I still lurk here, thanks for checking on me. Doing much better. Dr. Habermas didn't give up on me, and Dr. Copan helped me as well. I'm not saying I'm out of the woods yet, but I'm doing much better. I spent the better part of a year trying to find cracks in the resurrection, and I couldn't do it. As Dr. Craig says, if you believe God exists, the resurrection starts to look extremely likely. I've tried to take Dr. Craig's advice and leave things on the shelf that I don't understand yet, and try to attack them one by one as time goes by. I try to give some parts of the OT the benefit of the doubt since some things that looked bad for the OT in the past have proven to be correct. I also heard an interview Dr. Craig did where someone asked him if he had doubts, and he mentioned some things that bothered him from time to time, which turned out to be some of the same things that bother me. It was both extremely encouraging and extremely harrowing to hear him say that if it makes any sense.
It's been hard, there is no way around it. I was taught a lot of things growing up that are not true, and its been a big adjustment. The biggest part of my struggles often dealt with science. I really wanted Dembski and Behe to be right about a lot of things, but I've been reading Collins and Denis Alexander, and I think that they are probably closer to the truth. I don't mean to open a can of worms on that front (I know this is primarily an ID site), I'm just saying its been part of the process. Its such an alien concept to me, faith and that type of science. My views on that type of thing would make me a pariah in my church if they were known. I don't want to ever lie to my kids though, I'm going to try to teach them the truth, whether its the Bible or science. Its going to cause problems in my family, but I do not want them to face the things I have. It will not seem odd to them to talk about evolution one minute and then Christianity the next. As best I can tell after as much study and reading as my feeble mind could take, both are true. Its an odd world. I keep trying to remind myself not to conflate evolution and naturalism. I've been studying some philosophy and that helps. Naturalism breaks down pretty quickly in philosophy. In my amateurish understanding, it forces you into some rather absurd positions, correct? That's helped. I still struggle, but I'm doing better.
I apologize for the childish ranting up thread. Just understand, some of the decisions I'm faced with are going to have serious ramifications with my family and church as time goes on. But I can't teach my kids things that aren't true. I hope they end up far wiser than I turned out. Thank you to everyone for your help.