I feel miserable

[CeT-To]

hey guys, i just wanted to ask for some help or advice in my situation.

I really dont feel saved..i feel like im constantly letting the Lord down...i dont feel like a christian because im not even out there doing what a Christian was saved for... i go to school and its my last year and people tell me im supposed to concentrate and leave everything for later but... i feel like i cant do that with God... i know i must put him 1st but it just feels like i have one foot in each world i ask the Lord to guide me in my life ...bring me where He wants me to be almost every day but sometimes i feel so disgusted with myself i cannot bring myself to prayer because of how ashamed i am. I really want to have one of those special experiences with God but nothing... and i feel its like this because i dont do enough for the Lord ...maybe i should witness more...i tried last night but it ended horribly and well it was over msn and i know i was starting to get mad or angry even tho i typed normally....she was talking about hope and challenges in life and i responded to her how everything is pointless in her world view but every time i asked why she believed in what she believed ...she just became more mad and this ALL WAYS happens. I feel like im not emitting enough love into my life ... i do the occasional good thing but there are those moments for example when i fight with my sisters than my nerves just fly off..only a couple of times i have managed to keep my cool and try to reason with her ( with no luck- although she is 11 yrs old) or even at school i say something stupid when i KNOW its wrong yet i follow through with it .

Also when i go to church ( im catholic) everything feels systematical like first we do this, then that , then Holy Communion etc etc....i have to say that my favourite part when i go to mass is when the priest speaks informally about life... i just wish they could make the Gospel more exiting, its just the same thing every week and do not get me wrong i do agree with most of the teachings i know from them but im having a hard time finding the passion when he speaks and recently ive been having a hard time going to church for that reason...I dont know what to do anymore..im a 17 year old kid and ive been feeling miserable for the past maybe month or so ( maybe a tad more not sure) . Dont get me wrong im not losing faith, even tho i do have moments in my life where i have little faith but i just wish so badly that i can experience something special from Him ..i guess the correct term is Baptised in the Holy Spirit i think. I dont know maybe God wants it this way for now so that my faith will grow or maybe im not being Christian enough...i just wish i had a clear picture. I guess its been some what 9 or 10 months ive recognised the Lord ( before i hardly went to church and just used to be one of those people that didnt really know anything about God and didnt really try to understand him..it became tradition) but i dont even know if i can call myself a Christian.

I dont feel saved but i do feel miserable. I wish i had a mentor ..who was mature in Christ.


God bless you guys

[Telstra Robs]

I have little experience in these matters but there is one thing that I know will work for you. Prayer. You have probably been told this before, but it works. Talking to God about such matters helps. Talk to him like you would a friend, for God is a friend. Ask him for help with your problems.

There is one more thing. There is a man named K.P. Yohannan. He has written a number of books which he has supplied freely for download over the internet. I have found such books to be very useful. Perhaps there is one book you will find useful. http://gospelforasia.org.au/pdf-book_download.php

I hope I've helped.

[zoegirl]

Cet-to,

First I will pray for you.

Second, I used to think that there was some certain number or times or method to witnessing. But witnessing does not mean you use some sort of formula or must try to inject Christ into every conversation, as if He were part of a checklist. Talk to people, love them, be a good witness in how you interact and in your character and the rest will follow. (internet witnessing I think has to be limited to that, at least at first, since you really don't know people)

I will get back to you laTer, but I have to teach now. But I can empathize with you and please know that I am praying for you.

[J.Davis]

Hi Cet-To!

Whatever you do, do not give up…Ever…Reject the idea that giving up is a choice all together, get it out of your heart and mind. And don‘t think about it again….

You know for a fact that you are human right? You don’t give yourself a choice concerning that. That is the same way you need to treat Christianity and God. You were reborn when you accepted Jesus. You are a Christian now and that is simply a matter of fact. So whatever you do, get the thoughts that you are having out of your head. Get rid of them and never think of those things again. If you feel yourself starting to think about them then change your mind and think on God. Also, if you are addicted to a particular sin then you need to fight as hard as you can to break it. I am talking about something you keep doing over and over. Any sin you acknowledge as a sin and every time you do it, it makes you feel bad or depressed. Sin like that will keep you away from God because you keep asking him for forgiveness but go right back to doing it so you feel undeserving of his forgiveness because you can not forgive yourself.

