Evidence for God from Science

I don't advocate hitting children in general, but sometimes only a smack will do. I don't think its abuse unless of course somebody has anger issues and are abusing the child. Smacking or hitting is the most basic and common act in nature when it comes to raising the newborn, animals do it with their offspring all the time.

I think smacking/spanking occasionally is fine for most parents but I've been a terrible smacker myself - I lash out instead of putting them over my knee and spanking in an organised manner, after explaining clearly why I'm doing it. That seems a little cold-blooded to me though - I suppose I prefer more logical discipline like taking something off your child when they've misused it. More often though I remove privileges (or pocket money) for an unrelated reason because there's no logical consequence for their misdemeanour - like swearing in front of the little children I look after for example. I suppose in the old days they'd get their mouths washed out with soap!

Giving an immediate smack seems awkward as well - I could never smack them very hard on the backside through their clothing - it seemed to hurt my hand more than it hurt them! I've ended up slapping them on the cheek more often in recent years when they're being total monsters, but I always feel bad in a way about that. I try to take a moment to think of a good non-contact discipline instead of lashing out. I think it would have been different if we'd stayed in New Zealand, as we left just before my older son was two - I probably would have been worried enough about being seen in public physically disciplining them to make an effort not to get in the habit.

neo-x wrote:I don't advocate hitting children in general, but sometimes only a smack will do. I don't think its abuse unless of course somebody has anger issues and are abusing the child. Smacking or hitting is the most basic and common act in nature when it comes to raising the newborn, animals do it with their offspring all the time.

And animals EAT their offspring too. What are you saying?

RickD wrote:

neo-x wrote:I don't advocate hitting children in general, but sometimes only a smack will do. I don't think its abuse unless of course somebody has anger issues and are abusing the child. Smacking or hitting is the most basic and common act in nature when it comes to raising the newborn, animals do it with their offspring all the time.

And animals EAT their offspring too. What are you saying?

Pun was intended as seeing as some people bring out the nature argument to support anything.

But on a serious note, I think some people make too much of the whole smack issue. I don't think its an issue unless its being abused.

neo-x wrote:

RickD wrote:

neo-x wrote:I don't advocate hitting children in general, but sometimes only a smack will do. I don't think its abuse unless of course somebody has anger issues and are abusing the child. Smacking or hitting is the most basic and common act in nature when it comes to raising the newborn, animals do it with their offspring all the time.

And animals EAT their offspring too. What are you saying?

Pun was intended as seeing as some people bring out the nature argument to support anything.

But on a serious note, I think some people make too much of the whole smack issue. I don't think its an issue unless its being abused.

In the US, we call it spanking. And I agree.

I think with young children it can have benefits. If they continuely reach or touch something they shouldn't. Of course the obvious answer is to remove the object or distract the child but sometimes that's not possible. I don't see anything wrong with what I would call tapping the child on the hand.
The same for a tap on the bum.

This probably works best when they are quite small and reasoning just doesn't work.
I don't think that smacking an older child is the right option.
Because a tap on the hand or bum just isn't going to do the trick for older children. Where a 'tap' serves more as a shock value than actually causing them physical harm to a smaller child in older children it moves into hitting them. To actually hurt them and I'm not down with that.
And I don't think it's the most effective form of discipline;
Unless the child is frightened of the parent and of being hit, but I would never want my child to be frightened of me.
I want their respect not their fear.
Effective parenting is done best through mutual respect and not through fear.

I know a lot of people think it's old school and good for kids to get a wallop every now and then but I think societal thinking has moved past that. It's not a case of kids not getting smacked enough in today's society but them not being raised to have respect for themselves and others.
You can teach your kids old school values without using the 'rod'.

I hear you Mel. It seems, especially here in the southern US, there's a mindset that physical discipline, even bordering on abuse, is an acceptable way of punishing a child.

The mindset of, "my parents did it, so I should too", is pretty common.

For example, take the Adrian Peterson case. He physically abused his young child. And he had no idea that what he did was even wrong. The child was whipped with a switch, made from a stick.

The child had open wounds all over his body, from the abuse. Including on his scrotum.