Re: The Priest and the Atheist
Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 1:08 am
BTW Deborah is me. I changed emails when I started University studies.
I didn't think I would still be a member lol
I didn't think I would still be a member lol
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." (Psalm 19:1)
https://discussions.godandscience.org/
Quite possibly. But a bee is unable to survive without its hive. More to the point, the queen which is the only member of the hive which can breed, is totally dependent on the hive. A hive only survives thru the "altruism" of ts members.zoegirl wrote:Wayne, you are continuiing to miss my point. If altruism ceased to be an advantage to bees, then it would stop. Those are the rules. Altruism is built in only so long as those traits remain advantageous.waynepii wrote:Then how do bees manage to keep the hive running, food being brought in, the queen tended to, etc? Social animals generally have built-in behaviors that set "rules" for interpersonal relations. Science says these behaviors evolved to benefit the social group, you probably say they were designed in. Either way, it's built-in and except for the psychopaths among us needs only a little training during early childhood to reinforce and fine-tune. It doesn't require formal religion to operate.
Genes and upbringingIn the model of of human evolution, altruism served and currently continues to serve as an advantage. But there is inherently NO VALUE to the altruism in and of themselves, only so far as to increase fitness or decrease fitness. YOu can have no say over the ugliness of rape if suddenly rape provides an advantage. Now while viewing rape as ugly DOES currently provide an advantage, this does not make the alternative view of rape being morally right inherently wrong. It is neutral in its inherent rightness or wrongness. We are under the whims of our genes and if the genes that are selected lead to "ugliness" and evil being more advantageous, then they will increase in the population.
Would I like having my property stolen? My home burned? My wife and daughter raped (or myself, were I female)? My family killed? Myself and/or my family enslaved? .... Let's see, these are tough questions, well I'll guess I'll pass on 'em all, thanks. Ergo, I wouldn't do any of them to anyone else, and would (and have actually - civil rights protests in the '60s) actively act to prevent them from happening to others.Wayne, this argument does not address the point over the worldview. Mankind has done tremendous atrocites. Of course those atrocities existed. This does not invalidate the point I am making. Mankind is depraved; we are capable of great evils, both in the name of religion and without. I can look back at those and explain them according to my worldview and understand the reason and source of the evil involved. What moral imperative allows you to declare those activites wrong?wayne wrote: I won't go into the brutality, rape, and murder in the name of God (Crusades, Spanish conquest of South America, Inquisition, ... ).
If society decided that atheism (for example) was the source of all evil and that atheists were to be "saved" under penalty of death, do you really think the Bible couldn't be interpreted to justify doing so? The Bible has been used in the past for these purposes, and will undoubtedly be so used in the future - so what's the difference? MAN's altruism or lack thereof ultimately sets the rules. The people who were behind the 9/11 tragedies justified it in the name of religion, and those who flew the planes did so because "God commanded it". The fact that the people behind 9/11 were pursuing their own personal objectives doesn't change the fact that they used religion to help achieve them.Atheism has no moral imperative other than the current social decisions. The fact that you find rape morally disgusting is simply up to the whims of the genes of the population invovled. You say that other than the occasional psychopath, everybody tends to agree. But that is simply according to what genes provide the current selective advantage. Morality, according to atheism, is just the result of selective advantage. And so what does define beauty? Or makes one persons morality inherently more right than anothers? What right have you to call that person a psychopath? you just happen to be on the side that your genes match the selective advantage. Woe to the psychopath, then!! Just like the white pepper moth, they suffer under the selective pressures of the rest of society. Woe to you and to all of our daughters and sisters if the psychopaths eventually prove to have the selective advantage. Perhaps under another catastrophe, say a weird emerging disease, the psychopaths survive more than the rest of us. While their morality may be horrifying, hey, it's simply the eovlutionary solution.
Okay, so whether or not you "like" something now determines ethics? We are right back to the problem at hand....the thief likes the property of others, the rapist likes the power, the murderer likes the kill, the liar likes the lie....etc. Sure the thief doesn't like it when his stuff gets stolen, but as long as he can guard his supplies well with weapons, everything is ok.wayne wrote:Would I like having my property stolen? My home burned? My wife and daughter raped (or myself, were I female)? My family killed? Myself and/or my family enslaved? .... Let's see, these are tough questions, well I'll guess I'll pass on 'em all, thanks. Ergo, I wouldn't do any of them to anyone else, and would (and have actually - civil rights protests in the '60s) actively act to prevent them from happening to others.
