Is it a sin to marry a minor?

[cslewislover]

I wonder where the cutoff is for Jac. 16 / 95 ????

[Proinsias]

Considering the situation, though, she *hasn't* had the normal, healthy upbringing that some teenagers have had.

There are healthy teenagers that I would have no problem seeing getting married early. she doesn't sound like one of them. She has been abused by both her father and mother and she is in a relationship that was essentially born from a rescue.

Bottom line, she needs counseling.

There *is* a huge difference between a 17 year old girl and a 27 year old man.

And if a girl of 14-17 is such an adult, then by all means, let's revoke all parental consent laws for abortion.

If this works out in the longterm then I think she may have married her counselor, and vice versa.

My wife is my counselor and I'm her counselor.

There's a fair chance counseling from a qualified professional 27yr old male won't be much better than that which her husband can provide.

The age difference is not something I'm familiar with, I was 20 when I met my wife and she was 24, but I've seen good friends have their lives rescued and enriched by love by partners deemed less than ideal originally.

On the other hand counseling isn't going to do much harm.

[zoegirl]

Ok, Honestly, folks,

Even accepting that in this case everything worked out, TO all of the fathers out there, would you be ok if your 16 year daughter comes and tells you that she has been chatting online with a 27 year old man and wants to get married?!?!?

Forgive me if I am skeptical.

Would we *really* advise a 16 year old girl to escape her abusive relationships by marriage? Really?!?!?!?

Lets face it, this is not the healthiest way to start a marriage. All I'm saying is that, just like any other Christian based marriage, they should seriously think about some sort of counseling to help them start right.

[ageofknowledge]

Ok, Honestly, folks,

Even accepting that in this case everything worked out, TO all of the fathers out there, would you be ok if your 16 year daughter comes and tells you that she has been chatting online with a 27 year old man and wants to get married?!?!?

Forgive me if I am skeptical.

Would we *really* advise a 16 year old girl to escape her abusive relationships by marriage? Really?!?!?!?

Lets face it, this is not the healthiest way to start a marriage. All I'm saying is that, just like any other Christian based marriage, they should seriously think about some sort of counseling to help them start right.

Cosigned.

[Echoside]

Ok, Honestly, folks,

Even accepting that in this case everything worked out, TO all of the fathers out there, would you be ok if your 16 year daughter comes and tells you that she has been chatting online with a 27 year old man and wants to get married?!?!?

Forgive me if I am skeptical.

Would we *really* advise a 16 year old girl to escape her abusive relationships by marriage? Really?!?!?!?

Lets face it, this is not the healthiest way to start a marriage. All I'm saying is that, just like any other Christian based marriage, they should seriously think about some sort of counseling to help them start right.

Yes, you definitely have a point. The situation, being rather complex might have "rushed" the marriage as a way to escape from her problems. However, this case might be an exception, I cannot know for sure but at the very least they should tread with caution to try and avoid any tragedy that may result. The counseling is probably a good idea to (although only they can know for sure).

[Gman]

For the record, I don't have any problems with your situation, dude. More power to you. I am a major proponent of young marriage. I'm convinced that one of the reasons our teen sex/pregnancy rates are so high is that we tell people to wait until their late 20s to marry. It's absurd.

For all the talk of teenage minds not being as mature as adult minds, I don't see that big of a difference. Perspectives can change, of course, but they will change from 20 to 30 and from 30 to 40 and from 40 to 50 . . . the fundamental mode of thinking doesn't. In biblical times, people were considered an adult at 13. I don't have a problem with that. This entire notion that teenagers are somehow not really adult is downright silly and I think the cause of a LOT of our problems.

Congratz on the marriage. In the end, it isn't romantic "love" that will keep you together. It's nothing more than commitment, both to one another and to Christ. In that, I would HIGHLY recommend the following sermon.

Dr. Voddie Baucham - CBU Chapel Pt. 1
Dr. Voddie Baucham - CBU Chapel Pt. 2
Dr. Voddie Baucham - CBU Chapel Pt. 3

The first is outstanding. The next two are very good and I think are very important. In fact, pretty much everything by him on the family is amazing. I hope they bless you as much as they blessed me.

God bless

Jac, this looks like something I would have wrote.

Sad, but this is very true. Believe me, if I had the chance to live my life over again, I would have married my gal in my teens. Like I was saying before, the world is focused on careers now. Do this so that you can get ahead of the game. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Forget family, forget children, just go out into the world and make a name for yourself.

[ageofknowledge]

Zoe brought up some very good points. echoside nobody's picking on you we're just 110% into your _ _ _ _ as usual which is what we do here... lol. What you have going for you is your legal apparently and both Christians right?

Still statistically it's shaky your marriage will surive http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1380/marria ... e-by-state. If she starts going to college and becoming upwardly mobile statistics show you're in trouble as the female's innate desire for the BBD (e.g. bigger better deal) kicks in. You'll know it because she'll be unhappy all the time and the fighting will begin. Hint: You'll always be at fault. That's deliberate on her part as she'll need to have a reason to emotionally separate from you so she can pursue the BBD with another male of higher status. You'll sit on the couch like most blue collar men nursing your Bud as always but she'll be headed in a completely different direction. Statistics say 70% of divorced men never even saw the paperwork coming. But that's still all in your future. Everthing's fine for now.

[cslewislover]

Age! LOL, that is so bizarre!!! For one, Echoside was not being defensive and he's not the one who got married. Two, most women just want a close relationship and to have a happy family. You mention about a wife being sad all of the time, but then the husband not seeing the paperwork coming. Those don't seem to go together to me. If a wife is sad all of the time and the husband doesn't care to notice or do anything about it, then the paperwork shouldn't be a big shock. LOL. (I'm not talking biblical things here . . . just relationship, a response to what you wrote.) Maybe it's all the beer drinking on the couch, instead of . . .

