Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
- Gman
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
What do you call a blond between two brunettes?
A wind tunnel..
A wind tunnel..
The heart cannot rejoice in what the mind rejects as false - Galileo
We learn from history that we do not learn from history - Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. -Philippians 4:8
We learn from history that we do not learn from history - Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. -Philippians 4:8
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Why are blonde's only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks?
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It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.
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It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde woman?
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There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot
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There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
How do you make a blondie laugh on a Saturday?
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Tell her a joke on a Wednesday...
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Tell her a joke on a Wednesday...
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- B. W.
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Here are four blonde jokes...
FIRST
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 1,500 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
SECOND
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!
THRID
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all' A friend asks, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. It's W.'
FORTH
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
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FIRST
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 1,500 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
SECOND
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!
THRID
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all' A friend asks, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. It's W.'
FORTH
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
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Science is man's invention - creation is God's
(by B. W. Melvin)
Old Polish Proverb:
Not my Circus....not my monkeys
(by B. W. Melvin)
Old Polish Proverb:
Not my Circus....not my monkeys
- zoegirl
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
D'oh!!
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
- For_Narniaaa
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
DannyM wrote:How do you make a blondie laugh on a Saturday?
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Tell her a joke on a Wednesday...
"Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge." ~Proverbs 1:7
"The God of the universe---the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor---loves you with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love." ~Francis Chan
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
This made me laugh like a little school girl.
- Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
But...but...your profile says that you are a guy...! Are you blond?Fastblade113 wrote:This made me laugh like a little school girl.
FL
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
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If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
- Harry12345
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
A blonde walks into a library, and says, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?"
The librarian says, "Madam, this is a library!"
The blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?"
The librarian says, "Madam, this is a library!"
The blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?"
If you're born once, you die twice; but if you're born twice, you die once.
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
Harry12345 wrote:A blonde walks into a library, and says, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?"
The librarian says, "Madam, this is a library!"
The blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?"
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- sinnerbybirth
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck,
and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my
name is Rachel and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl
catches up again. She jumps out of her car,
runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've
never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is
Rachel, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car,
runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls
down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Rachel,
and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up
and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of
the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it,
he says...
"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Minnesota and
I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck,
and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my
name is Rachel and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl
catches up again. She jumps out of her car,
runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've
never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is
Rachel, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car,
runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls
down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Rachel,
and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up
and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of
the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it,
he says...
"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Minnesota and
I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
- RickD
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
sinnerbybirth wrote:As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck,
and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my
name is Rachel and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl
catches up again. She jumps out of her car,
runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've
never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is
Rachel, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car,
runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls
down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Rachel,
and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up
and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of
the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it,
he says...
"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Minnesota and
I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
- Kristoffer
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Re: Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads
A blonde walks down the street,
"You look dashing" someone says.
I know I do. My ego is HUGE.
"You look dashing" someone says.
I know I do. My ego is HUGE.