Evidence for God from Science

send an sms that it was you, his daughter...

maybe...

1over137 wrote:send an sms that it was you, his daughter...

maybe...

I text back "that's okay dad" He'll know its me, he is in regular cintact with my brother and sister.

Anyway, how are you holding up sweetheart?

Annette, it really is painful to even hear of this riff. What precipitated such a terrible treatment, if you feel comfortable sharing?

Where to start?
My parents, my mums idea of motherhood was putting me in a playpen with magazines and books, leaving me in the pram in the garden and at 7pm she "stopped being a mum and had me time"
Dad worked hard, was away a lot.
Mum has said, in company, that if she knew then what she knows now she would have stopped having children after her first (I have a brother and sister, older) and that I, as in me, have always been academically clever but emotionally retarded.
My hubby is, to them, their worst nightmare.

They have had little to do with us, or their granddaughter, we tried to encourage them to spend time with her, they didnt.
its a long story but if im brutally honest they just dont want to, they disapprove. we tried, really, really tried.

in a nutshell, my mum made her feelings clear, was spiteful and cruel and rejected my daughter as well as me.
after no contact for 18 months they invited themselves round xmas day two years ago, came to my shop and proceeded to tell me I was wrong to be msrried to my hubby, his family were worthless, I was being brainwashed and ruining my child.
I wrote them a letter, a polite, true one. told them I loved them but had no dedire to see them xmas day.
silence for months
daughters bday, a card.
this xmas, again, a card, with just grandma and grandad. thats it. no message. no name. no love.
then the txt.

oh. and my faith in God is a cult.

Yes, it hurts.

But, I love them.
Keep thinking forgive them, they know not what they do.

There are many stories how people became Christians, married a Christian and to their families it was hard. For them it was cult.
I have it to some extent also.
That my Christian friends are sect.
But with time it improved and hopefully will be improving.

Annette, just in bed, reading this on my ipad, first hours of the New Year, wife and BIL/SIL still up playing cards (I HATE cards, bores me to death!).

So tragic, Annette, so unnecessary, so unloving. My first thought was how could a person (you), so kind and loving, come from such heartless parents - I can surmise it has likely played a significant role in your struggle with alcohol. The answer is that your parents need the Lord - He is the key to softening their hearts. But you are right to not allow them to continously cause heartache or give them further opportunity to stir up trouble with your husband - it sounds as if you had to draw a necessary boundary, so has to protect your household.

Perhaps, you might consider writing them another letter revealing your love, your sadness at their abandoment, while explaining that you were terribly hurt by their attack upon your husband, whom you love, and that he makes you happy. And that you'd like things to be different - closer but respectful, if they so desire. And least they would see a door still open, if with reasonable conditions. At that point, you'd have comfort in knowing that you'd done all you possibly could. A simple text is too easy to ignore.

I'll pray for them, and for you, your husband and daughter. And I invite all of our other friends on the board to do so as well.

May the Lord bring you much happiness in 2016!

The letter I wrote them expressed my feelings for my husband, my love and respect for him. My marriage means something to me, and him. We have fought through so much together, sad childhoods, four miscarriages, depression and my affair. Our daughter is loved, secure, confident and happy.
I told them I love them, know they must love me but I cannot, and will not accept them voicing hurtful, negative comments about my husband to my daughter or me, especially when that is all they pass comment on.
That being able to, quite literally, count on one hand the times they have spent time with their granddaughter wasn't good enough, not when every time it cane from us. That when, after breaking my finger and asking if they could watch her for an hour while we went to a &e the fact that they were busy having lunch at my brothers (2 mins away) meant they couldnt possibly. They suggested we take her with us. It was an inconvenience rather than a chance for spending some time with family.
Let them know that they are always welcome to spend as much, or as little time with her as they wish but it had to be quality time, and no more insulting and putting down my family.

