catherine wrote:I do believe my experience with the JWs left me spiritually wounded. They are 'against' Christendom and so do a good job of putting you off 'churches'.
It wasn't so much me 'seeing through their errors' but more me 'turning my back of 'the truth' as they call it. I could see they were wrong on things like 'blood', but I thought they were 'right' on enough stuff. They are very legalistic and I found it hard to live that way e.g going out on the work every week, trying to distance myself from the 'world' when I lived in a house of 'unbelievers'. It made me depressed. I'd already had boyfriends by 15 so I had the tug of the world and it's ways beckoning me back and so I left them (and I thought God). When I went to the meetings I did feel a 'connectedness' there which I don't think I've ever felt so strongly at any church. I was young though and you are more impressionable when you are young, so I don't know if that assured feeling was spiritual or just me feeling secure amoung people who seemed to be God's people.
As for 'assurance' I don't believe it is a 'road to Damascus' experience I'm wanting. I know Jesus isn't going to appear to me and confirm all my doubts etc and say 'be assured now'. It's an inner working of the Holy Spirit that the scriptures tell us He does. The Holy Spirit is to bear witness with my spirit that the 'good news' is indeed true etc and the result of that is assurance, peace maybe. Perhaps I've sinned too much and turned my back on God too many times and I can't receive the Holy Spirit? When I've gone to churches in the past year I've been hoping to 'meet' Jesus there, that is, know He is present in His Spirit. I even go to a Christian Book Shop in their cafe hoping He'll be there and help me.
If we look at that verse I quoted from 1 Thess 1:5, this is a powerful verse. It is saying to me that just having a 'head knowledge' of the 'good news' isn't what you receive in the 'New Covenant'. You also receive the Holy Spirit which brings alive this head knowledge so that you have the assurance that this knowledge is true. I don't think I've received the baptism of the Holy Spirit yet, and maybe I need laying on of hands for that. I'm praying about whether this is the case and if God can provide the means to me receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit, whether on my own or by the help of two or three gathered in His name. Maybe I need to have water baptism first. I got baptised in the sea about 15 years ago, but at the time I don't know if I was really doing it for the right reasons or to please other people. I'm not sure.
The working of the Holy Spirit isn't necessarily supernatural. Consider the story of the drowning man. He gets himself into a situation where he is treading water to stay afloat out at sea. He cries out to God and prays to be rescued. A boat comes along and those onboard attempt to rescue the man. But he resists believing that God will come to his rescue. The boat sails on, and the man again calls out to God to rescue him. Another boat passes by and attempts to perform a rescue, but the man again resists and the boat sails on. The man cries out to God a third time and a third boat approaches and the man again rejects the efforts of those onboard to save him. After the third boat sails on the man drowns. Now dead, the man asks God, "why didn't you save me?" God replies, "I sent three boats your way but you passed each one up."
I think sometimes we are looking too much for a supernatural working, or revelation of the Holy Spirit, and fail to see His natural working. The Holy Spirit has been with us since Christ ascended. He bears witness with our spirit through truth, Scripture, people in our lives, and more often than not via natural means. Ageofknowledge who use to frequent here, seemed to understand this fact better than most.
Being raised by Pentecostal parents I was like the man in that story for some time. Always wanting a supernatural experience. And my faith in God suffered somewhat because of it. At around 18 years of age, unlike you, but similar to you, I said a crossroad prayer to God asking for a sign that He is real. I didn't just want feelings that He was real, but I wanted "assurance" through a divine supernatural experience. I wanted the shining light. Instead, I got more feelings and what I perceived to be close experiences with God. While these were reassuring, it was not the assurance I wanted.
Shortly after that prayer, I moved into a new place. Soon JWs began knocking on my door. I invited them in, and we discussed many issues about God including blood transfusions (which they were taught artificial blood worked just as well!), and particularly the Holy Spirit and Trinity which they took exception to. I was for the first time depending on myself to reason through what I believe, and I knew they were wrong about the Trinity because I just knew. To be wrong, would mean my personal relationship and experiences with God and the Holy Spirit were wrong, and if you knew my life and what I had been through, that is an awful lot to topple. But, I needed reasons. So I ordered a series of books by Martin Lloyd-Jones to do with The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Within, I had enough Scripture to convince me I was on safe ground Scripturally believing in Christ's divinity.
I began coming across some Christian sites, this website, and began an inward road into reading Christian apologetics and debating Atheists online. I received the assurance I needed and had prayed for, albeit it was not what I had in mind. Now I can't be undone, but I still hope to obtain a fuller revelation of God. If it doesn't happen in this life, then I know that day will come when I die. Until then, I can see God's hand that has guided my life, protected me from myself when I needed protection, guided me through pain and heartache, personal and family problems while growing up. I can clearly see the footsteps of the Holy Spirit in the sand even if I don't physically see Him. And now I have many blessings in my life - a loving wife, a beautiful daughter and son, financial blessings (even if I am kind of out of a job right now!), house (and mortgage)...
Maybe they're not all blessings.
But I've walked with God long enough to trust whatever happens is a part of God's plan, and if I thwart plan A, He has a plan B, although plan A probably would have been a lot easier for myself!
So I have a respect for JWs, which I know they don't have for me when they visit (at least I feel they are just humouring me and that they really think I belong to Satan), since they were used in God's plan to answer my "crossroad" prayer. Of all people, JWs helped me to put reason to my faith rather than just religious experiences. Don't fret. I am sure you will have occasions where you feel close to God, that He is right there, and if you haven't I think you count on those times to come. They are good to have and help to reinforce the personal side to our God. Both experience and reason are important to have. However, we are not saved by either. We are saved by Christ and hoping in Him.
In 1 Thess 1:3, two verses before 1 Thess 1:5, we read: "
remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." What is "hope"? Is it not to believe something to be the case, which may not be the case? Where is our assurance in this? Paul even says if Christ did not rise then Christians are to be pitied above all because we believe we are saved but still remain in our sin. Some others here might disagree with this, however we can have some assurance, even a strong assurance that we are saved, but it is impossible to be completely assured. This is why we place our
hope in Christ. We are not called to be completely assured in Christ, but called to hope in and believe Christ's promises. That is not to say assurance cannot be had, but any assurance is built upon belief, and belief upon knowledge and our knowledge of things may be wrong. But, I would be entirely shocked to find out when I die given all I know and have experienced that I am to pitied above all for my belief and hope in Christ.
Anyway, enough rambling again. I just hope some of what I have written helped to put into context the type of assurance we should have, and can realistically have. You continue to be in my prayers.
PS The Lord wants our emotions under the control of the Spirit. Hope that helps.
I'll say more about this as I reply to Kurieuo and Sharon. Thanks for your help in this B.W. I much appreciate it. 
I did half agree with what you said. I do think it is important not to forsake the gathering of yourselves together, as Paul encourages us, because I think like one solitary lump of burning coal, it will soon 'go out' if left to burn on it's own. If you put it in the fire with the other 'coals' it will continue to burn. I think it's too easy to fall into your old habits and ways if you stay isolated on your own. I for one, need help and encouragement. Also, when there are a group of believers coming together to worship God, there seems to be more power in the worship. I am on my own at the minute because I don't know where I'm meant to meet with other believers, but I hope it won't be for long. Then again, I'm not really on my own, because I get fellowship here with you guys. Thank you for your post, and sorry if I offended you before.