Thanks for the responses guys. One thing that I'm trying to do to find peace and closure on this issue is something that I think I hinted at in my op on this thread and on the other one that is related to this, and that is the positive hopeful side of me thinks that God (and this assuming God is as loving or much more loving than what you and I think He is) will never stop creating things even in the new heavens and earth.
Ok, this is the positive side of me talking, there is one thing we know for sure about God is that He loves to create and restore things. If so doing He can do all sorts of things to help fill in all the empty space in heaven from the lack of believers there. Since He is all power, all knowing and hopefully all loving, He can create brand new human beings from scratch, He could even make "saved versions" of lost loved ones complete with memories of past earthly life and everything if He so chooses to do so. Or He could create new kinds of non human beings or spiritual beings like angels, cherubs and so on, or He can make things that have never been created before.
So when I think about all the people I know and love who probably won't make the cut after everything is said and done I think to myself, "oh well, that's ok, God can make more". And for me if He does choose to do such a thing He can even allow us or in my case, me to work side by side with Him in making these new beings and perhaps I'll be able to put in personality traits, good looks, and other things that I remember and love about unsaved loved ones into these new creations and thus help ease any misery I have over not having unsaved loved ones there.
That or He can do nice things with us when we are in fellowship with Him that will be so fun, so fulfilling, so intoxicatingly wonderful that we will forget about our lost loved ones and just enjoy whatever it is He has for us there.
And again that's the positive side of me thinking. The negative side of me thinks that God would care less about how we feel about it and just tell us to "deal with it" and just sit back and enjoy "fellowship" with Fred Phelps and the Westboro gang and with the Amish and with the sadomastic Quakers of colonial times cause that's all that's going to be there for the most part. And all we will do is sit around have dull, boring, bitter, hateful, legalistic *church services" where God being a celestial version of Fred Phelps will speak behind a wooden box telling us to go to hell and take us to never ending levels of anger, sadness, despair and boredom.
So deciding what side I need to stay on is quite tricky, because yes I want to feel good and feel positive but is it BIBLICAL? Many times sadly I think my negative view might be more biblical than my positive view. So that is the problem I face in hopes of coming to grips with the reality of most of my loved ones not making it to heaven. And so from this point, what do you all think I should do with the stuff I just mentioned in mind? Thanks again guys and GB.
Oh and P.S. You probably won't ever see me mention Fred Phelps ever again since I just found out on my facebook feed that he passed away earlier today. He was 84. May he rest in peace and GOOD RIDDANCE.