After you break the habit (with God’s help) you will feel more confident and you will allow yourself to go to God more often. But remember, your feelings are your own. God is not like us, he loves you and forgives you every single time, no matter what. You just have to make sure you love yourself and your actions or you will treat God like he is treating you the way you feel you deserve to be treated.

Also, you said you are catholic…I don’t know everything they teach but I do know they have quite a few traditions, rituals and extra books in the bible. Jesus, Jesus and more Jesus. That’s all that matters, not Mary or anyone else. It’s just you and Jesus as for as your relationship goes and he does not want anyone else in involved or anyone else getting glory for your salvation.

And if you really want to get to God than get determined….This is what I did.

I have been around Christians most of my life… I saw my parents, bothers and church members speaking and tongues. And I always thought I was a very committed Christian, playing the piano in church and ministering for God. But no matter what I did or how hard I tried or how many pastors prayed for me, I could not speak in tongues or feel the holy ghost. And I was always taught that if you were saved then you can speak in tongues, not that you have to to be saved, that’s not what I’m saying.

Anyway…One day (when I was still in my teens)..my family left town and I had the house all to myself. I started to play the piano and talk to God. I told him that I was going to pray and pray until he touched me and I spoke in tongues or I was going to keep praying until I died of dehydration and found out for myself if he existed or not. (It was a mind set, not suggesting that anyone do anything dangerous).

It took me 8 hours Cet-To, I prayed for 8 hours straight without any intentions of moving until I was either dead or he proved to me that he was real.

He touched me and I began to speak in tongues, it was real Cet-To and I have never been the same. His presence is like nothing on this earth. I think I must have prayed for 5 more hours after I got it just out of pure joy!

I was never the kind of Christian to fallout just because the pastor touched me. I never tried to fake like I could feel God nor did I have a desire to. And I never could understand why it was so hard for me and so easy for others. I have a very logical mind so maybe that had something to do with it.

But I did not get hands laid on me by some pastor or oil put on my head when I received it. I asked God to prove to me that he is real and he did. All I had to do was make up my mind that I was going to find out if he was real and if his word was true.

Everyone in my family started speaking in tongues in minutes after they got prayed for. And it took 8 hours with me and four hours with a determined friend of mine. I have no clue why but one thing is for sure. If you can speak in tongues than praying for a really long time is a breeze, being that you don’t have to think of words.

If you want to try to pray in the sprite and speak in tongues than go after it, it may not even take long or it might. But pray with the intent for something to happen. Seek God and look for a true physical awesome force to touch you. If you get thoughts that are not focused on your Goal than think on your goal (speaking in tongues) harder. I was taught that you speak in tongues when you get the holy ghost so I said Jesus fill me with the holy ghost over and over and over maybe a few hundred times along with other variations of the same thing. That’s what I said at the time and that’s what did it. No need to get technical about it, God knows the heart and knows what we are going after. Saying Jesus fill me with the gift of tongues would probably work too. But I do believe that every Christian that wants it can have it. And this is not something you are begging for. Pray with confidence and know for a fact that it will happen because he promised it would. No need to get upset, just stay focused and look for that touch with greater and greater anticipation. Don’t get lazy about it…be determined and go after it with all you have. Like I said, it may happen in minutes or seconds or it may take longer but know that you are going to get it.

All that stuff in the bible about gifts and miracles is real Cet-To.

[smiley]

"Christian" means Christ-like. None of us are anywhere near Christ-like, and anyone who says otherwise is either lying, or delusional. So yes, you're definitely not being "enough" Christian, you're not being a "Christian" at all. And this isn't something to be ashamed of because no one is.

Your problem is just an unfortunate consequence of the Lordship view of salvation. The fact that you're having these doubts to begin with IS the only rational reason why you might have to worry about your salvation, not the lack of "Christian behavior". No amount of so-called "Christian behavior" will change your status as a filthy sinner who deserves to be tossed into the lake of fire in God's eyes.

My advice is to relax, and trust Jesus' promise:

“For God so aloved the world, that He bgave His 1conly begotten Son, that whoever dbelieves in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

Work towards being a better person, but not out of fear of Hell, but out of adoration and admiration of Jesus Christ. Furthermore, always be aware of that you will never be "enough Christian", no matter how good you are, for the best of your good works are filthy rags.

Or you can lie to yourself that you're Jesus' disciple (like many people on this forum) even though you have not given up your family, denied yourself, and gave away all your property to the needy.