Does this sound as if "none of [you] believe atheists don't have moral compasses"?Jac3510 wrote:Wayne, I've already pointed out to you the fact that none of us believe that atheists don't have moral compasses. Why you insist on continuing to erect that straw man is beyond me.
zoegirl wrote:His point, although Jac please correct me if I am wron, is that an atheist has no grounds for beliaving one thing beautifuland one thing atrocious.
Where is the root of beauty and ugliness in a atheist worldview??!?!!? If humans are just animals, and animals occasionally mutilate the offspring of another population member's young, then why the outrage?!?!?
LIons who take ovr a pride will often kill cubs from the previous male. Even wild horses ocassionally do this. If we are just animals, then a stepdad who abuses his children can be justified in preferring his own children to thoe of the joined marriage. Why not? We are just animals in the athiest workdview. The stepdad,after all, is protecting his genes from the competitors.
According to naturilstic anthropological models, humans raped during the process of our evolution. So how can we now proclaim rape and murder as *ugly*? Or too elaborate further, the only reason that we now consider rape to be ugly is that it is the *current* evol;utionary solution. That's it. So if, in 100 years, 1000 years, or however many years, if those peole with those genes are more successful, then we ould have a human population with rapists and murderers as being the norm.
Now, I'm sure most atheists DON"T view rape as beautiful....but the point should ultimately be,....WHY don't they and do they, in their worldview, have ANY justifucation in holding to that view. Or holding it against any body ese who DOES find rape enjoyable?!?!
I'm sure your husband/wife doesn't hold that rape is beautiful, but that does not negae the contradiction in his/her views. And although it is nice that you are broad -thinking in your marriage, I hope that you challenge him/her in his thinking.
If an atheist holds that our bliefs and our morality is in our genes, then who are we t judge their genes holding tht rape is enjoyable?!?!
Do YOU have an "objective reference"? For instance, why do you know homosexuality is evil (or wrong, or sinful, if you prefer)?Jac3510 wrote:The point is simply that atheists have no objective grounds on which to base their moral compass. WHY do they think rape is bad? Because it hurts a person? But why is that bad? Because you ought not hurt people? But why not? Why, why, why? In the end, the atheist recognizes that he or she values human life, but has no reason to value it over anything else. They just do as a matter of preference.
Very admirable. So Christians never serve in the army, or only serve in non-combatant roles?Jac3510 wrote:Now, that doesn't make their preference wrong. In fact, they are right in valuing human life. But, again, they have no REASON to value it. They may as well say, "I like chocolate ice cream. I hate vanilla." Fine. That's their preference. My question is this: since when should we base our behavior on someone else's preferences?
Christians value human life because humans are made in the image of God, and thus, are intrinsically valuable. If someone does something wrong, we can call them on it--including fellow Christians.
Preference has nothing to do with it. If I see someone leave something valuable behind, my preference might be to pick it up and keep it. My moral compass reminds me it isn't mine, and I call their attention to their item. My compass being the Golden Rule.Jac3510 wrote:The point I made in that story is just what Zoe pointed out. In a world with no God to set values, value becomes 100% a matter of personal preference. That includes everything from beauty to morality. Thus, an atheist has no grounds on which to criticize a person who finds rape beautiful and marriage putrid. What is he to say? "I don't like that!" So what? Such things are meaningless.
I say again, an atheist tells right from wrong by considering the situation with the roles reversed.Jac3510 wrote:Bottom line, Wayne:
No one is saying atheists cannot be moral and cannot recognize beauty. We are saying that have no BASIS for their morality (which they correctly hold to) or their recognition of beauty (which they properly do). Such things, by their worldview, can be nothing more than personal preference, on the level of chocolate vs. vanilla ice cream.
Could you clarify what you are asking here. I'd rather not assume.Does this sound as if "none of [you] believe atheists don't have moral compasses"?
The same way I know that I weigh 160 lbs. The same way I know that George Washington was the first US President. The same way I know that 2+2=4. In short, morality is part of the fabric of reality itself. It can't be denied any more than anything else in the objective world.Do YOU have an "objective reference"? For instance, why do you know homosexuality is evil (or wrong, or sinful, if you prefer)?
