Seraph wrote:Hey everyone. Wow it's been forever since I've posted here, I need to post here more...
Anyway, in the past few months I've been struggling with an issue. I'm not really sure how to put it into words either. I've had a rather overwhelming urge to participate in something with others that in itself isn't sexual at all, yet I guess I gotta admit I get somewhat of a "thrill" from it. I'm not really at liberty to just blurt out what this thing is here, though its kinda hard to get other Christians insight on it without saying what it is, so I'm not sure what to do
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Some Christians have told me it's not healthy, while others feel that theres nothing wrong with it. I myself have been debating whether it's a sin or not, theres nothing in Gods Word that says this thing is wrong. It seems like the natural thing to do would go "If in doubt, its best not to do it." But at the same time, the desire to is pretty intense...
Hi Seraph,
Thanks for posting and glad to see you again.
While it is a little hard to answer without knowing specifics, you've said enough here that I think I get the drift. First off, asking based on whether something is allowable is a common approach but I think it gets things backwards for a believer. I think the healthier thing to ask is not whether something is allowable or not, but whether it leads to strengthening or weakening your relationship with God and other brothers and sisters in Christ.
In a marriage, for example, it might be perfectly legal for the husband to spend 5 nights a week out bowling, but if he does that and continues to do it while leaving his wife at home without time and conversation, valuing and building that relationship it's pretty predictable that that relationship at best is going to just glide without much depth and at worst is going to result in a diminishing of the quality of that relationship.
A strong desire to do something isn't necessarily wrong. We're not called in every instance to be ascetic hermits with no enjoyment in our lives. Jesus lived and spent time at weddings, in private homes at celebrations and parties so much so that his critics criticized him as being a winebibber and whoremonger. I think God wants us to enjoy his creation and our relationship with others, but first and foremost He invites us to walk and be in relationship with Him and to know that Christ moves within us and goes with us whatever we do and where-ever we go. So for me, I find that worrying about what is "allowable" or "not allowable" is really starting from a place that misses the whole point. There are lots of things that are allowable that don't even come into the picture of what I want to do because it just doesn't lead to the strengthening and building of a relationship with Christ. Thankfully too, there are many things that I can enjoy because God made them to be enjoyed. Then too, many things that can be enjoyed become an issue if it leads to addiction or abuse. Then it becomes an issue of something good abused or out of balance.
So without knowing exactly what you're talking about that's the best I can offer. Even knowing what it is, this may be the best I can offer. Living life as a believer under a set of do's and don'ts misses the point that God wants us moving and living in relationship with Him to where we're doing what is right without even really having to worry about things. It's an instinct that grows with a deeper relationship and spiritual maturity.
I think you probably already know deep down what is right in this instance and whether it will lead to growth in Christ or a distraction. Develop that spiritual ear as you walk more with Him. It will come.
blessings,
bart
Dogmatism is the comfortable intellectual framework of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is more decadent than the worst sexual sin. ~ Dan Allender