[jlay]

First,
You need to ask yourself, 'how am I saved?' Is it by how you feel? Of course not. Is it by joining the right religious group or church? Nope.

What does God's Word say? How is one, 'born again?'
1 John 5:1 'Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God....'
John 3:16
John 5:24
Eph. 2:8-9

but i just wish so badly that i can experience something special from Him

First, experience the gift that you have salvation by believing on Him whom God sent. What greater experience than to simply trust Christ, and know that you have passed from death to life. Once you are a child then you can put John 14:21 to the test. Want Him manifest in your life? Then obey Him. You obey Him by first trusting Him. If you refuse to trust that you are saved by believing on Him, then you trample underfoot the Son of God, and make Him a liar. (Heb 10:29)

Now, if you continue to read 1 John you will find that this is a wonderful book on how a child restores their fellowship with their Father.
This means you aren't trusting a religious system. RCC, baptist, etc. You are trusting the work and message of Christ. It is good that you are concerned about your sin, and your lack of fellowship with the Lord. This in itself could be the working of the HS within you. If you are not saved, then slowly, intentionally study through the Gosple of John. "But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name."(John 20:31) You will either trust who Jesus is, what He said, and what He did, and be saved, or you will not. If you have, then you will either trust what He has said about how you are saved and learn how to walk in that trust for your life and produce fruit worthy of repentance, or you won't, and you will wither.

I dont feel saved but i do feel miserable. I wish i had a mentor ..who was mature in Christ.

If you trust Him, you will have a mentor. You will have the greatest counselor the world knows. The Holy Spirit. Jesus says, if you will trust Him, (John 14:1) that He and the Father will make their home with you. John 14:23. If you will humble yourself to study His Word and trust the Holy Spirit to guide you, He can make you wise unto salvation. (2 Tim 3:15)

You are incapable of emitting enough love if you work out of your own resource. You are incapable of being a witness if you are not His, and are not trusting Him.

Love to talk more with you about this. Hope this is a good start.

[ChrisB]

Cet-To, I can identify with you, as I have and still sometimes do feel the way you do. Everyone struggles with doubt at some point.

Now, whether or not you "feel" saved makes no difference as to whether or not you are saved. You were SAVED the moment you gave your life to Jesus, and nothing in this world can change that.

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand." (John 10:27-29, NKJV)

"For I am persuaded that neither life nor death, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39, NKJV)

"In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory." (Ephesians 1:13-14, NKJV)

Therefore do'nt worry about your salvation. You cannot lose it, because you did not earn it (Eph. 2:8-9).

The only advise I can offer you is to pray. Pray to God in the Spirit, and explain your needs to Him as to a parent or friend. Pray for wisdom, pray for understanding. Ask the Lord how He can use you each day. It is not the size of your service that matters, only the amount of love you put into it. The Lord notices even the smallest service (Mark 9:41, NKJV).

Trust the truth, and not your feelings.

[bculpepper18]

Jesus says, "He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved."(Mark 16:16) You must be absolutely certain that you have been baptized IN THE WAY THAT JESUS INSTRUCTED US TO!! Sprinkling a baby on the head is not true baptism, because an infant has not the knowledge of sin nor the knowledge to repent nor the knowledge to believe that Jesus payed for his sin nor the voice to confess Jesus as Lord before men, all of which the Bible says are required for salvation. There are plenty of passages in the Bible which show men being baptized by Jesus' disciples in the proper way. Also, when you are baptized, make sure you are COMPLETELY COVERED in water, and if I were you I would definitely get baptized by someone who I know has the Holy Spirit dwelling in him, such as Tom Brown, who can heal, speak in tongues, cast out demons,etc. When you truly have believed and been baptized, the Lord promises the Holy Spirit (Who is exactly the Mentor you are looking for) to those who ask Him. You will KNOW you have the Holy Spirit in you whenever He decides to enter your body, because you will literally feel Him and He will give you Divine Power like that of the disciples and all legitimate Penticostals. You do not have to be "special" to receive the Holy Spirit. You just have to believe and be baptized. The Holy Ghost will literally empower you not to sin. This link http://www.cbm.org.uk/lft_baptism.htm will tell you everything you need to know about baptism(and salvation for that matter) and what happens when you are filled with the Holy Ghost. But I cannot think of any better faith-booster than to tell you to watch two particular online sermons by Tom Brown. Go to tbm.org and click on "online tv." Then watch these three sermons in this exact order: "The Prayer of Faith," "The Spirit in the Life of the Believer," and "I Do Believe." These will show you how to believe and that once you literally experience a receiving of the Holy Spirit, there will be no more doubt AT ALL. The Holy Spirit will literally empower you to live as a Christian.

