derrick09,
I know exactly how you feel, I've been there. I've denounced my faith two times in my life, but here I am, as strong as I've ever been in my faith, and I don't plan to denounce it, I'm now
absolutely secure in it. Why? I went through a phase where I
needed answers to my questions. At times, I would go sleepless, immersed in studying, and researching; trying to put the puzzle pieces together to the ultimate question:
why? And, in that mind-set (double-minded, as Scripture states), I was whimsical, I would blow with the breeze; the first challenge to my faith put me into an insecure light, "
what if they're right?"
My answer came in succession. Instead of looking at my beliefs through a
theological point-of-view, I approached them through a
philosophical point-of-view. I studied philosophy, logic and the natural sciences,
extensively, using bits and pieces to confirm one another, and what I learned is that
all knowledge is philosophically conveying, in a reductionist manner, the
same thing; God, the First Cause, the
Supreme Being, the absolute metaphysics,
the purpose. In the words of Descartes on metaphysics, "
Thus the whole of philosophy is like a tree: the roots are metaphysics, the trunk is physics, and the branches that issue from the trunk are all the other sciences". Without the roots, or First Cause (God, in this sense), the foundation of all
certain knowledge is philosophically destroyed, and lends itself to the infamous infinite regression theory.
This is where the danger to the
immature believer's faith being possibly destroyed comes into play (Thomas Aquinas talks about this in his
summa; he opines that a believer shouldn't debate, or put on a public showing in the presence of believers weak in their faith). And by
immature, I'm not implying anything malevolent, or insulting your intelligence; I use it in the sense that you don't have a
secure foundation for your faith, you are an
infant in Christ -- you need
milk, not solid food. You have to understand the
elementary truths of God's purpose, and law, before you can apply them. God
wants you to question him, he
wants you to
test the spirits, and this boils down to knowledge. If you aren't informed, how can you
test the spirits? You cannot, and thus this is where the confusion, and anger comes from. You aren't informed, you aren't learned; an equally uninformed nonbeliever exploits this weakness, they feed off of your ignorance, they parrot what another nonbeliever tells them, without even validating whether it's true or not, because
the word of God is foolish to natural man, and they will use any means to discredit it. Peter talks about this in Scripture when explaining Paul's letters.
I'm not going to insult nonbelievers, and I don't mean to; there are very intelligent ones out there who operate on a code of ethics (Bertrand Russell, and Antony Flew, are excellent atheist philosophers who applied civility to debate and discussions; Flew isn't an atheist anymore, however). Most YouTube nonbelievers use
no ethics, they don't want to discuss reality, they want to discuss the
manipulation of reality.
It is what it is isn't true to them, what's true to them is
it is what I say it is. This is what's been labeled
New Atheism, which relies on
radical empiricism and egoism, not logic and reason. It's more or less existentialist
Sophism, which is a form of
purposely deceptive reasoning to confuse, and exploit, for
personal gain.
However, this may
appear gloom, it's really not. Once you get to the
roots of most nonbeliever's philosophies you'll instantly notice inconsistencies, and contradictions. When you logically deconstruct their arguments, it indeed does, as touchingcloth says:
degenerate into both sides essentially shouting "but you're so stupid! I'm right, you're wrong! Duh!"
And I
also agree with it being
both sides. I love my brothers, and sisters, but some of the discussions, and reasoning, that I've witnessed are downright
disgusting. There is no honor, or glory, of God when you resort to the same emotionally charged tactics of name-calling, and personal attacks. It only breeds further hatred, and anger. The reason that your faith is so brittle is, as I said, you aren't informed enough to defend it against objections. This leaves you submissive to irrational assertions. You
must develop your critical thinking, you
must educate yourself; dive into philosophy, dive into the natural sciences, dive into history, learn from them, apply them (love God with all your
mind; reason with him). One of the reasons why I found this site so appealing is because science plays a descriptive role in faith, Scripture itself is rather vague when it comes to description. Its purpose is not to
describe, it's purpose is to
prescribe that Christ came in the flesh, fulfilled prophecy, and died on the cross. It's a
testimony, not a science
textbook. Saint Augustine held this view as well, he wasn't interested in Scripture's literal creation itself, he was interested in the prescriptive philosophy of how God, and man's relationship develops. He wanted to worship the
Creator, not the
creation.
Don't be afraid that things you read may undermine your faith, take things beyond face-value,
test them.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. Ignorance breeds fear, fear breeds hate, hate breeds
misery, and God, above
all things is happiness, and love. God is not miserable. God does not want you to be miserable.
My affirmation to you, with all of the above aside, is that through my experience, I can, with
absolute certainty say to you that your faith is secure if you wish to pursue further studies. There is
no conclusive proof (it's not philosophically possible) of God's nonexistence, and any atheist, or nonbeliever, who asserts that there is, isn't operating on logic; they're operating on deceptive reasoning, or
sophism. If they wish to
believe that God does not exist, that's perfectly fine, and even valid. It's their decision to do so. I have much respect for those who've took the time to solidify their belief that they cannot, or will not, believe in the existence of a higher being. On that issue, I side with Thomas Aquinas, when he says:
Though one may deduce the existence of God and his Attributes (One, Truth, Good, Power, Knowledge) through reason, certain specifics may be known only through special revelation (such as the Trinity).
Reason can deduce the existence of a
First Cause, and its necessary philosophical qualities; what reason
cannot do, as said in the quote, is to arrive at conclusions about
spiritual truths taught by the
spirit, or revelation (i.e. the divinity of Christ). Many intellectuals reasoned like this such as Einstein, Spinoza, the Founding Fathers, etc., The death of Socrates was partially based on this very premise. He
refused to accept the existence of the many Greek gods, and the democracy saw such beliefs as corrupting to their youth, but in his speech, or Plato's
Apology, he references, and confirms, his belief in a
singular God. And he was
not apologetic for doing so.
Do
not listen to divisive (and contentious) individuals (or groups), who
claim that the scientific method, philosophy of science, or any other sciences, are antithetical to your beliefs (or your belief in the existence of God). I say this because most of those YouTube types you're referring to hold a world-view of
scientism, materialism, physicalism, etc.,. If you wish to engage them in debate, or defend against their objections to your faith, don't cite Scripture, they won't listen; cite
logic, like Paul did in Athens, Paul
fearlessly took on the Stoics, and Epicureans; he
knew he possessed
the Truth.
I hope this helps. If you need further assistance, I'll more than gladly assist.
