Please pray for my son.

[andy08330]

Robyn.... My heart truly goes out to you. I clearly do understand and can relate. I do not have to imagine your pain.

Before I begin, I want you to know my journey, at least on the surface did not end well. It in no way means yours will end the same as mine. Please know that before you continue reading. My Son's path was much like your Son's. However, at a low moment, he was presented with the opportunity to try heroin. He was kicked out of his mothers house (divorced me in 2005) for not cleaning his room. She had no clue of any drug use. I took my Son, Pete in with me and soon discovered the evidence of heroin use. Neither in a practical or spiritual way was I prepared to handle the situation.

I spent much time in passionate prayer for him, walked through nine rehabs and many hospital visits only to have him pass on from an accidental overdose 11-months ago. Pete somewhat, wanted to kick the addiction but, the disease was too strong. It was not a simple as a "do over" to go back in time to change the decision to try heroin.

Through the three years Pete lived with me and we dealt with the addiction, God grew my faith and my dependence upon him. God taught me to go much deeper in listening to his Holy Spirit for divine information, timing and just showing up at the right time. Always knew God had plans for Pete. Through my growing relationship with God and with Pete, Pete gave his life to God and immediately started bearing true fruit. He gave back into the drug and died two weeks later. And in this case (not saying in anyway this applies to you) God rescued Pete from himself and took him home. God even showed me a vision of him in Heaven.

I say all the above to simply say, I truly do understand and will pray for you !

A couple of things I sense God asking me to share with you is....
1) Ask God to fill you with his Holy Spirit. Not talking about speaking in tongues or other gifts, but in order that you would exhibit the fruits of the Spirit because you are filled with the spirit. Your Son will start to find this a very attractive part of you and he will find himself drawn to you. As much as you think he rejects you, he still very much needs his mother. He will try, but never be able to escape that. A mother that exhibits true fruit from the Holy Spirit will attract him.
2) You never did anything wrong. It is obvious that you love him and always have. An act of love is to ask God to increase your faith in Him and to simply wrap his arms around you in the middle of the night when you are crying out for your son's salvation.
3) Children, yes he still is and likely by choice, will respond when they sense you pulling away. However, you are not pulling away, but simply not enabling his behavior. You will totally puzzle him when you do not criticize his lifestyle, but instead simply love him.
4) You cannot change him. Period. Only God can do that as long as your son is willing.

Lastly, you did not create this situation, you did not cause it and you cannot change it. However, you can change you by pressing into God. He will certainly answer.

Remember, I said my situation did not end well ? I was short sighted. Don't we all want our children to be in Heaven ? Well mine is ! Still hurts and that is the reason my heart bleeds for you and your son. I will pray.

[cslewislover]

Andy, I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad God called him before he left this world. I told my son about this, warning him about not trying things like that when feeling down. Bad feelings pass, even though they can feel so overwhelming at the time. Anyway, glad to see you posting, and praying.

[robyn hill]

Andy,
I just checked in and it has been a while. I am so sorry for your loss. It is my darkest nightmare and I just don't know if I could make it. Your faith is so reassuring, I just have huge doubts I could remain as strong. I can't thank you enough for your encouragement and have already taken your advice and prayed to be filled with the holy spirit. So a latest update, and thanks my friends on here for asking. Well, Austyn is back home but still using on a daily basis. I can tell by looking at his eyes and he doesn't deny it. I was hoping that he would improve since it is his senior year, but to no avail. He was suspended today for throwing a lunch tray at the man in charge in the cafeteria. I talked to him about it and i was pretty angry. I basically told him he would be 18 in less than a year and that I have taught him all I know to help him to have a successful life. I told him I was afraid he might just have to learn things the hard way. I have stepped back quite a bit because it seemed to lead nowhere over the past 4 years. He says he wants to finish high school and I said he needed to quit with the pot. He is still so assured that pot is not a bad thing and hangs around with kids who also have that mindset of the "pot is good" subculture. I just can't seem to convince him otherwise. Of course I continue to pray for him daily. I just don't know where to go with him anymore and so much of it makes me angry. I have just stepped back. My biggest fear in the world is losing him. I don't know what I would do, I don't have any family except for my son. Thank you all for your continued prayers. I really can't tell you all enough how much it means to me and will continue to update you.

[DannyM]

Robyn,

I'm sorry about this situation. Unfortunately you need to ride it out. 999 times out of 1000 a user will quit and see sense when he is finally ready to. It takes an epiphanic, profound moment to realise that you are pumpinng c**p into yuor body. I hold hope for you if you have an intelligent son who is willing to look at the evidence and actually let it register. Beware the pit bull in a china shop approach. I am praying for you on this. But please don't despair, because the chances are very good that your son will one day - let's hope sooner rather than later - see sense.

