What what you said here, and also Nessa followed up with...melanie wrote:Indeed K.
Love manifests itself in differing ways.
Like with your example.
I have small children and older children.
With my youngsters I can dictate and apply 'sunscreen' as I wish.
Teenagers are different. Force becomes anti productive.
The lesson is being burnt.
That's life.
Despite our best intentions,
Sometimes they just have to work it out for themselves.
It may take one time for some kids, other kids they take being burnt multiple times before any message sinks in. It may take third degree burns, or a trip to the hospital.
It may take several third degree burns for some.
It may take scars.
The one thing I see is love manifested in different ways, perhaps more in accord with where each sees the importance. And in accord with our comfort levels, such that we don't feel awkward.
Take your sunscreen example. My Mum was the same. As a Dad now, and my wife, it's like "kids get your butts here or I'll give you a kick up your bum." Noone is going swimming, or the like, unless they have sunscreen on.
Your way of loving is to let them live and learn, our approach is different.
Take Nessa's example. Although she is always negative negative on herself, she was actually be quite loving just being with her friend. Maybe she felt a bit hypocritical because she new the truth of the matter, but sometimes you just need to be with a person. You know, stating the obvious isn't going to help matters, and as someone else had offered to help sometimes a person doesn't want help/can't be helped and so the best thing is to just be still with them. Nessa and the friend wanting to help clean were loving in their own ways. Both were perceived differently by the one receiving/not receiving love.
For me, ask anyone who knows me, truth is central. You don't have truth, then you have bs you'll sink into.
That said, I do actually have a sensitive bone, probably more than comes out here in discussions. You might think I'd criticise someone for their sins and the like, be quite forceful with my views on others. That's kind of silly though. Here where debating ones views is all the rage, is very different from out there.
Going back to uni days a very long time ago, in the project team there was a guy I had great respect for. Emotionally intuitive and perceptive and made a good project leader. Ironically, for someone meant to be the insensitive Christian with a hang up, it seemed one of my non-Christian friends was more hung up on his homosexuality than I was. Whispering to me, "did you know he's gay? You're Christian, what do you think of that?" I just said aloud, if he's gay what am I suppose to think? (I don't recall the exact discussion, but something like that). Then he looked at me eyes wide opened because he was right next to us, and was like "shhhh, he'll hear." Then I said, "why, it's true...?" in puzzled expression. In any case, I had great respect for the guy, and while I was aware, I probably liked him more than most other people I knew. He carried himself very well. He had very strong opinions, very compassionate and respectful. I'm quite confident we could have had a real discussion on such, and we would have walked away still friends with great respect for each other.
My cousin who lives in another state, came to my sisters wedding with her Dad (my uncle) and family. She brought her girlfriend with her. When greeting and the like, she accentuated the point that "this is my girlfriend" but then looking for like some kind of reaction. You know, growing up, our family on Mum's side was considered "Christian" and so a point of prodding here and there, snarky comments and the like. Especially with my uncles wife who was very anti-Christian, into Paganism and the like (not really understanding that Christianity is like a fulfillment of paganism as Chesterson would say
) My brother told me she did the same thing to him, "like I give a s#!t,' he said (he's not so Christian 
). I quite like talking to my cousin, but she sees a chasm between us because of whatever has been said. Sometimes you know, like in Nessa's example, people perceive those trying to help as evil meanies. But then, Nessa's kind of love can get through. You know, if I am telling the truth on a board such as this, then a gay person is just going to see red with a lot of the stuff I've said. Actually, on Facebook, I had exchanges with my cousin and one of her evidently gay friends really tried taking slices of skin off me. Saying there was a high suicide rate amongst gay people in Australia. When I looked at actual figures, you know what I found? While depression might be higher, suicide rates weren't actually that high at all. Rather, it seems in Australia that we had an abnormally high ratio of suicides amongst our indigenous population. Oh, strips were torn off me for pointing out these stats.
And then attack, attack, attack Christianity this and that. Well, I ended up sharing a gay Christian website which I would not endorse for anyone other than someone who seriously believes God made them gay and there's nothing wrong. Because I'd much prefer a person comes to Christ as they are, rather than feel scared thinking they're not the kind of person Christ would want. Once there with Christ, then it's up to the Holy Spirit to convict and work some "magic" in a person's life to transform them more and more like Christ.
You know, having people love in different ways, is really the best approach. Means Christians have greater reach. And I guess it shows we're just human too with our own personalities and unique perspectives too. The absolutely one thing I would not tolerate though, is your Westboro psuedo-Christians who hold up signs saying, "God hates [homosexuals]" and tells such how much they deserve hell and the like. Anyone who is "Christian" like this, is not loving or following after Christ. I wonder if Christ will actually say to such Westboro types in the end, "Depart from me, for I never knew you."
