I need a friend or someone close.

[Canuckster1127]

Dallas, it's been a while since I've been 17. However, I can tell you, there are very few 17 year olds who are in life-lomg friendships. If you find in the course of your life that you have 2 or 3 good friends you should count yourself blessed. They're rare as society becomes more transient and mobile and as so many different things compete for people's time taking the currency.

Most people too, feel self-conscious and that they're somehow different than other people. I know I did at that age. As I've grown older I've come to realize that most people are greatly worried about what other people think of them. Most other people are worrying the same thing so much they don't have time to think about you. Most of our evergy spent worrying about what others think of us is wasted because the truth is, they aren't thinking about us much at all.

Relationships with the opposite sex will come in time. Most of the claims made by teens your age as to how deep, strong and even physical their relationships are, are ourtright lies and exagerations told to try to compensate for what I said earlier about how much everyone worries about how other people think of us. You're more normal than you realize and think you are. Let go, relax and enjoy the ride for where you are right now. My late teens and early 20's were exciting years of a lot of change and transitions and I look back at them now and realize what good times there were ever while I was worried about things that worked themselves out just fine as I grew older. I bet you'll find that will be the case for you as well.

[Reactionary]

My late teens and early 20's were exciting years of a lot of change and transitions and I look back at them now and realize what good times there were ever while I was worried about things that worked themselves out just fine as I grew older.

Bart, I have to say that I fully agree with you on that. I'm currently in that age, and I do feel like I grow and learn something new every day - I can literally feel myself maturing, and despite the problems and obstacles I come across, the feeling is great.

[Danieltwotwenty]

Hi Dallas

I to have had similar problems when I was teen and other issues as well, I don't know what sort of time you spend on video games but I would reccomend getting outside or do an activity that involves contact with other people. This helped me as after awhile I statred to become a recluse and lost a great many friends, reality is so much better than games.


Dan

[Dallas]

reality is so much better than games.


Dan

You might find this stupid to believe, but growing up I never had the "support" from family. Not saying they raised me bad, they just didn't give enough support. So to escape the pain from being alone, I went into many of hours playing video games, to the point of it actually becoming my reality. Outside of the realm of playing video games, I felt depressed all the time, never wanting to do anything, stoped caring about things, etc... So, what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what do you think I am saying?

-Dallas

[Canuckster1127]

Dallas,

What it sounds to me like you're saying is that socially you were arrested in your development because you were limited in your social opportunities and you isolated into video games as a coping mechanism. That's a valid explanation for how you've come to where you are and as a child your power and your options were limited. It's a sign to me of a great deal of self-awareness that at the age of 17 you recognize this and realize you have needs to address.

There are things you can do to work through this. Find resources around you. There are structured social structures and events that you can seek out who will welcome you if you make the effort to come. Believe it or not, you can even do that in some places in the context of video games. My kids growing up used to put together gaming parties where others would come and they'd play together by networking their computers. There are computer clubs that meet regularly.

If you're having trouble overcoming your fear or uncertainty in doing something like this, then reach out if there are school counselors and ask for help. Some churches might provide pastoral counselling that can help you to walk through it.

You're no unusual at all. People address issues like this all the time and are successful. For you to be self-aware of your need and to ask like this should encourage you greatly that you have the internal resources with God's help to overcome and grow. Nobody has a perfect childhood or is without imbalances in their lives. The difference is that once you become an adult you can no longer blame your past for who you are. It may be a good explanation, but it's ultimately not an excuse because you have the power to do something about it. If you learn that lesson at this point in your life and can act to make changes you'll be well ahead of most people. I certainly wouldn't know enough or be brave enough to ask at 17. So I have a lot of respect for you. Now that you've identified what you need, find a way to make it happen.

blessings,

bart

[Danieltwotwenty]

reality is so much better than games.


Dan

You might find this stupid to believe, but growing up I never had the "support" from family. Not saying they raised me bad, they just didn't give enough support. So to escape the pain from being alone, I went into many of hours playing video games, to the point of it actually becoming my reality. Outside of the realm of playing video games, I felt depressed all the time, never wanting to do anything, stoped caring about things, etc... So, what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what do you think I am saying?

-Dallas

Don't find it stupid it all mate, I have similiar reasons why I got hooked on video games but what I eventually learn't was that I can't keep blaming my parents for the harm they did to me, that I am in control of my own destiny ( with Gods help of course ) and that I needed help.
Maybe have a chat with a counsellor or you family doctor about these issues before it consumes your life and trust me it can, I learn't the hard way.


Dan

[StMonicaGuideMe]

If you'd like a lady to talk to, I can lend an ear, and I'm not that much older (in my 20's)! If you have any questions about what to look for in a good Christian girl, or anything really, don't be shy I play games, too, though probably too much Definitely aware when it leads my thoughts away from God, and sometimes, I have a little voice in my head that says "imagine all the time you could have spent praying or doing something not self serving..."