I pray that I can, and will, one day forgive them. They know not what they do (though, heartbreakingly, I think they do)
I cannot control how they act but I can control how I do.
I know my parents are a product of their upbringing so perhaps, once my heart has healed a little, I can cling to that, that it wasnt personal.
And use it, to ensure that cold, unloving circle that just breeds pain stops with me.
Every single painful thing I have gone through can bring about something good. Precisely because of all that pain I have an utterly beautiful, amazing relationship with my daughter.
God is guiding me, helping me, supporting me through this, as are all you guys.

I so, so want to forgive them, and at times I do but there is still a way to go so God please forgive me for not forgiving them totally, for holding on to some of the pain. I will, soon, but to do that means letting go of all I have ever known and that scares me.

Annette, you clarification of what you have already communicated to your parents shows me you've now done all you can. Of course, unfortunately, you cannot control their response.

The above said, you have noted some powerful understandings: 1) "I cannot control how they act but I can control how I do"; 2) "... use it, to ensure that cold, unloving circle that just breeds pain stops with me"; 3) "Every single painful thing I have gone through can bring about something good."

It's it weird how miserable people are constantly scanning the horizon, on a 24/ hunt for scapegoats and reasons for their own misery - when THE ultimate issue is within their own hard hearts.

Your last noted comment (#3) is really amazing, is it not? It's incredible how God can use difficult things in our pasts to create beautiful things in our present. As we know this, it gives us great hope. We also know that God will do all necessary to encourage and welcome your parents into His arms - IF they will only choose to reach BACK to His ALREADY outstretched hands. So, as long as they live, there is hope, certainly a potential, for this to happen (God's clearly wants that, He just won't force it). Meanwhile, keep praising God and living your life as best you can.

Annette, I sometimes wonder myself about forgiveness, in that, if you have completely forgiven someone of a great personal wrong, subsequently, will you be healed of ALL of the hurt and ALL of the anger? I dunno, it's really hard to not have residual feelings of some past great mistreatment, even after you think you've completely forgiven.

It all comes back to Luke23:34

Understanding it doesnt make it easier for me, at least not right now, but it will.

Complete forgiveness may not totally heal you, only God can do that. That ultimate forgiveness, that peace only God can give.
How can I blame my parents, really? They blame theirs. I wil not blame mine.
See? One step closer to forgiveness.
I forgive myself for resenting them.

One day, all this hurt, this anger will be healed.
God will see to it.
But
I gotta do my bit first.

God help me.

It does hurt.
But I know one day, it won't.
I can't say, hand on heart, that I forgive them but I can say I want to.
I know it is a "fault" of mine that I dont, just because I know what Christ would do doesnt mean I find it easy.
Just goes to show how precious forgiveness is.
Loving is easy.
Forgiveness, true, total forgiveness belongs to God.

I am loved here, how you feel about me here, I cant convey how it moves me, how much it matters to me.
My world is my family, my shop, my books, and of course God.
Always God.

I have always wanted to know why. In everything. Why is it that way? Why do people do what they do? Why do we feel how we do, why feel at all.
I want to feel, need to feel.
And I do.
That pain, compared to that joy, makes sense. Its a direct comparison. The depth of any sorrow directly meaures joy.
It has to.
There has to be a reason.
Otherwise its all pointless.
And love isnt pointless.

My other half.
My husband.
The father of my child.
My soulmate.
He is all of these things.
For him to be any of thosge, he has to be all.

He may not "get me"
My thoughts and ramblings are alien ti him, he cannot translate them as I do.
But.
He feels them.

I know, whether he believes or not, that God orchestrated this, we have something to give each other. Our pain, our need, our insecurities, our love.
We can heal each other.
And God can heal us together.

The last few posts..

they are me, stripped to my soul.
My thoughts, as they happen.

As it happens, I am drinking, and I only mention it because I struggle. Tonight, I am happy, reflective, prayerful, and I feel so very, very close to God.
He knows I choose Him, not alcohol but He also knows how hard I try and how difficult it is. Its not the alcohol I would miss. its the escape.
He knows that, as i run towards Him, I will trip, fall and stumble.
All the way.
He also knows I will finish.
I will finally, one day, fall into His arms.

He knows that, as i run towards Him, I will trip, fall and stumble.
All the way.
He also knows I will finish.
I will finally, one day, fall into His arms.

:8