Concerns about the marriage and dating scene

[cubeus19]

Hello, for quite some time I've been holding back on the dating scene. I'm currently in my early twenties, and right now I would really want to have a intimate relationship with someone. Personally, I want to find the right woman, I want to have a wife and a family. But currently I'm waiting for most of the women in my age group or my generation to grow up and mature. Currently, the dating/love/relationship scene in my generation is so sickening and distorted that I don't think I'll be able to successfully hold down a relationship with a woman until much later at the very least and never at the most. The problem I'm seeing with most women my age and younger is that they are so away from Christian principles (even the ones who claim to be Christian) and are so far away from common sense that I couldn't get along with them and they couldn't get along with me. For one, I feel like that today's women are way too high maintance and way too materialistic. All they seem to want is money from a guy. They will not date or even look twice at another guy unless they make six figures or more a year. Another thing is, most of today's women like rude evil jerks. The ruder, meaner and more ruthless the better. The want the guy who is in and out of jail, who gets kicked out of bars, and who has tons of tattoos and piercings. That's why in my area, all the top women get with the local drug dealers, especially the meth dealers, because meth is so "in" right now. Can these women somehow possibly be converted out of this mind set and realize that kinder, Godly mean make better mates and better husbands? Also, can they understand that we are in a economic recession and they can't have every little trinket their heart desires? And not to mention the double standards, they don't want you to be shallow, selfish, and materialistic but yet they are. How did women get from being kind loving godly helpers and home makers to the evil narcissist money worshiping thieves they are today? Does any of it have to do with feminism or liberalism or dare I say communism? And is there any hope or way some of these women can change? If so how can we bring about those changes on both a local and national level? Hopefully I haven't looked far enough, I just hope that the entire dating scene isn't like what I'm describing, if there are some glimpses of hope please let me know where they are and how I can get involved, if not, I may just give up on having a complex loving relationship with another human being, I'll just rely on God to fill that void, and if it's not in His will to do so, I'll have no choice but to get a pet. I'm very lonely and the need for a spouse just eats away at me quite a bit, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and that I'll find something that will fill that void. Thanks and God bless you guys.

[BavarianWheels]

First of all, you sound too desperate. If your ONLY concern is to find and marry someone and that is the first thing out of your mouth, then you are going to scare a bunch of ladies off. Even the good ones want to get to know you first. Your words of your Christian ethics and morals are best seen rather than heard. Loosen up, date here and there. Dates don't have to be or get intimate. Just have a good time and be yourself. If "yourself" is uptight and worried, then you're not much of an attraction to the opposite sex. The important thing is to pray that God guide you to your mate. Will it be the first girl that you next contact? Probably not.

IMHO.
.
.

[zoegirl]

Take it from someone who has had to endure at least 15 more years of that loneliness....you must be willing to be patient and allow God's timing to be His timing. Find a good Christian singles group in a church (or meet-up.com, which has some good contacts). Enjoy good fellowship with other Christians and let yourself simply be with other Christians doing good things. you have a good heart and an earnest desire (and one which is certainly Biblical) but as with anything that we have to wait for, we must allow for God's timing. It's not fun, but...

[zoegirl]

In retrospect, my above post seems unnecessarily unsympathetic. Believe me, if anyone can sympathize with you, it's me. I can't really offer any other solace than Jesus. Take comfort from Him, even in your loneliness. It's brutal and I understand the desire. I don't understand why He has chosen for me this path. I go to church events, have joined many singles groups, have joined so far two online dating sites (seemingly reputable ones, although I have been terribly disappointed with the Christian one with regards to the number of spammers and cons, and all I can offer is empathy....it stinks...