And why would valuing human life require a person not to serve as a combatant for their country?Very admirable. So Christians never serve in the army, or only serve in non-combatant roles?
If there is no God, preference has everything to do with it. You PREFER to live by the Golden Rule. What if someone else has a different compass? If there is no God, to tell them they have the wrong compass is tantamount to telling them that they are wrong in their preference of ice cream.Preference has nothing to do with it. If I see someone leave something valuable behind, my preference might be to pick it up and keep it. My moral compass reminds me it isn't mine, and I call their attention to their item. My compass being the Golden Rule
That's right. YOU say. And why should your words be binding? What if I show you someone who doesn't think that is how you tell right from wrong? Why should they take your personal standard over theirs?I say again, an atheist tells right from wrong by considering the situation with the roles reversed.
You know you weigh 160lbs because something or someone told you so.Jac3510 wrote:Could you clarify what you are asking here. I'd rather not assume.Does this sound as if "none of [you] believe atheists don't have moral compasses"?
The same way I know that I weigh 160 lbs. The same way I know that George Washington was the first US President. The same way I know that 2+2=4. In short, morality is part of the fabric of reality itself. It can't be denied any more than anything else in the objective world.Do YOU have an "objective reference"? For instance, why do you know homosexuality is evil (or wrong, or sinful, if you prefer)?
It's far from a preference. Most of the important things are enacted as laws.Now, that doesn't mean I might not be CORRECT in my assessment of a particular moral situation, just like I could be incorrect about my weight, the identity of the first US President, or any given math problem. Those things are subject to debate, but they can only be debated because there is a CORRECT answer that is part of reality itself. On the other hand, I can't debate whether vanilla or chocolate ice cream is better. There is no correct answer because that is not an objective question. It is only a matter of personal preference.
Because they might kill someone, or aid someone else in doing so. Or are the enemy "less valued"?And why would valuing human life require a person not to serve as a combatant for their country?Very admirable. So Christians never serve in the army, or only serve in non-combatant roles?
Do ALL Gods have the same compass?If there is no God, preference has everything to do with it. You PREFER to live by the Golden Rule. What if someone else has a different compass? If there is no God, to tell them they have the wrong compass is tantamount to telling them that they are wrong in their preference of ice cream.Preference has nothing to do with it. If I see someone leave something valuable behind, my preference might be to pick it up and keep it. My moral compass reminds me it isn't mine, and I call their attention to their item. My compass being the Golden Rule
What if I showed you a religion with different values than Christianity?That's right. YOU say. And why should your words be binding? What if I show you someone who doesn't think that is how you tell right from wrong? Why should they take your personal standard over theirs?I say again, an atheist tells right from wrong by considering the situation with the roles reversed.
A scale told me I was 160 lbs. History books told me GW was the first Prez. Math and logic told me 2+2=4.You know you weigh 160lbs because something or someone told you so.
You know GW was the first president because something or someone told you so.
You know 2+2=4 because something or someone told you so, or possibly by experiment.
So who or what told you about same-sex marriage?
Ah. So morality only counts if it is a law? So, since right now, same-sex marriage is illegal, we can consider it evil. And since at one time, slavery was considered legal in America, we could consider it good and wholesome, yes?It's far from a preference. Most of the important things are enacted as laws.
How does something having value forbid ever killing or destroying it?Because they might kill someone, or aid someone else in doing so. Or are the enemy "less valued"?
I don't understand your question--there is only one God. In any case, I'm not arguing about WHAT is right and wrong. That can only be debated if there really is such a thing. Perhaps I am wrong in my assessment of right and wrong. Perhaps it is actually right to lie, regardless of what I have been taught. But that could only be the case if God existed in such a way as to prefer lies to truth.Do ALL Gods have the same compass?
Then I'd show you two more than differ from Christianity AND the one you showed me. Then, I would ask you, "Are any of these more or less right than any other?"What if I showed you a religion with different values than Christianity?
First off, I don't determine what God wants us to do any more than I determine the identity of the first president, the answer to a math problem, or my weight. I discover those things. The American people of that generation determined the first president, my genetic makeup and eating habits determined my weight, and reality itself determined the answer to any given math question. To determine is to cause--it is an ontological word. To discover is to find out a cause--it is epistemological.I don't mean to argue comparative religions or to debate same-sex marriage. I am trying to determine how you determine what God really wants us to do. Is there a concrete, absolute reference?