I'm a far distance from you, but would lke to help if we could somehow get the boy in a discussion with me.

[robyn hill]

Danny, love your encouragement. I believe my son will figure things our. I was not perfect either. I LOVE your insight and analogy to the pitbull in the China shop as that is exactly how I act sometimes and it helped me gain some perspective. Thanks as always Danny

[DannyM]

Danny, love your encouragement. I believe my son will figure things our. I was not perfect either. I LOVE your insight and analogy to the pitbull in the China shop as that is exactly how I act sometimes and it helped me gain some perspective. Thanks as always Danny

Robyn, I hope things are okay with you and your son. I hope things are getting a little easier for you.

Thinking of you and hope things are improving.

[CeT-To]

I'll be praying for you and your son Robyn >.< Have faith Sister! i know it has been said a lot but its something that gets me through hard times so i want you to remember that Jesus Christ is carrying you as we speak, he is always walking with you! He has a plan for us all so keep praying for your son to walk the path Christ set us and believe it will happen! I know you love your 17yr old so much and everyone can tell, so keep loving him as you are now! Be strong! We are praying for you <3

BTW i'm 17 too and one thing i have learn't from walking with Christ is that in most cases logical arguments to show the person where he is wrong wont open him up... it is Love that will. Only Love can soften hardened hearts. Have faith in Christ so they he can emit his Love through you.

God bless you and your son! I will be praying for you both!

[robyn hill]

CeT-To, Bless you for your wonderful encouraging words! Wow, you are very wise for your age...not surprised since you are a loyal christian and God has given you that. I agree that Christ provides logical reasons for us to show us what is wrong with our lives. My son has been returning to church occasionally and he even asked to go. The revelations from Pastor Bob Caldwell of Calvary here in Boise are so appropriate to what he is going through I secretly smirk to myself and think "this has got to be blowing his mind...and thank-you Lord, only you could be this truly revealing." My son doesn't say much afterwards, but I can tell he is quite amazed. I have so much hope...thanks again CeT-To, your generation is so fortunate to have you and keep it up, you will be needed by many!! (no pressure.)

[ChrisB]

CeT-To, Bless you for your wonderful encouraging words! Wow, you are very wise for your age...not surprised since you are a loyal christian and God has given you that. I agree that Christ provides logical reasons for us to show us what is wrong with our lives. My son has been returning to church occasionally and he even asked to go. The revelations from Pastor Bob Caldwell of Calvary here in Boise are so appropriate to what he is going through I secretly smirk to myself and think "this has got to be blowing his mind...and thank-you Lord, only you could be this truly revealing." My son doesn't say much afterwards, but I can tell he is quite amazed. I have so much hope...thanks again CeT-To, your generation is so fortunate to have you and keep it up, you will be needed by many!! (no pressure.)

Awesome Robyn!! I'm glad to hear that God is slowly getting through to him. I'll keep praying until it's done.

[CeT-To]

CeT-To, Bless you for your wonderful encouraging words! Wow, you are very wise for your age...not surprised since you are a loyal christian and God has given you that. I agree that Christ provides logical reasons for us to show us what is wrong with our lives. My son has been returning to church occasionally and he even asked to go. The revelations from Pastor Bob Caldwell of Calvary here in Boise are so appropriate to what he is going through I secretly smirk to myself and think "this has got to be blowing his mind...and thank-you Lord, only you could be this truly revealing." My son doesn't say much afterwards, but I can tell he is quite amazed. I have so much hope...thanks again CeT-To, your generation is so fortunate to have you and keep it up, you will be needed by many!! (no pressure.)

Hey Robyn! Thank you so much for the blessing hehehehe im very happy that you are excited every time you take your son to church, it seems so wonderful!! ....ahhh im not so wise ..haha i have my own sins that i still need to let go and i've realised that i need to stop moving when God is trying to circumcise my heart... yes it hurts but it is something that must be done if i truly have faith in Christ and if i want to have a deep relationship with the Lord, so please don't think so highly me, i'm just like any other teenage boy in the state of sin. I just hope that i can do His will and let Him emit love through me to those who do not understand Jesus Christ.

I will keep praying for you and your son, Robyn! Remember have faith in the Lord and that people come to Christ with sin, Not people try not to sin then come to Christ.

God bless you and your son!

[ChrisB]

Still praying for Austin.

God Bless, Robyn.

[cypher]

Let him come back to you. You don't have to scold him for using marijuana or alcohol. (here in canada it is not even criminal to possess a small portion of marijuana, and a little alcohol wont hurt him unless it is all the time). He might come back if you let him do those things, under your supervision. He needs your guidance and support. I know from experience that marijuana/alcohol will not hurt him unless he does harsh drugs. I have done both on occasion and I still consider myself a successful, caring person.
Best wishes and my prayers for you.