Is it a sin to marry a minor?

[Gman]

17 is young, but I don't see this as a sin at all. Back in the old days, kids were getting married at 14 or 15. Everyone is so career orientated these days that getting married at a young age is considered a taboo. I beg to differ..

Maybe before puberty, but not after.

On another note, is you ever have kids at a younger age, technically they will live longer.

[ageofknowledge]

You'll think it's a sin if you end up in prison with a sex crime jacket following you around in there. When BIG Bubba pulls your card and sees what you're in for well

Don't blame me you've been warned.

[stealthpengu]

If it's legal in your state, there should be no problem. In Kentucky, I think you can get married at 16 or younger with parent's consent.... so it's not unprecedented. Honestly, I'm not even sure when the whole '18 and you're adult' thing became standardized in the USA

[Harry12345]

You'll think it's a sin if you end up in prison with a sex crime jacket following you around in there. When BIG Bubba pulls your card and sees what you're in for well

Don't blame me you've been warned.

[ageofknowledge]

I met some guy once who was in his mid forties that had a child bride. I don't know what age she was 16 or 17 but it appeared to be legal and when I asked my friends whose house they were over visiting about it, who were solid mature Christians, they said yes they actually were legally married. It was all legal. But it made my skin crawl to see them together to be honest. She was a child and he was forty five year old man. It was obvious he was raising her at the same time they were married.

[zoegirl]

WOuld I call it a sin? Now that would depend more on the situation, but no, not immediately but the ten years difference, especially when she was a minor, could lead to problems.

And even if history shows that brides were younger, they were younger because they often died younger. Often girls would be betrothed and married as young as13 or 14, but that certainly is no reason to use that as an example. They often had no choice in the matter.

A girl of 17, not having been to college or matured in her mind, compared to the man of 27, who has been able to go through those maturing years and established their identity, would seem to lead to a disparity in their life stages. And somehow it does seem a bit eerie that a mature 27 year old would prefer a 16 year old.

Ten years when the bride is 35 and the groom is 45 is very different than 17 and 27.

You met online?!?!? (Now that is one reason to guard the online activities of teenage girls!) And you think she waited for you? How long did she wait for you??!?! What in the world were you doing online that you were meeting teenage girls?

Did she even graduate form high school? Is she going to college? Will she be going to college? What makes her mature? Is she a Christian?

Why even ask if this has already been done? So explain more of your situation, please, because I am not prepared to immediately endorse it. Call me scrooge and a skeptic but I want to know more .

[Ryuzashi]

We met online on a Forum about 2 years ago, we started talking and she seemed very mature and smart, we had alot in common. To be quite honest she showed to be smarter than other girls i knew that where in their 20's, She was goin through alot in her life, her father being alcoholic and her mom ignoring her ( Ya all know how them girls end up ) , the average girl that goes through that stuff end up living with friends or the street and doing bad things cause their stressful lives. I wanted to help her and at the same time (call me a sick guy if you wish) but i really liked her. I always encouraged her to stay in school, to not do drugs like the rest of the guys around her area and to listen to her mom. We spoke online for about a year, she was suppose to finish her school and her TKD classes... But as i had predicted, her parents relationship was goin down hill and fast and they where breaking up, she was crying daily and was being yelled at by her stepfather. Her mom had no job and was depending on her random friends she had, so whoever she knew that decided to give her a hand, thats where she would end up at. Lynn (my wife) didnt wanna be up and down all the time from state to state or whatever with an unstable mother. Her mother knew about me and she had give the ok to allow her daughter to move in with me, but her family got into it and they didnt want to allow it cause my age and other factors, so someone in her family called police / imigration / etc etc and did all they could to bring me down and put me in jail to stop Lynn from living with me.

I had cops in my door and they interrogated me and searched my Computer, trying to find anything to put me in jail, some guy in her family even did a background check on me and found out where i was working and all. They where describing me as a sex predator or something. They searched online for all my info and her info.