A scale makes a measurement using an established standard (pounds or kilograms) as an indirect reference.Jac3510 wrote:A scale told me I was 160 lbs. History books told me GW was the first Prez. Math and logic told me 2+2=4.You know you weigh 160lbs because something or someone told you so.
You know GW was the first president because something or someone told you so.
You know 2+2=4 because something or someone told you so, or possibly by experiment.
So who or what told you about same-sex marriage?
Before I answer your question about same-sex marrige, let me ask you: where did the scale, the history book, and math and logic get their information? From themselves, or somewhere else?
That's definitive.I got my view on same-sex marriage from the same place they got their info.
That's not what I meant, and I'm sure you know it. But when slavery was legal, most religions supported it, or at least did nothing to end it. Some clergy worked for abolition, mainly in the north, and only fairly late (1850s and 1860s).Ah. So morality only counts if it is a law? So, since right now, same-sex marriage is illegal, we can consider it evil. And since at one time, slavery was considered legal in America, we could consider it good and wholesome, yes?It's far from a preference. Most of the important things are enacted as laws.
We're not talking about "things", we're talking about people.How does something having value forbid ever killing or destroying it?Because they might kill someone, or aid someone else in doing so. Or are the enemy "less valued"?
Haven't there been a fairly long list of gods over the years? Many of whom demanded human sacrifice for instance. Do you think those who worshiped these gods believed any less fervently than modern day born again Christians?I don't understand your question--there is only one God. In any case, I'm not arguing about WHAT is right and wrong. That can only be debated if there really is such a thing. Perhaps I am wrong in my assessment of right and wrong. Perhaps it is actually right to lie, regardless of what I have been taught. But that could only be the case if God existed in such a way as to prefer lies to truth.Do ALL Gods have the same compass?
AgreedI am not arguing WHAT is right and wrong. We can debate that for the same reason we can debate my weight. Let's go back to the scale example. If I stand on a scale and it says I weigh 160, and I insist I only weigh 150, what will you say? You will tell me that I am wrong (on the assumption that the scale is properly calibrated). Why can you say that? Because my weight is not a matter of personal preference. It is a matter of objective reality. On the other hand, suppose I tell you that I prefer chocolate ice cream. Could you then say I was wrong? No, because that is a matter of PREFERENCE.
Are you sure you don't just prefer not to be around homosexuals?What we see, then, is that there can be no right and wrong with reference to preference. Preferences simply are. They are not correct or incorrect. In order for us to have a discussion on whether or not same-sex marriage is right or wrong, it MUST be a matter of reality itself and not a matter of personal preference. My point, then, is that morality IS a right/wrong issue, NOT an I prefer/don't prefer issue. Perhaps I am WRONG on same-sex marriage. Perhaps I am wrong on a lot of things. My compass might be off. But a bad compass doesn't mean there is no North.
That's simply not true. Of course an atheist knows right from wrong.Then I'd show you two more than differ from Christianity AND the one you showed me. Then, I would ask you, "Are any of these more or less right than any other?"What if I showed you a religion with different values than Christianity?
If they are more or less right, then morality is objective. That is a statement that no atheist can make, and thus, atheism stands refuted. If atheism is true, then there is NO SUCH THING as right and wrong, regardless of what you may PREFER, because that is all "morality" would be reduced to: preference.
My bad. Make that question "I''m trying to understand how you (non-specific "you", not necessarily you personally) come to discern God's will or intent on a given subject?"First off, I don't determine what God wants us to do any more than I determine the identity of the first president, the answer to a math problem, or my weight. I discover those things. The American people of that generation determined the first president, my genetic makeup and eating habits determined my weight, and reality itself determined the answer to any given math question. To determine is to cause--it is an ontological word. To discover is to find out a cause--it is epistemological.I don't mean to argue comparative religions or to debate same-sex marriage. I am trying to determine how you determine what God really wants us to do. Is there a concrete, absolute reference?