[ageofknowledge]

I know what I'm talking about here. I've seen it all play out 1,000 times right before my very eyes and to be honest: if I had ever married it would be 1000 + 1.

[Echoside]

Zoe brought up some very good points. echoside nobody's picking on you we're just 110% into your _ _ _ _ as usual which is what we do here... lol. What you have going for you is your legal apparently and both Christians right?

Still statistically it's shaky your marriage will surive http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1380/marria ... e-by-state. If she starts going to college and becoming upwardly mobile statistics show you're in trouble as the female's innate desire for the BBD (e.g. bigger better deal) kicks in. You'll know it because she'll be unhappy all the time and the fighting will begin. Hint: You'll always be at fault. That's deliberate on her part as she'll need to have a reason to emotionally separate from you so she can pursue the BBD with another male of higher status. You'll sit on the couch like most blue collar men nursing your Bud as always but she'll be headed in a completely different direction. Statistics say 70% of divorced men never even saw the paperwork coming. But that's still all in your future. Everthing's fine for now.

I went back and reread my posts like 3 times before i realised that the first part of your statement was SUPPOSED to have been made to Ryuzashi (i think :O)

[zoegirl]

Oh, age,, *honey*....

Care to put your entire foot in your mouth? How about the other one now?

So now we're just money-grubbing selfish little brats that let a little knowledge get in your way?

Heaven help us if we go to college...

Wow....

[cslewislover]

I know that I'm a female, and what I want is a close relationship, Age. What you're doing, as far as I can tell, is exaggerating the situations. Of course, if a woman is going to stay at home and raise kids, she's going to at least wonder how that is going to be affordable economically. She's going to want a spouse who is going to have a job, and if it's a better job that lets them go on vacations, all the better! But you keep talking like women are just money and status oriented, which just isn't true (not any more than for the percent of guys that are that way). I know in a lot of ways I'm not like a lot of women, yet there are a lot of women like me. We go for guys with character, not guys that claw their way to the top or spend all their money on toys to show-off. You are incorrect in this. Very very incorrect. Period. I think you're seeing what, for some reason, you want to see. Maybe this is the type of female you most like, so that's what you see. (Actually, as a female, I got SOOO tired of seeing guys go after the type of women you're talking about!!! Shallow!!!) I don't know; perhaps you're blaming them. But I know you're not right. I'm a female and have talked with other females! None of my female friends have been like you describe, but they have all been either academically or biblically oriented, not business.

[ageofknowledge]

I'm simply explaining a common pattern I've seen play out many times. Of course there are others such as the successful male trading down for a trophy wife. It's genetics. If those genetics are being superceded by the worldview of two people committed to it and each other I say "fantastic!"



Now does anyone have some corn. I suddenly have a hankering for corn and lots of it. Oink Oink.

[Gabrielman]

Wow... this brings back memories.... Age.... wow.

Still statistically it's shaky your marriage will surive http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1380/marria ... e-by-state. If she starts going to college and becoming upwardly mobile statistics show you're in trouble as the female's innate desire for the BBD (e.g. bigger better deal) kicks in. You'll know it because she'll be unhappy all the time and the fighting will begin. Hint: You'll always be at fault. That's deliberate on her part as she'll need to have a reason to emotionally separate from you so she can pursue the BBD with another male of higher status. You'll sit on the couch like most blue collar men nursing your Bud as always but she'll be headed in a completely different direction. Statistics say 70% of divorced men never even saw the paperwork coming. But that's still all in your future. Everthing's fine for now.

Not only do I not believe this, but I think all psychology is a complete load, again I wasted years of my life I will never get back studying it.... such a waste of time!!!!! Errr..... back to the topic, not all women are this way (but there are some.... >_> and they are.... well any way) So yes there are a few women like this. My mother never was though, nor any other woman in my family, so that kinda makes things in these stats look bad. Most stats are not accurate either. Mostly I would hope that every one here (instead of debating this) would just pray that they are both happy and they will last.

I know that I'm a female, and what I want is a close relationship, Age. What you're doing, as far as I can tell, is exaggerating the situations. Of course, if a woman is going to stay at home and raise kids, she's going to at least wonder how that is going to be affordable economically. She's going to want a spouse who is going to have a job, and if it's a better job that lets them go on vacations, all the better! But you keep talking like women are just money and status oriented, which just isn't true (not any more than for the percent of guys that are that way). I know in a lot of ways I'm not like a lot of women, yet there are a lot of women like me. We go for guys with character, not guys that claw their way to the top or spend all their money on toys to show-off. You are incorrect in this. Very very incorrect. Period. I think you're seeing what, for some reason, you want to see. Maybe this is the type of female you most like, so that's what you see. (Actually, as a female, I got SOOO tired of seeing guys go after the type of women you're talking about!!! Shallow!!!) I don't know; perhaps you're blaming them. But I know you're not right. I'm a female and have talked with other females! None of my female friends have been like you describe, but they have all been either academically or biblically oriented, not business.

Hmmm.... I wish that I could actually find a girl.... see I want that, a girl that wants those things.... they just don't want me... for some reason....

Ryuzashi You sound just like my neighbors, the situation they were in. She ended up being a stay at home mom, and they have been married for about 30 years, God bless the 2 of you!

[zoegirl]

Well, going back to the original post.

At the end of the day, good for you to make the commitment. Now is the time to find a good church and some good couples to help disciple you and strengthen your marriage. Make relationships and fellowship with other believers.

Good for you that she has a job. I don't remember hearing if she received her high school diploma, but hopefully that was part of the story. If she doesn't, then help her receive it or her GED.

Don't ever be afraid of her getting an education. If you are that insecure, then you have more problems than her age.