They police then self told me how bad Lynn was and i should let her go and if i flew to her state i was goin to jail and things where gonna get ugly.

(im trying to sum all this up, its really a loooong complicated story)

To sum it up, they couldnt put me in jail. Cause for one, Im Puertorican but i was borned in USA, i have my SS # and BC and all. Number two they found NOTHING to use against me in my Computer

Number 3, i Cared too much for her to let her go and i somehow knew they were talking trash about her and even so, she had changed alot since she met me cause of me, so she no longer was that bad girl they made her up to be. ( and for starters she was "bad" cause they way she had been raised, people dont understand this days that the majority of the time that girls end up being slutty and drugies is cause what they being through life and how their bad friends influence them to do and how stressful their lifes are ) If you do something about this before its too late you can actually help them and they wont turn out to be so bad like the majority are =/

I decided to risk my life and all to help her out, and if something happened to me, well atleast i tried the best i could to help her out and not let her end up like the majority of the teenagers girls end up this days, doing drugs and having a different boyfriend every week.


To do all legal without getting in trouble i had to fly there and marry her in court with her mother consent. And thats what i did.

People need to stop assuming without knowing the person this days, they claimed she was gonna get hurt and pregnant and i was gonna use her etc etc.

But here she is with me, one year later and not pregnant yet and with a job.

We spoke online for a year or so before we actually lived together, and i noticed she had a strong heart and was very matured when it came to love and i really admired that, and its as i thought, she loves me ALOT, there doesnt pass a minute that she would leave my side, from all the girlfriends ive had, Lynn showed me true love. She never gets tired of me, she wants to be around me all the time, she likes to talk to me and do things with me on a daily basis, she would do anything for me.

Sometimes i spaced out in my mind and stayed in the Computer for 4+ hours and what she did? She layed on a chair behind me to make me company. ( how many of your wifes would do that? )

And yes there is a age difference and it has its issues here and there and this is our first time being married but we love each other and we are trying to work hard and understand each other better.

Her father abandoned her when she was a baby, shes being with foster mothers(she was taken away from her real mom at one point) and being in car accidents and has had alot of other things happened to her that im not goin to mention here cause their too personal, that any other girl woud have probably commited suicide.


Now tell me, am i wrong for what i did?

When she was all alone crying in her laptop cause her step dad hit her or was hitting her mom or yelling at them cause he was drunk, who was there to make her smile and support her? I was.

When she was about to make a stupid decision or something dangerous, who told her not to? I did.

When she woke up in the morning with massive period pain or extremely sick and her mother forced her to go to school, and even in pain through all the classes (that she would cry) and when she came back, who spoke to her and tried to cheer her up and make her feel better and not so stressed out? I did.

I put the smile in her face that her parents didnt.
I was there when she needed someone.

Some people think of killing themself cause they have nobody to go to, cause nobody is there for them. They get lonely and sick of life. And what they say? life hates me and god probably doesnt exsist. and they commit suicide. Ive had rough times in my life and trust me, those thoughts have crossed my mind too. I wanted to be something or someone for her to think about and what to come home to, and thats what i was, She was excited to come home to talk to me , even after her stressful days, she was always looking forward to talk to me.

Still, there is only so much i can do, she still wished her mom was with her like other mothers are with their daughters, she wished she had a Dad.

I cant be her dad or mom. I could never replace those.

But i can do my best to try to make her happy and protect her.

Now tell me, isnt it helping a good thing?

Think she would have ended up better with her mother? or me? hmmmm

Who would have spoken to her when she was in her down times? would another sweet guy came along? or maybe some bad kid with bad intentions would have played to be "nice" and then turn around and hurt her more?
hmmmm

Only God knows.

Sorry for the bad grammar and all that stuff, im not really good at english and im in a rush >.<

[Echoside]

You probably feel really adamant about this (not saying I blame you), but all the same people like Zoegirl are really justified in wanting to know more about the situation. The guys that act nice at first then turn abusive is just one example you used that could be a possibility for how YOUR situation might end up. I am not saying this is the case at all, your post just sounded a little defensive at times and I just wanted to say no one is accusing you, people are only concerned as the usual outcome of things like this are negative. That being said, thanks for clarifying, and I dont think its necessarily a sin.