How is your reasoning more correct than an atheist (or anyone else, for that matter) using their moral compass? I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm trying to understand. I have been married to my wife (yes, a female) for more than 30 years, and have never had any interest in homosexuality. But I don't see why I should care who someone else chooses as a sex partner. I wouldn't appreciate someone telling me my wife was "inappropriate" for some reason, so I wouldn't make a similar judgment of others. If God really disapproves of homosexuality, I guess that is between God and the transgressors.With that out of the way, I discover what God wants me to do the same way as I discover anything else in life. I look at reality and use reason to find out how it works. We have found out how weight works, how math works, and how to track history. Likewise, we can find out how morality works. All by reason. And reason tells me that things like same-sex marriage and murder are wrong.
That's right. In all three cases, my knowledge comes from an instrument that measures reality. None of those instruments create the fact. They simply convey to me, and anyone else who cares to look, facts about the way reality is. None of them are a matter of preference. The same is true with morality. If it is an objective part of reality, which is all I've ever argued, then there is an instrument by which we perceive it. Would you care to take a guess what that instrument is?A scale makes a measurement using an established standard (pounds or kilograms) as an indirect reference.
A history book is based upon records and other documents written at the time.
A math book contains facts for which the proofs are incontrovertible.
That's definitive.
What does religion, or law for that matter, have anything do with reality? If people can be wrong about their view of morality, then what does appealing to their incorrect assessments of reality have anything to do with anything? Should I complain that math doesn't work because some people get their sums wrong?That's not what I meant, and I'm sure you know it. But when slavery was legal, most religions supported it, or at least did nothing to end it. Some clergy worked for abolition, mainly in the north, and only fairly late (1850s and 1860s).
Sure, and people, you seem to think, have value. But says who? You? So what? Do people still have value even if someone disagrees that they do? What about the unborn? Do they have value, because a lot of people say they don't.We're not talking about "things", we're talking about people.
No, and I'm not sure what people's belief systems have to do with anything. Again, just because people get something wrong doesn't mean that the thing they are wrong about doesn't exist. Again, I ask, just because someone gets their sums wrong, does that mean that math does not exist?Haven't there been a fairly long list of gods over the years? Many of whom demanded human sacrifice for instance. Do you think those who worshiped these gods believed any less fervently than modern day born again Christians?
Yes, I am quite sure, but thank you for asking.Are you sure you don't just prefer not to be around homosexuals?
I didn't say anything about what an atheist knows. For the love of God, how many times do I have to say this, Wayne? Here, I'll put it in NICE BIG WORDS--a trick I learned from an atheist who has now been banned--and hopefully we can settle this little disagreement once and for all:That's simply not true. Of course an atheist knows right from wrong.
The same way you do anything else. You have a pretty good start with the Golden Rule -- an appeal to reason. But notice that an atheist as well as a Christian have the same access to that rule. Again, I am not saying a person cannot be moral if they don't believe in God. Just the opposite, they can. I am saying there is no ontological basis for morality if God does not exist.My bad. Make that question "I''m trying to understand how you (non-specific "you", not necessarily you personally) come to discern God's will or intent on a given subject?"
Feel free to use loose language in regular conversation. But in these types of discussions, words have specific meanings, and those kinds of distinctions can become very important . . . like the difference in talking about the ontological vs. epistemological nature of morality, an issue you seem to be consistently confusing.BTW According to Merriam-Webster, my use of "determine" was correct, but I'll admit it could be misinterpreted and thus not the best way of stating my question. Sorry for the confusion. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/determine
Maybe I'm wrong about homosexuality. We can have that debate. My point is only this, Wayne: in order for me to be WRONG about homosexuality, then there has to be a since in which homosexuality is not WRONG. In other words, in order to even have this debate, we first must concede that the words "right" and "wrong" have meanings that go beyond personal preference. It has to mean that our views of morality can be incorrect, that is, they can not line up with reality itself just as my view of my weight, a math problem, or a historical fact can all be wrong.How is your reasoning more correct than an atheist (or anyone else, for that matter) using their moral compass? I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm trying to understand. I have been married to my wife (yes, a female) for more than 30 years, and have never had any interest in homosexuality. But I don't see why I should care who someone else chooses as a sex partner. I wouldn't appreciate someone telling me my wife was "inappropriate" for some reason, so I wouldn't make a similar judgment of others. If God really disapproves of homosexuality, I guess that is between God and the transgressors.