[B. W.]

Hey Ce-To

let me cry with you...

We try to help you here... be what mentors we can be over the wires but I'll pray you find someone to help you. Also, Read 1 Corinthians 12 - everybody has a part in the Kingdom but not all have the same functions. Often we need to sit still and feed off the word for awhile. If church is dry, Think of Abraham - God told him to up and move so if your church is not feeling right, might be a time to look elsewhere -maybe the reason you wrote here was to hear this one thing about seeking another church. I know of some in your age bracket who had gone to International House of Prayer (IHOP) when school was out and came back primed. I do not know much about that group but those attending come back home changed in a positive manner, something to think about.

And oh yes, I've been where you are at now and felt the same way too. Remember witnessing is like sowing seeds. Often, you sow seeds into people’s lives for someone else to harvest later on. We sow a lot of seeds; the Lord brings in the harvest in his time. Do not let people play guilt trips on you, about failure or not doing enough, not even yourself. You have done a lot of good here!

You have sown many good seeds on this forum to countless people and even helped me learn a few things ol buddy.

So keep up the good work!
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hey guys, i just wanted to ask for some help or advice in my situation.

I really dont feel saved..i feel like im constantly letting the Lord down...i dont feel like a christian because im not even out there doing what a Christian was saved for... i go to school and its my last year and people tell me im supposed to concentrate and leave everything for later but... i feel like i cant do that with God... i know i must put him 1st but it just feels like i have one foot in each world i ask the Lord to guide me in my life ...bring me where He wants me to be almost every day but sometimes i feel so disgusted with myself i cannot bring myself to prayer because of how ashamed i am. I really want to have one of those special experiences with God but nothing... and i feel its like this because i dont do enough for the Lord ...maybe i should witness more...i tried last night but it ended horribly and well it was over msn and i know i was starting to get mad or angry even tho i typed normally....she was talking about hope and challenges in life and i responded to her how everything is pointless in her world view but every time i asked why she believed in what she believed ...she just became more mad and this ALL WAYS happens. I feel like im not emitting enough love into my life ... i do the occasional good thing but there are those moments for example when i fight with my sisters than my nerves just fly off..only a couple of times i have managed to keep my cool and try to reason with her ( with no luck- although she is 11 yrs old) or even at school i say something stupid when i KNOW its wrong yet i follow through with it .

Also when i go to church ( im catholic) everything feels systematical like first we do this, then that , then Holy Communion etc etc....i have to say that my favourite part when i go to mass is when the priest speaks informally about life... i just wish they could make the Gospel more exiting, its just the same thing every week and do not get me wrong i do agree with most of the teachings i know from them but im having a hard time finding the passion when he speaks and recently ive been having a hard time going to church for that reason...I dont know what to do anymore..im a 17 year old kid and ive been feeling miserable for the past maybe month or so ( maybe a tad more not sure) . Dont get me wrong im not losing faith, even tho i do have moments in my life where i have little faith but i just wish so badly that i can experience something special from Him ..i guess the correct term is Baptised in the Holy Spirit i think. I dont know maybe God wants it this way for now so that my faith will grow or maybe im not being Christian enough...i just wish i had a clear picture. I guess its been some what 9 or 10 months ive recognised the Lord ( before i hardly went to church and just used to be one of those people that didnt really know anything about God and didnt really try to understand him..it became tradition) but i dont even know if i can call myself a Christian.

I dont feel saved but i do feel miserable. I wish i had a mentor ..who was mature in Christ.


God bless you guys

[Canuckster1127]

CeT-To

I'm sorry to be slow answering this. Just to add to what some here are saying, let me tell you that I was in many ways exactly where you are when I was your age. Many of the circumstances were different, but I understand very well the sense of shame and inadequacy you mention as well as the desire for church to be more than a ritual and for relationships to be deeper with maybe a mentor who would personally take an interest in and guide me.

Many years later now I can tell you a few things that I think I know better. I may even have been able to say some of these things back then but know they've gone deeper than just "words" and are part of how I see God and live life.

