Hello Zoegirl..
zoegirl wrote:J.Davis wrote:Also, men (and women) have a hard time seeing past their nature so men will believe that others will see that they did not live up to the role their male nature demands. Therefore, it is not acceptable to be unmanly in a situation that the male nature would deem shameful, showing that if a lady was present you would not be in the state the male nature encourages.
It's a bit sad, though, isnt' it....that in most churches it's still unacceptable to be vulnerable? I'm not talking about men or women... just in general. It's unfortunate that when we (collective we) feel the most pain, we feel we must hide it. The few times I have felt liek crying in church I was at great pains to hide it.
One of the best verses in the Bible...."Jesus wept"...
Not in the churches I’ve been to (I’ve been to a lot of churches and different kinds, performing as a musician), people cry and sob all over the place...lol. I think that kind of thing is only frowned upon in churches that are oppressed by tradition or legalism. Jesus? He didn’t have a lady, he had no need to put up fronts to make someone he cared about (a women/love of his life) feel as if she should not worry.
zoegirl wrote:J.Davis wrote:Seriously though, all of this is just a likely reason for the stereotype. I will say that everyone should keep developing the nature God approves of for their sex and that they should properly manage their emotions according to their sex and the situation. If you guys want to be supportive for your lady in church but worshiping God evokes tears and an inability to support her then you can resist
(EDIT)I understand what you mean....I would hope that this would not be the norm, though
I would hope that she isn't so weak that she can't handle herself weeping and him feeling emotional and having an errant tear or two then good grief, how in the world is she handling life?!?!?! Give us a little bit of credit here. We may cry at the drop of a pin but that has no bearing on our strength and this seems rather simplistic to say that he needs to always be without tears. I know my dad rarely cried but the few times he did did no disservice in my eyes....he is a man through and through but good grief, let a man have some tears!!
It’s not that a man believes women are weak or incapable of handling their own tears or even him crying. It’s Just that he has something inside of him that says put her first, make sure her needs are met first. It’s an instinct similar (don’t get me wrong here) to how a good mother wants to make sure their child is taken care of before herself. Men have that for both the child and the women, but in different ways for both. No matter how strong the women is, the man wants to make sure she is taken care of before he tends to his needs and desires because that is in his nature (at least in the nature of a man who walks with God).
zoegirl wrote:(EDIT)I think guys in general have an overly dramatic sense of the meaning of women's tears....we can cry at a stupid FOlger's commercial showing the son coming home for Christmas....but that doesn't mean we need you to never tear up in some masculine display at controlling emotions in some mistaken belief that we need a pillar of strength. (please, women, please let's not say this is so!)...they hate seeing us cry, but truly this isn't, for us, indicative of us collapsing, or rather, it's not indicative of us being overall weak. We may want a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear, but we don't need for you to be an emotionless rock.
(Smile), We are not without commonsense…. I think most guys (or at lest I do) know that ladies get emotional and cry easily sometimes. But there is a big difference between you crying at home over a Folgers’s commercial and you crying in a public place where other ladies may have a man to hug, comfort, give them a shoulder to cry on etc. I would not leave my girl or wife comfortless and looking like she has no support when other ladies do. However, if you are crying at home over a Folgers’s commercial then we will probably just poke fun at you…lol! We still would not cry over something like that because we have just spent a lot of time preparing for the strong supportive role our instincts demand of us so something that insignificant just would not effect us. We know when things are not to serious and we are far from emotionless. I personally like to be the one evoking emotions a lot of the time and I think most guys like to have fun.
zoegirl wrote:J.Davis wrote:but worship God properly in a place that makes you comfortable. If you are single and don’t care how you look in church then have at it.
One would hope that truly church would be the one safe place where you could cry and have at it. May we all be so willing as the woman wiping His feet with her tears and perfume....willing to be so open with the responses.
Hey (smile) now you’re cheating…You took that away from the rest of the paragraph and the idea behind it. But I’ll work with it…(smile). In any case, we go to church in order to assemble ourselves with other believers so that we can have christian support. But the bible does not say that we have to go to the church building. You can have church at your house, outside etc. So if one does not feel they can worship God to the level they desire in a building that was made to hold church services then they are free to go elsewhere…I see nothing wrong with that…We are the church, not the building.
zoegirl wrote:J.Davis wrote:If you are with a lady and you are both ok with crying then pray for God to fix your weak broken manhood….lol…Joking, it’s up to each couple. And if you are not effected by situations that would cause tender emotions for most but you still love God with all your heart then that is fine as well…Whatever you do, just make sure God get’s his time…
hmmm I wonder how much you are truly just joking
I agree...God, above all, gets His time.
Well, I think it’s fine for another guy to cry with his wife in that situation but I won’t. So yeah, I was joking as far as the idea that any man who cries in that situation is somehow weak or broken.