How fervent one believes is not evidence for the truth of the cause. No doubt people have died for causes that have nothing to do with matters of religion. How many people died for the cause of "taxation without representation?"Haven't there been a fairly long list of gods over the years? Many of whom demanded human sacrifice for instance. Do you think those who worshiped these gods believed any less fervently than modern day born again Christians?
Most of what I use came from a couple of different books which may seem unrelated, but I think give absolutely essential concepts.Jac,
What reading would you recommend to study some of the ideas you bring up here? Those are some fantastic arguments to demonstrate the basic fallacies of atheistic thinking.
Your weight is measured by a scale - its calibration and accuracy can be checked and calibrated using a second scale or special equipment and standard weights.Jac3510 wrote:That's right. In all three cases, my knowledge comes from an instrument that measures reality. None of those instruments create the fact. They simply convey to me, and anyone else who cares to look, facts about the way reality is. None of them are a matter of preference. The same is true with morality. If it is an objective part of reality, which is all I've ever argued, then there is an instrument by which we perceive it. Would you care to take a guess what that instrument is?A scale makes a measurement using an established standard (pounds or kilograms) as an indirect reference.
A history book is based upon records and other documents written at the time.
A math book contains facts for which the proofs are incontrovertible.
That's definitive.
So you agree with me that we really can't say whether homosexuality is right or wrong. Since we don't know for sure that it's "wrong" and it doesn't affect anybody other than the (assumedly consenting) participants, why the big furor about letting people of the same gender get married if they wish.Maybe I'm wrong about homosexuality. We can have that debate. My point is only this, Wayne: in order for me to be WRONG about homosexuality, then there has to be a since in which homosexuality is not WRONG. In other words, in order to even have this debate, we first must concede that the words "right" and "wrong" have meanings that go beyond personal preference. It has to mean that our views of morality can be incorrect, that is, they can not line up with reality itself just as my view of my weight, a math problem, or a historical fact can all be wrong.How is your reasoning more correct than an atheist (or anyone else, for that matter) using their moral compass? I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm trying to understand. I have been married to my wife (yes, a female) for more than 30 years, and have never had any interest in homosexuality. But I don't see why I should care who someone else chooses as a sex partner. I wouldn't appreciate someone telling me my wife was "inappropriate" for some reason, so I wouldn't make a similar judgment of others. If God really disapproves of homosexuality, I guess that is between God and the transgressors.
In still other words, in order to have the debate about whether or not I am wrong about homosexuality (or any other moral issue, for that matter), we first must assume that the issue has its own intrinsic moral value apart from what you and I believe about it. Thus, in order to have the debate, we must begin with the idea that morality is NOT a matter of opinion or personal belief, but a matter of reality itself.
We call that obective reality.
Now, since I believe morality is objective, we can have the epistemological discussion--that is, how you know. But if morality is NOT objective, then we can have no discussion on how I know it is wrong, because it isn't right OR wrong. If morality is not objective, then it has no ontological value. If morality is not objective, then it is nothing more than personal preference, and as I've shown, preference cannot be right or wrong. It just is.
But if you agree that morality is objective--that I can be right or wrong about a moral view I hold--then you must affirm that God exists and that atheism is false. You are not affirming in this that atheists cannot be moral (remember the waterfall analogy). The reason is that morality cannot be objective is God does not exist. There is no debate about that. It's just a fact.
Of course, if God does exist, it does not necessarily follow that morality is objective. God could well have not created that as a part of reality. But in order for morality to be objective, God MUST have put it into the fabric of reality. Put shortly, we can say this:
If God exists, morality may or may not be objective;
If God does not exist, morality cannot be objective;
Thus, if morality is not objective, God may or may not exist; and
If morality is objective, God must exist.
That's the ontological side of the debate, Wayne. Only when that is established can we move on to a discussion about whether or not any particular moral action really is right or wrong. To try to debate if something is right or wrong while denying that right and wrong exist is self-refuting.
Wayne... I wouldn't say that homosexuality isn't exactly harmless. It does affect others (and the two involved) as the statistics show...waynepii wrote:So you agree with me that we really can't say whether homosexuality is right or wrong. Since we don't know for sure that it's "wrong" and it doesn't affect anybody other than the (assumedly consenting) participants, why the big furor about letting people of the same gender get married if they wish.