[Ryuzashi]

I apologize if i sounded too defensive >.< Well atleast now they know a bit more of what happened.

[cslewislover]

Some people think of killing themself cause they have nobody to go to, cause nobody is there for them. They get lonely and sick of life. And what they say? life hates me and god probably doesnt exsist. and they commit suicide. Ive had rough times in my life and trust me, those thoughts have crossed my mind too. I wanted to be something or someone for her to think about and what to come home to, and thats what i was, She was excited to come home to talk to me , even after her stressful days, she was always looking forward to talk to me.

But i can do my best to try to make her happy and protect her.

Now tell me, isnt it helping a good thing?

Only God knows.

Ryuzashi, I pray that all goes well. The Lord bless you both!

(And Echoside, yes, that's the case. There are lots of guys who lie and say sweet words to females, and they turn out to be saying them to two or three at a time. Besides there being predators and all that.)

[zoegirl]

While I applaud your heart and your willingness to help her, you also probably realize that she is in a *very* vulnerable position.

Look at it this way, her situation was so bad that *had* you not been a great person, would she have been desperate enough/dependent enough to marry you? Is she seeing you clearly as a person? or as a rescuer? She is only 18 and you were the one who provided the out for her situation.

Is her loyalty/love rooted in an immature, very hurtful place? You may applaud her for laying in a chair for over 4 hours while you worked. But that looks an awful lot like codependence and immaturity. At some point she should be in some counseling.

Think of it this way...a healthy teenage girl is still working through figuring out who she is and she hasn't been able to do this.

Right now she is still struggling from the trauma from the family situation. Of course she is going to be loyal....what choice does she have??

You have helped her get out of a hurtful situation...but she needs to heal.

[Ryuzashi]

I suppose you have a point, lets just pray she heals well and everything works out.

She didnt just sat on a chair, she did stuff on the chair lol... so its not like she was crossed arms xD

But anyways, yeah i know what you mean.

[Jac3510]

For the record, I don't have any problems with your situation, dude. More power to you. I am a major proponent of young marriage. I'm convinced that one of the reasons our teen sex/pregnancy rates are so high is that we tell people to wait until their late 20s to marry. It's absurd.

For all the talk of teenage minds not being as mature as adult minds, I don't see that big of a difference. Perspectives can change, of course, but they will change from 20 to 30 and from 30 to 40 and from 40 to 50 . . . the fundamental mode of thinking doesn't. In biblical times, people were considered an adult at 13. I don't have a problem with that. This entire notion that teenagers are somehow not really adult is downright silly and I think the cause of a LOT of our problems.

Congratz on the marriage. In the end, it isn't romantic "love" that will keep you together. It's nothing more than commitment, both to one another and to Christ. In that, I would HIGHLY recommend the following sermon.

Dr. Voddie Baucham - CBU Chapel Pt. 1
Dr. Voddie Baucham - CBU Chapel Pt. 2
Dr. Voddie Baucham - CBU Chapel Pt. 3

The first is outstanding. The next two are very good and I think are very important. In fact, pretty much everything by him on the family is amazing. I hope they bless you as much as they blessed me.

God bless

[zoegirl]

Considering the situation, though, she *hasn't* had the normal, healthy upbringing that some teenagers have had.

There are healthy teenagers that I would have no problem seeing getting married early. she doesn't sound like one of them. She has been abused by both her father and mother and she is in a relationship that was essentially born from a rescue.

Bottom line, she needs counseling.

There *is* a huge difference between a 17 year old girl and a 27 year old man.

And if a girl of 14-17 is such an adult, then by all means, let's revoke all parental consent laws for abortion.

[ageofknowledge]

I wonder where the cutoff is for Jac. 16 / 95 ????