. Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, that is in the best interests of its object. Consider two verses:

For this is the way God loved the world: He gave His one and only Son . . . (John 3:16a)

My translation, but here, you see that what is in focus is not the depth of God's love for us, but the means by which God loved us. Love is an action. It is a thing you do. When we say to God that we love our neighbor, His question is not, "How much?" but "In what way?" James 2 speaks of this.

The other verse is Phil 2:3-4: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. "

This is the essence of love, to consider the other as more important than the self. But our society is steeped in selfishness. Self-esteem is all the rage. Self-worth and knowing who you really are . . . we tell people not to get married young because they need to "find themselves" first, which is a very destructive piece of advice. It ignores the fact that in marrage there should not be two "I" but rather one "us." I cannot be separated from my wife. There is no end of me and beginning of her. So the longer people wait to get married--the more they come to get set in "their own ways"--the more difficult it is to grow and become one with another. It's also destructive because in teaching people to "find themselves" we teach them to look at themselves when they should be looking always at others.

We aren't just talking about mere selflessness, which is nothing more than the denial of the self. That falls far short of love. We are talking about the actice service of others. So yes, love exists, but it only exists where people have learned to put others first. In our culture, that's very difficult to find.

[zoegirl]

[Gabrielman]

Thank you all for your imput. I rarely hear of anything that even resembles love, then again like I said earlier I may just live a bad place, but then again the media... well you get the picture there.

This is the essence of love, to consider the other as more important than the self. But our society is steeped in selfishness. Self-esteem is all the rage. Self-worth and knowing who you really are . . . we tell people not to get married young because they need to "find themselves" first, which is a very destructive piece of advice. It ignores the fact that in marrage there should not be two "I" but rather one "us." I cannot be separated from my wife. There is no end of me and beginning of her. So the longer people wait to get married--the more they come to get set in "their own ways"--the more difficult it is to grow and become one with another. It's also destructive because in teaching people to "find themselves" we teach them to look at themselves when they should be looking always at others.

The love you have with your wife is exactally what I view as love. If one of you is hurting then you are both in pain because she is part of who you are. I get your point about the sefishness of society and I agree that we should not be telling young people to not get married, wait what am I saying young people for... I am young! Oh well.... anyway thanks to you and zoegirl, did I get that right? You both gave me the best insight so far. I guess love is just hard to find in this anything goes culter, but your what you said about your wife and you gives me hope. I will try to see things in a different light, who knows maybe I will find love someday too. Thanks and God bless you all!
Oh and jlay I am loving in God's way, but not in a romantic way... kinda hard to do when you are single. I do my best to show God's love to all I encounter, granted I am not perfect so at times I mess it up, but the Holy Spirit always lets you know when you have done wrong.

[Gabrielman]

I would like to thank you all for your help. I am going through some... things right now and I had lost all hope. Please keep shareing with me your stories of love and advice. I feel I was wrong when I first posted this, I need to slow down and see things a little more clearly. You all have been a big help and I thank you. God bless! I should also point out that I will not be posting on this thread anymore. With the overwhelming response you have shown me that love does indeed exist. I have simply hit a spiritual wall and have begun to question some things in life... There is a lot I need to think about. I will be reading all new posts so please leave anything that is helpful. Thanks you all once again.

[Cross.eyed]

I have been married to my wife for more than 30 years and it is so that I love her more as time passes.
We share life's events, help each other, provide for, and laugh often.

Our secret? There is none, we put God first, and each other afterwards.

[megacab64]

Crosseyed....very....very cool.

God Bless you both.

[Cross.eyed]

Crosseyed....very....very cool.

God Bless you both.

Thank you, and welcome to the board.