God doesn't want us to live in shame. There's a difference between what it is to feel guilty and what it is to feel shame. Guilt is an appropriate response to something, when we are in fact guilty. When we've failed in some manner by doing what we ought not or failed to do what we should. Guilt is an emotion I believe God has built into us by way of our conscience. It's there to guide us and when we are really guilty of something, we can then take care of it and if we live in a manner where we keep short accounts with God and with people, guilt should be no more an emotion for us as any other. We're not to wallow in it or live in it in a constant state. That's like being angry all the time or happy all the time. Our system just isn't built that way. There's such a thing too as false guilt where we imagine or believe that we're guilty of something that's really not the way things are, but because we believe we're guilty of something, we live and feel all the time like we are.

Shame is something else. Shame is rooted in who we are, not what we do. When we look at ourselves we see imperfection and flaws. Biblically shame is illustrated very well in the garden, when Adam and Eve sinned and realized that they were naked and that something had come between them and God, so they hid. Shame is still about that. We look at ourselves and we hide from God and from others.

Here's the thing. When we've accepted Christ as Saviour everything we have to be ashamed about has been taken care of by God and we no longer have to live that way. It doesn't mean we go to the opposite extreme and become proud and obnoxious. It means however that at our core, we come to realize that God loves us and we no longer have to hide from Him or from brothers and sisters in Christ. Positionally this is true the moment we accept Christ. In Practice it can be a lifetime coming to realize this and live like this.

A couple of books that have helped me that I'd recommend to you. The Shack by William P. Young does an excellent job of illustrating this in a story that is like a parable of sorts. Another book that really illustrates this well that is more in the line of teaching is, He Loves Me by Wayne Jacobsen.

In terms of finding a mentor, I'm a big believer that praying for right things allows God to open our eyes to see things around us that He's already provided. I don't know what that will mean for you. It may be in the context of your church or it may be that there is someone else able to begin to build a relationship with you that you right now may not realize can be that person. God I think, wants to see those types of desires met in our life. I have no idea how He might do it.

Anyway, hang in there and thanks for being honest and transparent here. Most Christians feel this way many times in their lives and you're very normal in that regard.

Live loved.

bart

[CeT-To]

thanx guys for the help bah dw if its late! help is help anyway i had another breakdown last night but i feel better now since my gf now is 10x more open than before and she talks about these problems with me and tries to understand me. Although i still have the same problems i want to thank you guys soo much for helping me and i pray to God almost every day to guide my family, my friends, my gf and I closer to him ( and you guys too ^_^). Oh Bart thanx so much for you're encouraging words im glad that it is normal that i go through this and that the Lord is with me. B.W. thank you so much for showing me that i am so welcome and cared for here, also i wouldnt mind changing church but my dad is one of those people who think the catholic church is the true church and the only way... so... yeah i dont know how to go about that ...

Dw Bculpepper 18 ill check those links out soon thank you for your support.

God Bless you all

[CeT-To]

hey guys, i had a debate with an atheist recently and well ...seems like i lost... and now my faith has been shaken a bit i had built an hypothesis such as this:

1. God can only speak truth
2. For God to lie would mean He denies himself which in turn He would lose the status of God thus God cannot lie.
3. For the concept of lying to exist Truth must first exist and it cannot be the other way.
4.But God is truth
5.Thus God exists

And well haha it didnt end too well he showed me that it was circular and it did have loop holes but i guess i actually wanted to test it to see if it did so could refine.... i guess im not skilled enough.

Then it went on to Darwinism ( go figure) and well his knowledge was just much greater than mine so my argument became even smaller etc

And now i dont feel too well.... i seem to be thinking if by any chance i'm wrong about God...

[narnia4]

I wouldn't feel bad just because an argument didn't work, it happens lots of times to atheists and theists. Professional apologists have certainly tested ideas like this as well without it coming out right, that really does nothing to prove or disprove God.

As far as Darwinism, I hardly ever talk about it when talking to atheists because they have it ingrained into their skulls that anyone who doesn't believe in Darwinism isn't even worth thinking to. Of course many feel that theists aren't worth listening to either, but I feel like you have to pick your battles and with Darwinism being less important than some of the other big questions. I'm also not as knowledgeable about it as I am about some other philosophical arguments and arguments for God, so I don't want to do creationism a disservice by misrepresenting it somehow.

So I wouldn't feel bad about losing a debate.

[CeT-To]

thanx Narnia i'll try to cheer up.