Church friends and longevity

[ageofknowledge]

I realized that after 22 years of being a Christian, I don't have a single friend from any of the many churches I attended in the past except for the church I go to now. It's as if I went to church for 22 years and after the hugging is over with not a single one of them I am in contact with today.

Church congregations where I live are highly mobile with people coming and going all the time. Everyone I knew is long gone.

How about yourself?

[jlay]

My wife and I have very dear friends in our church. And I stay in touch with some of them who have moved on. Most of the people we are close with are not transient. I also have very close friends in my Men's group which is not denominational or tied to any one church. These are my life long friends and I do stay in touch with the one's who have moved. Not all, but most.

[zoegirl]

Agree, age, many of the friends made in churches of long ago have not kept in contact.

For me, the friends issue correlates with the married/single state. especially in the 30's. Most of my female friends have been llong since married and while I tried to keep in contact, family life and married life pretty much disrupted that. They have definite interests that are different than mine.

And it's not really good protocol to make friends with married men, even though I probably have more in common with them than I do with their wives. So I keep my distance.


Although I will say that facebook has opened some of them up again. However, it's more of just keeping up with them and not really a friendship.

[cslewislover]

I realized that after 22 years of being a Christian, I don't have a single friend from any of the many churches I attended in the past except for the church I go to now. It's as if I went to church for 22 years and after the hugging is over with not a single one of them I am in contact with today.

Church congregations where I live are highly mobile with people coming and going all the time. Everyone I knew is long gone.

How about yourself?

I have had the same difficulty, pretty much. I'm taking more time to get to know people at the church I go to now, I mean, I'm taking it very slow right now. I didn't grow up here either, so my friends and family are not here.

[ageofknowledge]

Agree, age, many of the friends made in churches of long ago have not kept in contact.

For me, the friends issue correlates with the married/single state. especially in the 30's. Most of my female friends have been llong since married and while I tried to keep in contact, family life and married life pretty much disrupted that. They have definite interests that are different than mine.

And it's not really good protocol to make friends with married men, even though I probably have more in common with them than I do with their wives. So I keep my distance.


Although I will say that facebook has opened some of them up again. However, it's more of just keeping up with them and not really a friendship.

Ditto. Being single I see a lot here I experienced as well.

[Silvertusk]

It is a bit weird for me. All my best and dearest friends are not religious or Christian. I wish they were, but that is how it is. The people at church, although they are really nice people I would not consider them "good" friends in the truest sense of the word - I would not console with them about my problems - which is kinda missing the point I know. To be honest - I cannot get over that block. I just dont see them as people I would like to share my problems with. I believe it is probably an issue with my attitude rather than them.

[Gman]

I realized that after 22 years of being a Christian, I don't have a single friend from any of the many churches I attended in the past except for the church I go to now. It's as if I went to church for 22 years and after the hugging is over with not a single one of them I am in contact with today.

I've only got one true friend I've gained from Church. Others are long gone too, or moved away. This wasn't the case I believe 30 - 40 years ago at least with my parents culture. It's more of a modern thing.

I also believe it's more of a problem with whites.. We are just to dam independent from the other cultures.

[Gman]

Maybe we belong to the island of misfits? Broken toys...

[ageofknowledge]

This thread is revealing a common trend in more urban modern churches that most people wouldn't have a clue about looking in from the outside. Despite all the hugging and talk of great love for each other, few evangelical Christians in urban environments actually develop long term close relationships with each other outside of family and marriage relationships.

[Furstentum Liechtenstein]

I realized that after 22 years of being a Christian, I don't have a single friend from any of the many churches I attended in the past except for the church I go to now. It's as if I went to church for 22 years and after the hugging is over with not a single one of them I am in contact with today.

Church congregations where I live are highly mobile with people coming and going all the time. Everyone I knew is long gone.

How about yourself?

I have born-again friends outside my church but wouldn't want to frequent any church member apart from that very short period of time on Sunday...I just couldn't stand being called «brother», being hugged publicly and saying grace over a cup of coffee. I enjoy worship but I just don't do social religion very well.

FL

[Silvertusk]

"Social Religion" Thats a term that sums it up nicely. I am not very good ant social religion either.

Silvertusk

[Jac3510]

While I've had many "friends" in churches with whom I've lost contact, most of the dearest friends I have today come directly from my involvement with past churches. In fact, all my closest and longest running friendships are former-fellow worshipers (that date back to my single days). Maybe I'm the odd exception . . . of course, I was never good at "secular" socialization, anyway, so if I were to develop these true friendships, they would almost have to come out of a church background.

[Byblos]

I have born-again friends outside my church but wouldn't want to frequent any church member apart from that very short period of time on Sunday...I just couldn't stand being called «brother», being hugged publicly and saying grace over a cup of coffee. I enjoy worship but I just don't do social religion very well.

FL

Good to see you back FL, how have you been?

[ageofknowledge]

While I've had many "friends" in churches with whom I've lost contact, most of the dearest friends I have today come directly from my involvement with past churches. In fact, all my closest and longest running friendships are former-fellow worshipers (that date back to my single days). Maybe I'm the odd exception . . . of course, I was never good at "secular" socialization, anyway, so if I were to develop these true friendships, they would almost have to come out of a church background.

You are not a member of an evangelical church though are you? I thought you were Eastern Orthodox. I am differentiating between the megachurch evangelical Christian communities and more cloistered communities which have certain ethnic and language makeups, ritualisms, and unique beliefs that tend to produce relationship longevity for those that remain.

You'll possibly say no, of course, since you disagree with almost everything I say (lolol); however, communities that are bound together by these "glues" often have much lengthier relationships between members that remain in them in my observations.

Distinctive ethnic, language, ritual, beliefs, etc... factors make for tighter communities. Interestingly, this certainly isn't always desirable. For example, if I asked the same question of Mormons I would get very different responses than evangelicals. Their unique belief system, though heretically false, binds their members together in ways evangelicalism simply doesn't. Same with Jehovah Witnesses. Same with Seventh Day Adventists, though despite their false prophetess (e.g. Ellen White) are classified as evangelical. Of course, the unique factors that define SDA are the reasons for their relationship longevity.

[BavarianWheels]

Same with Seventh Day Adventists, though despite their false prophetess (e.g. Ellen White) are classified as evangelical. Of course, the unique factors that define SDA are the reasons for their relationship longevity.

Damn SDA's.
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