I can sense a lot of that frustration on your posts and I am sorry that it is so for you.Oriental wrote:Bart,Canuckster1127 wrote: Oriental,
Thanks for being so transparent and honest. There are times when we have to persevere and hold onto it.
What do you think comes first for a Christian.
Peace and Joy or perfect obedience to His Word?
Bart
It is nice to hear your reply. I feel uneasy often; I find that a lot of people do not think the same way I do. It makes me like a weird guy and people find difficult to get along with me easily.
Last night I chat with my sister. We quarreled quite much. What caused it might sound strange to you all. It was the manner that I complained about she didn't live up to my expectation of her loving properly her younger brother and I complained of her self-centerness.
She replied that all members of family had trouble to talk to me because what I complained about made them inferior; I have spoken some words that come from scriptural wisdom which sounds novel to them all; in fact, I follow scriptural words as best as I can but I often find others never treat me the same way back. I am quite frustrated.
Yes it is peace and joy that our relationship with God can make me feel serene in morning prayers and church service; as long as I step out of the church, I find myself pretty weird guy among the world in which everybody seems to care about himself only and altruism is entirely something once in blue moon everywhere. The loneliness is dreadful.
Oriental.
I know too, that as a Canadian/American my culture and way of looking at some of this is quite different than what yours is and so I am thinking of that very carefully as I speak with you.
If I may be so bold, please allow me to give you some input that might be helpful, and if it is not, I will not be offended at all if you do not think it is good.
Jesus told us very clearly in his word that when we are His followers that we will be maligned and misunderstood and even persecuted; even by our own families. I do not know your family and what is at work. Usually when a family member makes such a decision and begins to live for Christ, they feel threatened by it and fearful. Some can become angry because the change in someone they know and love makes them aware of their own sinfulness and need for Christ. If you can remember, you likely wrestled with this a great deal before you were saved and accepted Christ as your Savior.
While all this is true, and we ought to recognize that even if we do everything "right" to reach and share the love of Christ with our family, it is not a guarantee to us that our family will accept Him.
Of course, we are still wrestling with our own sinful natures and we don't do everything right. I know the relationship is different, and I am not suggesting that it is the same, but I believe Scripture gives us some advice in this area in I Cor 7:12-17.
12But to the rest (K)I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are (L)holy.
15Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us (M)to peace.
16For how do you know, O wife, whether you will (N)save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
17Only, (O)as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk And (P)so I direct in (Q)all the churches.
Obviously this is about marriage. But I believe there are some principles that we can glean that apply.
1. You must follow Christ first and foremost and not allow the belief or unbelief of your family to affect your relationship with God.
2. You must accept that your following Christ may cost you your family, as painful as that might be.
3. As long as your family still accepts and loves you, even if they don't understand or accept your decision for Christ, then you should love them back, and use the opportunity to show them the love of Christ as much as you can and God enables you.
4. Sometimes, while we have some knowledge and understanding that we want to share with our family, it is more effective to speak less and show them by our actions the change that Christ has made in our lives.
If we "preach" constantly to them, over time their hearts may harden and resent what we have to say. We may know what God's Word says and want to speak out when we see immoral or unwise behavior. It is then, I believe, that we must understand that people sin because they are sinners, just as we were before we received Christ. We do not and should not enable them to sin by our behavior or words when we see it, but we should realize that we cannot change their behavior. Even if we can in some instances (like a parent with a child where we have that authority) we need to keep in mind that their greatest need is Christ as Savior.
It's a very hard line to walk and there is no perfect way we can do it because we are not perfect.
Maybe ask God to give you a greater sense of His peace and joy. Use the followship at your Church to have people in your life who are brothers and sisters in Christ and ask God to help you find peace and joy there.
Continue to love your family, pray for them and show them the love of Christ. Maybe ask God if you should speak less and act more and ask God for wisdom to know when to speak and then trust Him to answer that prayer.
I am sorry if I am saying anything here that comes from ignorance of your situation. I do not understand it completely. God does and maybe some of this will help.
Be joyful. Rejoice in what God is doing in your life. It hurts to love people and know they don't know Jesus. You may be a tool in God's hand to change that, but it is God and His Holy Spirit who must do the work. Rest in that and perhaps God can fill you more with his peace and joy.
Bart
